Threatened and chased in the street

[CatLady1987]

Hi,

I’d appreciate some thoughts on something that happened to me yesterday. I was walking to work after getting a coffee, minding my own, as you do. I walked past someone who looked like they might be homeless, but only caught sight of them in my peripheral vision. I had my headphones in and realised after a few seconds that they were running full-pelt after me. I stopped and took my headphones out and turned to realise they’d chased after me. This person came quite quickly towards me and went “you” in a menacing voice. I instinctively moved away and walked quickly down the street. The person came after me to the extent that I started crying and trying to get away more urgently. A woman stopped and tried to help me, by telling me to go to her, but the would-be attacker kept coming for me. She didn’t raise her hands but her eyes were terrifying. I felt like she was never going to stop. I kept telling her I hadn’t done anything, because I hadn’t. I didn’t know whether to try to run but I knew that would terrify me more. She kept pursuing me in circles. I couldn’t get past her. I thought she was going to hit me, I didn’t know if she had any weapons. Eventually a man appeared from a nearby church (a workman) and he took me inside the church away from her. I proceeded to have a massive panic attack. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I spoke to the police who are looking into it, but there’s been no update. I don’t even know if this is a crime, but I get the feeling they aren’t treating it like it is. I’d appreciate anyone’s thoughts on how they protect themselves? Has this happened to anyone else? Am I overreacting? Thank you for reading if you go this far!

The woman sounds very disturbed. Is that your usual route to work? I’m not surprised you were so upset, it sounds frightening.

Thank you for your reply and for validating. It is indeed. Thankfully we work from home half the week, but that doesn’t provide a great deal of comfort!

Sounds scary but the lady was obviously unwell and didn't actually touch you (although I can see why you thought she might).
Nothing actually happened, I say that not to minimise but to hopefully help you see that you are OK.
Sadly there are far too many people with addiction or MH issues wandering around these days and they are rarely dangerous

This sounds like a frightening incident and I’m not surprised you’re upset and shaken. I would be too. But a rare incident and no reason to think this will happen again. I don’t know if the police will take it seriously or not but I think you need to be prepared there might not be action taken that you’ll be happy with.

I would suggest being kind to yourself. Doing things that make you feel nurtured - baths, warm blankets, favourite comforting tv shows, that kind of thing. And perhaps play some Tetris (I know that sounds weird but there is some evidence it can stop unpleasant memories ‘embedding’ and becoming a problem).

Thank you for your replies, they’re appreciated. If she’s homeless and they haven’t tracked her down, there’s every chance it could happen again. I’ve just had an email back to say there’s no report of a crime, so they’re not treating it as such. I think I’ve every right to worry it could happen again, if she’s in that area when I am. I’ll just avoid that area as the police don’t seem to take anything seriously.

Thank you all. Probably just me blowing it out of proportion.

If you have a local homeless charity or police, I would get in touch and explain what happened and exactly where it happened. She is most likely already known.

Unfortunately you have to be murdered for the police to look into it. Sorry this happened to you, it sounds very unnerving

Thank you. The police are aware and haven’t even logged it as an incident, so I’m not barking up that tree again! I agree with @roseymoira, I honestly don’t think they care unless it’s serious. Going to get some kind of personal alarm, I think that might give me a bit of peace of mind. Ironic that assault can amount to something as simple as someone feeling like they’ve going to be hit or attacked. Mental health services are in the gutter, so if this person is in some kind of crisis, she won’t get the help she needs either.

What do you mean 'nothing actually happened ' it sounds a horrible experience and your invalidation of OP and the so frequent these days #bekind and think of them, is wearing.

well done for managing to get to safety. It must have been v scary. I think if i had to be in that area again, i would take a large walking stick like umbrella with me as that could be put up and held out in front to keep someone a small distance away, i would also consider a loud rape alarm type thing.

Thanks @DoreenonTill8 and @SeaToSki as well. I had a brolly with me but I didn’t think to use it tbh! I can honestly understand how scary it must be when you feel like someone’s going to attack you though. All self defence went out of the window! Maybe because it was so out of the blue and at 8am in the morning. I think with everything being closed it felt like there was nowhere to run to safety.

Not what I did in the slightest, I literally said that I wasn't minimising

And yes we should also think of people who suffer from addiction and MH problems, its basic decency not #bekind bollocks

How frightening for you OP.

Sounds like this person was quite mentally unwell and you probably resembled someone in her past which triggered something in her mind. I am not surprised you had a panic attack - you suddenly went into fight or flight.

Some things that may help:

Check out EMDR (tapping) videos on YouTube- that will help to reduce the emotional charge of the incident

Excellent book rec is "the gift of fear" by Gavin De Becker which is about listening to our instincts in situations where we feel unsafe. The book wont have been much help in this scenario but it might equip you with confidence going forward

Self care- try not to ruminate on this over and over, set time aside to relax. There are lots of apps where you can get free relaxation narration and doing this daily will help your overall anxiety levels.

Rationalise. What happened was upsetting but it's rare and not likely to ever occur again. Dont leave the house with a feeling of dread, leave the house knowing it is going to be a good day. That simple switch in your mind will make a massive difference.

This sounds really frightening.

Iwould go back to the police, in writing, and insist that they record this incident.
Say that the individual threatened you, that you were in fear of your life and that you are concerned that the person presents an ongoing
physical threat to you and to others. You fear a worse incident with actual injury, serious injury, in the future.

Do not allow the police to minimise this. The person may have mental health and or addiction issues, but these need addressing. Next time the person on the receiving end of this behaviour could be elderly or could respond with violence. And there might not be members of the public available to help.

Do not leave the police in a position where they can claim they had no knowledge of this person.

They are quite happy to record “non crime incidents” such as misgendering so why not this?

So when op was getting chased by this woman and was very frightened she should be thinking of the woman and 'gosh i really should be thinking of what's going on for her to making her threaten me'?

You are being a bit silly now

I agree that the police should have taken this very seriously and recorded the incident. There will be CCTV I am sure. How many times do we read/hear about murders committed by individuals who are not taking their medication/not being adequately cared for? The next person may not be so lucky and the woman needs urgent help.

@Hoppinggreen just because you “say” you are not minimising, it doesn’t mean the rest of us have to decide you are not minimising. Of course you are minimizing the OP’s experience.

It must have been pretty horrible. If I were you I’d wear trainers to walk back and forth OP, and I would run. At the very least it expends the energy during the ffff response.

It’s a shame we can’t just walk along a street these days.

.. and no, @DoreenonTill8 has a valid point. Please don’t patronise people.

That’s addressed to @Hoppinggreen again.

If OP feels I was minimising and not acknowledging how frightening it might have been then I apologise to her, it was not my intention.
I was trying to (badly it seems) say that it wasn't personal it was someone who was unwell and hopefully not dangerous and also to try and get her to focus on the fact that she is ok rather on what might have happened instead. It was advice given to me in a similar situation and it helped.
BUT if this in any way sounded callous then I do apologise to you OP

It's good that you recognise that @Hoppinggreen but I still stand by that the reason behind or intent of the women's actions don't matter to op, the fact she was frightened is the main factor.