Is it worth getting a Child Arrangement Order?

[Rosie1312]

Hi,

I'd appreciate any advice/experience/perspective on this.

DD (almost 2) and I are estranged from her father/my ex-husband. I left him to escape abusive behaviour when DD was only 6 weeks old. Aside from a few day visits in the months after the separation, which ceased in July 2023, he has had no contact or care responsibility since. Since September 2023 he has ghosted me, never answering my phone calls or responding to messages directly. I was only able to finalise the divorce through a solicitor as mediator.

I am planning to take DD abroad for a holiday and am in a bit of a stress about getting evidence of permission from him (as expected, he is not responding to me). The experience is making me wonder whether it might be worth applying for a Child Arrangement Order to be named the Parent with Residence, as I believe that then would enable me to take her on future trips up to 28 days without needing permission. I feel that it is unfair that he has this hold over me and DD without having any input in her life, and an arrangement order might redress that imbalance. At the same time, I worry about unforeseen consequences. Right now he has no desire to see her, which I think is best for the time being, but I worry about that changing if I rock the boat.

Thoughts?

Not even read your post. Yes. Always yes.

On reading your post, Yes with big bright red loud ringing alarm bells on it. Because at the moment, if he’s on the birth certificate, he can rock up to wherever she goes to school or nursery, and take her away with him.

I’ve seen this happen just to get at the mum.

A Child Arrangements (Live With) Order won’t stop him being able to do those things, OP would need a Prohibited Steps Order and to be able to explain why that would be needed.

OP, yes a Lives With order would give you that freedom to go abroad for a holiday without the consent issue. Just be aware that you might be opening the door to him trying to piggy back in on your application with demands of his own.

This is good advice, and the second paragraph highlights the main reason why it might be best to leave court alone.

I am no legal expert but I am a single mum who has taken my children abroad several times. I’ve never been asked for any proof of their father’s consent. As teenagers they were once asked who the woman they were travelling with and they said ‘our mum’ and that was enough to satisfy the passport control guy.

Every time someone asks about this we get people coming on saying they've never had any problems. However, every year some people lose their holidays because they don't have evidence of the other parent's consent.

Does he have parental responsibility?

OP describes him as her ex-husband. They were clearly married when OP's daughter was born, so he has PR.