CMS 50/50 shared care dispute

[Jy8]

Hi, first time poster here just need some advice please if anyone could help me please. I apologise for the long post.

So me and my ex partner are no longer together but we share a beautiful 4 year old daughter who we both have 50/50 shared care parental responsibility. I provide her own clothes, food, toys, school uniform, I do her homework with her and take her to school and pick her up (my mother takes her to school as it’s an arrangement in place because of my job I can’t physically take her and pick her up because I work in construction and the hours don’t allow me to do that). We have also agreed that on my days of care I will take her to dentist appointments and GP appointments and pick her up from school if she is feeling unwell. She currently gets free school meals because of the government scheme up until Year 2 and we’ve agreed that school trips will be a shared cost. The responsibilities are literally divided and it is a true 50/50.

She has obviously contacted CMS to get money off me. We split in May this year, for May I paid her £300, June £200, and July £150. From August I started to refuse to pay her as I believed (and what I’ve been researching) I don’t have to pay any sort of child maintenance if the care is shared. It turns out from the CMS calculations that they worked out I have overpaid her all these months I did pay her and it turned to work out as 8 months of CMS in those 3 months. Well their decision is made and I’m now disputing the fact I have to pay her anything at all. They asked me questions about how often I see my daughter which is 4 nights one week and 3 nights the following, plus as stated previously I have to take and pick up from school. Also about GP and dentist appointments, which as stated I said I would take her on my days of care so it doesn’t really matter if our daughter is assigned to her GP (not her dentist).

From what I’ve been reading, because CMS assumes that because she is the recipient of child benefit that ‘automatically qualifies’ her to be entitled to child maintenance, which makes me the ‘non-resident parent’. I have researched the Regulation 50 of the Child Support Maintenance Regulations 2012 and it states that ‘a person cannot be treated as a non-resident parent for child support purposes unless he provides day-to-day care to a lesser extent than the other parent’. Which as stated the care is shared and split straight down the middle.

There is no formal agreement in place for example a court order (this could cost me tens of thousands) which I know the CMS would definitely take into consideration. But it’s not financially viable for myself as I already have my daughter 50% of the time so it’s not like I have to get a child arrangement order in place. It’s just the day to day shared care aspect I need to resolve. My ex partner and myself have verbally agreed a schedule which works and we have been adhering to, however she has lied to CMS about the shared day to day care responsibilities (this is actually fraud that she is doing).

I was wondering if a child mediation would suffice (which would cost me a lot less), I know they can sort out the child arrangement aspect and from what I’ve they can also sort out the day to day care and financial responsibilities of it as well. Also from what I’ve been researching they can make it ‘legally binding’ so hopefully the CMS have to recognise that as proof? Because as it stands it’s my word against my ex partners because of the verbal agreement. I have evidence in proof of texts from ex partner stating the schedule and that it’s a true 50/50.

On top of that I believe that service has been abysmal and I’ve been treated very poorly and have actually become a victim given the circumstances. They haven’t gave me a fair assessment and stated about the discrepancies between my answers and ex partners answers.

I’m truly stuck in what to do about this situation obviously our daughter comes first and it’s within her best interests and there’s so many legalities involved it’s just very confusing and time consuming and on top of that it’s becoming a detriment to my work/life balance and causing me unnecessary stress and inconvenience.

Furthermore they have also told me I’m in ‘arrears’ so I’m assuming they have backdated this claim since August and haven’t provided me a breakdown of the ‘arrears’. This is a new claim that they have recently got back to me about, so I’m still within the time period of a ‘mandatory reconsideration’ and then I believe I can go to the ‘Independent Case Examiner’ and then an appeal in court in regards to this case. As you can see it’s a lot of hassle on my behalf and would like some advice on what to do next or if anyone had any similar experiences please. Feel free to ask me any additional details regarding this matter and I will happily oblige.

My DH and I have been through very similar with his children and I feel I can help. You need to contact meditation and get in writing that you have shared care and that's your arrangement - this will be seen as legal documentation that CMA HAVE to accept. If your ex refuses mediation it will give you an open ticket to court that won't work in her favour as this will show her unwillingness to co-operate. Judges can see right through people like this - they see it every day. Court doesn't cost as much as you think if you represent yourself, which is easy enough. You have to go through meditation before it goes to court anyway, it's pretty much mandatory now I think. And no court will disallow 50/50 unless cause for concern because they see each parent as equally as important to the child. I know it seems like an unnecessary hassle, but I'd get your ducks in a row before you're taken for a ride. It's awful that it gets like this after a split, but from my experience it seems CMA will always side with the Mother's word - they don't care about your "proof" unless it's in legal writing. I think the cost of mediation is around £130, but it'll be worth it to have peace of mind that you have the access to your daughter that you want. Better to get the ball rolling now to prevent any future toxicity that won't be healthy for either parties, and most of all your daughter.

Thank you for the time to read and give your advice on this matter, It’s actually made me feel a lot better about it all and I will definitely be doing that! I will get the ball rolling asap, thanks again.

As I understand it, if there is a large disparity in income, and one party previously forgo career progression to be the main carer for the child, allowing the other to increase their salary - then the larger income would owe CM to the lower. Which would make sense. It would be a bit strange for a dc to eat fillet steak in one house and bread in other.

Aww, you're welcome! I'm glad it's made you feel a bit better, it's very overwhelming and the Internet proves to not be of much help with these situations - theres so much conflicting information out there. Please feel free to drop me a private message if you need any further help, we've literally been through every hurdle you can imagine over the years so there isn't much we don't know on the subject. And good luck, just remember the stress you're feeling now is temporary, things will get better with time.

CMS is a minimum amount anyway and doesn't really reflect the cost of looking after a child. What are the financial circumstances of you and your ex? Can she afford to look after your DC without any payment from you? Because if she can't, your child will potentially suffer. That should be your concern rather than what the CMS officially says you owe.

Mediation doesn't sort anything for you. They are there to mediate, not to make arrangements for you. You would need to make agreements with your ex, with them facilitating the discussion.

Your understanding is incorrect. Child maintenance in the UK is paid by the parent who is not living with the child regardless of relative salaries. If one parent earns £100k and has the child 6 nights a week and the other earns £20k and has the child one night a week, the parent earning £20k would pay maintenance.

Yes I came to say this. It's not actually the case that 50/50 care means no payments are due. If your income if much higher the dw then yes cm may still be due. I think the difference has to be a significant amount though.

I'm constantly correcting this assumption so it isn't widely known.

If care is shared 50/50, child maintenance is paid to the parent who receives Child Benefit even if they are the higher earner.

@prh47bridge - the whole point of the op is what happens when 50/50 care

If there is true 50/50 in care and costs, why should anyone receive CMS?

Thanks for the replies everyone.. we both work full-time, me self employed and her employed. I’m not going to give the figures but from what I’ve worked out the difference isn’t significant enough to warrant the CMS payments. My child will not suffer as I left her with everything and I was the one who had to start over so in terms of the quality of life, my daughter had a better quality of life with her mother to begin with until I purchased all the necessary needs for my daughter.

There’s a backstory behind this but we both have new partners, her partner lives with her (pretty sure illegally as he isn’t down for living there and she’s claiming single occupancy..) so that’s a second income which might not be spent directly on my child (which I don’t expect) but for rent and bills etc. Also as stated she claims single occupancy so is entitled to all the reductions and benefits etc that universal credit gives her. Myself however am not.

So you can understand my frustration that I am forced to pay the maintenance until sorted out legally otherwise I’ll be threatened with legal action for example revoking my drivers license and my passport which would be detrimental to mine and my daughters quality of life and have a massive impact on my career and loss of earnings.

Realised that after I posted, hence my second post.

I’ll be threatened with legal action for example revoking my drivers license and my passport which would be detrimental to mine and my daughters quality of life and have a massive impact on my career and loss of earnings.

Are you in the UK? If so, this will never happen

Regulation 50 is what you must focus on. Although the child benefit can be relevant that only applies in the absence of any other evidence. Despite this CMS continue to misapply this, and treat child benefit as some sort of tie breaker.

Don’t focus on mediation. Challenge the CMS assessment. First ask for a mandatory reconsideration and when that inevitably fails appeal to the Lower Tier tribunal.

I literally saw this happen in court last Monday. It’s not the first time either.

Hi mate. First time poster. Also UK. Im in the exact same position and have been for 7 years. Equal nights over 14 days. School runs, pick ups, clothes, food, living.
Did you ever get to the bottom of this? Im still paying. CMS dont listen to a word I've said or tried to prove. I've been to mediation and court over other things and told that our 50/50 verbal arrangement is in corr3ct but never had a court order.