NC parent and inheritance, what to do?

[Clarasmum444]

I'll try and keep this short....
I haven't spoken to my parents for the last 6 months. The favouritism in my family got too much and it was started to happen to my dd and I couldn't sit back and see that happen. I don't want her to accept the scraps like I have my whole life.
My lovely grandad who i was close to recently died and has left me a lot of money, enough to change my life. HOWEVER the executor of the will is one of my parents who I know for a fact won't pass the money on to me unless I contact them, they didnt even tell me about the funeral, i had to hear it from someone who isnt part of the family. I just don't know what to do? I have no idea what solicitor my grandad used or anything like that... Everyone keeps telling me to suck it up and contact them but its taken me a lot to get to this point of nc only to go back to square one.

An executor of a will legally has to enact the will don't they? If you can afford it and you are certain that you are due what you say, I would be engaging a solicitor who can act on your behalf?

Why don’t you instruct a solicitor to write to your NC parent asking for a copy of the will? Means you’ve got a human shield and might stop them buggering about…

Snap @Icedlatteofdreams 🤣

It's not a choice that the executor has. They legally have to carry out the wishes of the person who's died, as set out in their Will.

Good advice to instruct a solicitor - keep it business like and transactional.

you might be better to move this to legal. You have a legal problem you want resolved, the relationship with your parents is just noise around that. I assume you don’t want advice on how to manage the relationship - just ensure your grandfather’s wishes are honored.

I am sorry for your loss.

@Bellyblueboy thank you, I didn't even think of posting it in legal!!!

I would advise get a solicitors letter asking for details.

If they don’t contact you in a timely fashion then instruct a solicitor as suggested. Keep your eyes on the prize ( sorry to sound mercenary) and then sack them off forever

Do not suck it up and contact your parents under any circumstances.

I would instruct your own Solicitor to act on your behalf. The executors have to carry out the wishes exactly as laid out in the will and testament.

Yep lawyer up.

They can contact the executor and force them to follow the terms of the will.

I dint know how stubborn your parents are but it’s quite possible just receiving a legal letter will be enough to behave as they should.

@Clarasmum444 I agree get a solicitor to write but first try to obtain a copy of the grant of probate and will. If it’s not published you can fill in a standing search form https://www.gov.uk/search-will-probate#:~:text=Download%20and%20fill%20in%20form,(if%20there%20is%20one).

I had a similar situation not so long ago.

The executor has a year to sort out the estate before distributing inheritance to the beneficiaries. They are supposed to keep you updated and be transparent about the estate. You can request to see a copy of the will. Once probate has been granted the will becomes a public document anyway. Probate can take a while depending on the complexity of the estate.

I agree that you should appoint a solicitor to deal with this for you. A family law person would be best. Explain that you are NC and don't want to get drawn into any drama which is why you are appointing them.

Re-establishing contact with NC parents who have a history of poor behaviour towards you would probably be a horrible mistake.

Condolences on the loss of your grandad.

How do you actually know he has left you anything?
As someone else has suggested, all you need to do is apply for a copy of probate and his will - it will tell you how much his estate is worth and who the beneficiaries are. It’ll only cost you a few £ and you could do it right now.

take the money, lady, and rub your NC relatives their noses