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Going to court for contact order

2 replies

Catladystace · 09/09/2024 20:14

Hi. I’m waiting to go to court with my ex, he’s “had enough” of working around my work rota. I work with children in care so work shifts overnight twice a week on a rota pattern. For the last 2 years he’s typically had them whilst I’ve worked and it hasn’t been a problem. Now we’ve split up and he’s got a new g/f it’s a huge issue, more about control really. Hes already let me down so I’ve had to use annual leave or not go into work during the school holidays. I’ve got no family help at all so heavily rely on him having the children whilst I work. First he wanted set days, then when I got set days at work that wasn’t good enough he now wants 1 week on 1 week off. He thinks I should quit my job or go part time so he doesn’t have to collect the children from school or take them as he works on site (for his parents business) so has to leave early or he looses money. Half the time his parents collect the children for him anyway. My worry is that the courts may say he can have them for 1 week then I have them for 1 week. Has anyone experienced this? It really won’t work. I’ll never be able to work and I think that’s his plan because he also wants us out of the house asap so we can sell it but I’m in no position to do that. He’s trying to make my life hell.
ive been sending him my rota for the last few months and now he’s saying it doesn’t work for him, he’s sent me a rota which his solicitor has suggested and it’s 1 week with him 1 week with me, he buggered off on holiday last week and didn’t tell me or the children, he won’t have seen them for 3 weeks when he returns. He’s been messaging my daughter who’s 10, saying it’s may fault they couldn’t go on holiday as he wanted them there. I knew nothing about it. It’s such a mess and the poor children are pretty much being emotionally abused by him. Any advice welcome please

OP posts:
Doltontweedle · 09/09/2024 20:20

The courts will try to rule what’s best for the children. Get evidence of EVERYTHING. Particularly you bending over backwards again and again while he constantly changes the goalposts. It’s pretty clear he’s trying to sabotage your career and make your life difficult. I will say that from what I’ve experienced, a judge will not always accept a changing/rolling rota as that can make it difficult if the other parent has set days. Your managing to get set days and then him changing his mind comes across as fucking ridiculous quite frankly. I’d be fairly confident that a judge with an iota of common sense can see your suggestion is far more reasonable, and it is not in the children’s best interests for their dad to demand week on week off contact just so that their mum has to lose her job.

Catladystace · 09/09/2024 21:57

See I was hoping that having set days would be better as that’s what he originally wanted so he knows what days he has to collect children from school etc. it works so that we share 2 weekends and have 1 whole weekend each with the children. It’s really fair I think. I haven’t got a solicitor though as I can’t afford one. I earn too much to get help with costs but not enough to pay for solicitor on top of the monthly outgoings so he will instantly have the upper hand which worries me

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