Divorce

[Notsurewhatiswhat]

Hi all

My wife and I married in August 2015 and separated in December 2021. We agreed that we would divorce in January 2022 and shortly after started divorce proceedings.

We have tried mediation but couldn’t come to a mutually satisfactory agreement.

Today I received a letter from her solicitor with a proposal that seems very unreasonable.

Background: We have 2 children together, aged 9 and 7. I work full time and earn £56,500 a year, £3400 a month take home.
My ex works 4 days over 5. Her take home salary is £2400 a month.
The current child care arrangement is that I have them Friday evening until Sunday at 18:30. This counts as 2 nights for child maintenance purposes.

The matrimonial home is valued at £850k with a mortgage of £250k. Her parents have contributed £250k towards this as gifts. We have a deed of trust that says she will receive the first £250k of the house equity with the rest split 55:45 in her favour.

Her pension pot is valued at £40k and she is 42. Mine is valued at £280k and I am 47.

The proposal is that after costs, she receives £450k of the house sale and I receive £93k.

Our pensions are split to give us equal income at retirement.

I pay her £471 child maintenance per month and £700 spousal maintenance.

All items purchased together during the relationship transfer to her ownership.

As far as I can work out she will have £3741 income per month (£2400 salary, £170 child benefit, £471 child maintenance and £700) spousal maintenance. The letter says that she would need to get a £100k mortgage.

On the other hand, I would have £2229 income a month (£3400 less £471 and £700). I would require a mortgage of at least £200k after my deposit. This is an amount I couldn’t borrow based on that income.

Does it sound realistic that a court would agree this to be fair?

My proposal to her during mediation was that she keep the first £250k of the house. The remainder being split 50:50. We would both keep our pensions. She only missed 3 months of pension contributions for each child and has an extra 5 years for her pension to build up.

Grateful for any advice as I cannot see how I could possibly house my children on this income.

Don't know why you are paying spousal maintenance. Your salary isn't that high. You shouldn't be paying any spousal maintenance IMHO,

No court is going to deem that as fair, no. I wouldn’t even waste time worrying about it, you won’t have to pay spousal maintenance for a start.

I wouldn't advise a paying client on the strength of the information contained in this post. You really ought to pay for some advice from someone you know is a family law solicitor.

Spousal support? Eh no wouldn't be doing that xxx

Couldn't go through all the sums but two things stand out ... spousal maintenance is unusual as your wife has a job, how long is this to be for and is this in the UK? Higher level of child support would be more usual.

Likewise, why are you looking to share pensions, you've actually had a short marriage, and most of the pensions were gained before you got together.

She is trying her luck (chancer). Get a solicitor. Child maintenance is not arranged via courts but through the child maintenance service. Even if you both agree and the judge adds it to the order, It can be overridden after a year. You have similar salaries—no spousal maintenance. She needs to work full time. Regarding housing, she is in a very good position to house herself and the children with her ring-fenced 250k plus 55 of the remaining equity. You are not. The judge will try to both of you to be able to get a house if at all possible. Regarding pensions, it is a shortish marriage, the judge will probably order each one to keep their own pots.

Thanks everyone, I just needed to gauge people’s view whilst I am waiting to see a solicitor. If that is what a judge determined to be fair I wouldn’t know what to do.

They have a 9 year old so it’s not a ‘short’ relationship.

Pensions are usually equalised on retirement - you may need an actuary to prepare a report.

Spousal maintenance seems unlikely to be awarded.

As for the likely split you should get advice.

Why are you giving her spousal maintenance. There is no need for this. Use the CMS website to work out the child maintenance you owe, and don’t give her any more than that.

Spousal maintenance isn't much of a thing these days

She would only have a case for spousal maintenance in limited circumstances like she’s almost finished her degree so needs temporary support or can’t move house until kids finish exams so needs extra money to stay in catchment.

Spousal support is for very high earners so you wouldn’t be forced to path that.

Use an online child maintenance calculator to see what the CMS would have ordered you to pay. That will be a starting point for you to judge how much child maintenance to pay.

Solicitor’s letters do not carry the legal weight that some people think. She could ask a solicitor to write a letter to you request 99% of the equity and 80% of your salary and they would because the solicitor is getting money from your ex to write that letter and if you reply to the solicitor then they can charge your ex to read it and compose a reply. Somebody on here received a solicitor’s letter demanding that she change her surname to her maiden name because the new wife didn’t like that ex wife kept the surname. Bonkers right?

It’s good that you’re taking legal advice.