Grandparent Access

[Ynot68]

Hiya , just after some advice or if anyone has gone through the same. Will keep it as brief as I can.

basically one half of our grandparents are about to start some form of legal proceedings to see our 2 kids. They are very controlling , unpleasant & all has to be on there terms. They have seen our kids for 4 and a half hours in the last 84 days , and a total of 28 hours in the past 12 months.. should we have ANY concerns if this goes further as we have decided to deny access. Thank you

My understanding is that grandparents do have rights to access to their grandchildren but it's quite complex. My sister was advised (legally) not to deny all access to them unless there were VERY good reasons not too essentially safety concerns, especially whilst the children were young enough to not have their own opinions. The reason she was given is that the court could force access but if she was seen as 'reasonable' then the grandparents would be unlikely to get more access. She facilitates 1 meeting every 6-8 weeks, always somewhere public, like the park for a picnic or if the children have a concert/play/presentation invites to that. It means the grandparents don't get too much influence as the children are off playing/doing whatever but she's ticked the box to say access/relationship building is allowed. Children are now 5 and 7 and this has been going on for a coupl of years.

I think it tends to favour grandparents that play a consistent role in their children’s life.

Assume that you are in the UK, but this isn't obvious from your post.
As a previous poster states in the UK there are no legal rights as such. The only scenario where they may have a case is if they have been full-time sole carers for the children in the past.
You also haven't said how far away they live. When our dcs were younger it was typically an afternoon every 1-2 months for the gps that lived an hour away and twice a year for 2-3 days for gps that were a 5 hour drive away.

I wouldn't be concerned unless in the past they were major care givers and/or this is following a relationship split and you are refusing access to ex's family. Courts rarely get involved

Sorry for that , they live a 5 minute car journey away. They have never had my 4 and a half year old son for a sleepover , Infact they have had their other grandchild (who is 11) once for a sleepover in the last 6 years. I do understand there is a possibility of a form of “family mediator” but I can’t see how this isn’t laughed at afterwards

Grandparents are only likely to be given access if they have played a major role in the child's life. If the court doesn't go their way, which is unlikely unless they have played a major role, you would be able to deny them access henceforth, it's a bit of an all or nothing situation I believe.

I don't mean sleepovers by main full-time carer. I mean the type of grandparents that have to take on care for their grandchildren on a long term basis often for months or years at a time, while the parents are not able to look after the children at all.

But how could they of if you didnt let them?