Joint Power of Attorney with mentally ill sister

[SaltySeaMaiden]

Our 88 year old dad has been diagnosed with incurable advanced terminal cancer. My sister and I will have joint Power of Attorney once he passes away or becomes incapacitated. We will be seeing the family solicitor next week to talk over the situation and put measures in place. My sister (aged 63) is bipolar, and the upset of our dad's diagnosis has sent her into a manic phase. She hasn't had an episode for ten years, but this is a bad one and it could last for six months or more. More than likely, she will be this way when our father passes away, and his death will be even more stress for her. How does her condition affect me being able to handle the finances etc? She may get even worse as he progresses. Can I proceed with what needs to be done (selling the house, funeral finances) if she is incapacitated, AWOL, or changes her mind about selling the house? (I am financially stable, she is not, but the house has 6 bedrooms and she couldn't pay the bills to run it) I love my sister dearly, but at the moment she is lost to the mania, and incapable of even having a normal serious conversation. Obviously I will be discussing this with the solicitor, but I am hoping someone can give me an idea of what can be done. Our father is very upset by his daughter's deteriorating mental health and I am increasingly stressed and concerned about what lies ahead. She is very intelligent and doesn't miss a beat. She currently gets extremely upset and angry if her mental health is mentioned (even in the kindest way) or if she is gently asked to calm down, so we are tip-toeing around her.

POA ceases on a person's death. Post your father's death, do you mean that you are joint executors of his estate?

Check the documentation and see whether your father decided that his attorneys must always act “jointly” I.e., make decisions together or “jointly and severally” I.e., some decisions can be made independently. Your solicitor will be able to tell you and advise what it means. I’m allowed to make decisions independently for my Dad, even though my auntie is also an attorney. There may also not be exceptions if an attorney is too unwell to act.

As @AlohaRose , the POA will cease once he passes away.

If your sis lacks capacity she needs to be removed from the POA or, as a minimum, you need to make sure you have to act jointly.

If they have to act jointly, op will need her sister’s agreement to act.

Who is the executor of his estate? Your father can still make decisions himself now, your problem would be when he has passed if you are joint executors. Your dad could change that potentially.

Point taken.

Looking at it the other way if the can act severally the sister can do unwise things with her father's money.

Assuming Dad has capacity now he needs to revoke the current LPA and make a new one for OP singly or, and this may be better, a professional Attorney.

Thank you for your replies. My father doesn't want to upset my sister by leaving her out of decisions. He is in denial about how bad she actually is. He is pretty deaf, so doesn't hear a lot of the verbal nonsense she's coming out with. When he passes away, we get half each of his estate (worth approx £800k) and the plan always was that my sister would be able to buy somewhere instead of renting. She is wildly extravagant when high like this, and gives what little she has away, and buys strange things. I am hoping that by the time she gets the money, she will have passed through this phase, but there's no guarantee. Ultimately I can't cure her or control what she does. She is kind and sensible when not manic and I have no business telling her what to do. It's her money. My main problem is if she refuses to cooperate over the financial decisions that have already been made (primarily selling the house) can I act independently with the help and cooperation of the solicitor? She may want to live in it and has been known to invite people she's just met to live with her.

To clarify, after our dad's death, we are joint executors. I don't know if I can act independently, but if I can, then so could she which could be ruinous. Clearly, these are the things I need to find out, so thank you for mentioning them. I need to speak to the solicitor without my sister there, but perhaps he is the one to find a solution which would temporarily protect my sister from herself. My dad is frail and deaf, but still capable of making decisions for himself.

My DH and his brother are both executors of his will. He passed away in April. My DH is dealing with everything. His DB said he didn't want any responsibility and my DH was delighted. He feels he can't trust his DB to act in a sensible and timely manner.

Can you get you sister to go with you to the solicitor and say she'd rather you dealt with everything? Both PoA and executor. Although hopefully you can act independently as a PoA (which as others have said ceases with death).

If the PoA situation is manageable during your Father's lifetime and there's no danger of your sister doing ill advised stuff with his money then maybe you're OK.

As to his estate your Father is the testator and it's him who needs advice. In his shoes I'd remove her and perhaps for the sake of family peace you too and appoint somebody outside the family and probably a professional.

He might also want to take steps so that your sisters share cannot pass into her hands where it will slip through her fingers. You might need advice on whether now, or later, the Court of Protection should be involved and a Deputy appointed for your sister.

My partner of 40+ years had a sister with Bi-Polar and I've met both personally and professionally several other people with it. You have my wholehearted sympathy in dealing with this!!

So much incorrect info on this thread

It would be helpful if you could be specific as to which posts/info are wrong.

@Bromptotoo re acting jointly, talking to dad to remove sister (opening up claims for inability for undue influence) for a start

@NeedSomeAnswersPlease

Unless you're reading something about disinheriting sis and leaving the lot to the OP I think undue influence is wide of the mark.

Surely most families, particularly where there is serious health condition affecting mental capacity, would discuss stuff like who was to be the executor of the will of a parent. We certainly had that 'chat' with my partner's Mother.

What exactly has been siad about acting jointly that is wrong?

@NeedSomeAnswersPlease Well no one knows the exact wording of the POA or the Will.

That’s why the OP is very sensibly getting legal advice now so that her sister can be protected if she’s too ill to act as an Executor, for example.