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10 year old doesn't want to see dad anymore

3 replies

DaisyG20 · 15/08/2024 20:46

We've been in and out of court her whole life, ex is impossible to coparent with and has been convicted of abusing me.

She broke down a few months ago and no longer wants to see him, she's told SS, the police and school the same. SS are doing a section 7.

He's extremely abusive and manipulative with her, shouting at her if she doesn't want to see him, telling her she has no choice but to see him, threatening to show up at our house or her school to collect her anyway even though she's said no and is terrified. I had to collect her from school once as the school called saying ex was on his way, DD didn't want to see him and was getting distressed and they didn't want things escalating.

Court have been horrendous, empowering him and seeing him as the victim and no matter what he does it's brushed under the carpet and it's implied it's my fault. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Don't stop contact I'm not safeguarding her, stop contact and I've breached court orders and he takes me for enforcement.

I know family courts are a mess. I'm devastated there aren't even any special measures like screens or remote hearings, I asked for support in court or to appear remotely and was told I'd have to get his permission. Playing straight into his hands.

School noticed DD wasn't herself around when things exploded and contact was stopped, she's now calmer and happier and has said to SS she doesn't want any contact at all.

Would judges listen to her at 10? He also shouts and screams if he's not getting his way in court (which triggers me and I turn to jelly) and usually manages to get his way by kicking off and the judges order contact I'm expected to force DD into.

OP posts:
Lemonychocolate · 15/08/2024 22:43

Sorry you've been through this. In short, yes they will listen to a 10 years old. But her words won't have the same weight as an older child sadly.
When you said he's been convicted, were you assigned an idva or referred to women's aid etc.? Any special measures in place? They are normally very helpful

DaisyG20 · 16/08/2024 05:09

Without being too outing, it went to court and he was convicted and I was given a RO for 3 years.

OP posts:
Thinkingabouttherapy · 16/08/2024 10:51

Having watched a (male) friend be alienated from his child’s life by her mother, I’m wary of commenting on situations like this.

How much contact has your DD had with him over the past 5 years?

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