Parental Alienation

[ContactNightmare]

Posting here as previously received some useful advice on child contact matters.

Currently having a hellish time with ex. DD13 declared she didn’t want to see him and disclosed abuse. This went to the police but no further action. SS recommended no contact.

But now I’m being taken to court to enforce the court order by ex for contact and he’s claiming I’ve alienated her from him.

This is my nightmare - the more concerned I act, the more it looks like I’m preventing him from building a relationship.

Does anyone have any experience of this? I have a lawyer now but want to understand how this can play out. I am desperately worried. All I did was act on SS advice.

Oh sometimes they don't give great advice. But if your dd is 13 she can't be forced to see him if she doesn't want to, she's not 3 & if she doesn't want to see him & she's made that decision without you, then I don't know if there's anything anyone can do.
If it's private family court they'll sometimes expect parents to support & encourage contact, but if there is a history of abuse they may look into the facts of this with a fact finding hearing to establish what actually happened & what evidence there is.
But it's all shit really sorry to be pessimistic but honestly that system is a big mess & I'm very sorry you're going through this.

My problem is that DD13 seems very disturbed and said she would kill herself - I couldn’t reasonably say yes! I suppose all of her psychiatric needs will come out. This is real hell

Hold tight. If there is a police report (albeit with NFA) and SS have recommended no contact then the courts are less likely to jump to alienating behaviours and are more likely to support SS recommendations. Although I don't think you can do anything to stop her mental health issues being raised during the case.

He knows. He was told about her suicidal feelings. He just says he should have contact. It’s like a parallel universe.

Thanks for responses. It feels a bit better

Have you got the recommended no contact in writing?

If you haven't get it in writinv, take a copy, take and electronic copy. Store it in it a fire proof box

Don't rely on ss to not do a rapid u-turn if you haven't got it in writing to stop contact

Yes. In a long report with a lot of nasty conclusions as to the risk presents. My lawyer has a copy.

SS and police told me to stop contact. DD was running away from contact, if I could get her there at all. Court said it was parental alienation and that I was telling DD to run away.

I had to have a five hour psychiatric evaluation, which cost thousands - and they said that they couldn't draw any conclusions, but because the children were close to each other, it didn't matter who they lived with.

Cafcass told DD if she didn't see daddy, mummy would go to prison and she would never see me again.

We ended up with a 50:50 order until the age of 18, because PA meant the children would never be competent of making an informed decision.

My god. This is what I mean. You hear these dreadful outcomes. 5 hours? Unbelievable