has anyone become successful moving country with their children?

[girlmum28]

Hi, although ive been a member for a while and this is my first post so bear with me.

I split from my girls dad 2 years 3 months ago. It wasnt a good relationship for me to be in but he does love his children hence i stayed with him for 9years.
But he was emotionally abusive/still is. i have certain things in place to deal with that. Although im not looking to move in the immediate future it is my intention.

my eldest is 9 and my youngest is three (special needs) and they have both lived with me since the split. Im not trying to move to cause any issues, its poursly for mine/theirs future and with that in mind moving is what i feel would make me happier\more secure future.

We live in the UK right now and im hoping in the next couple of years to move to Orlando. My boyfriend Is now a citizen out there and owns his own home. We have been together on and off for two years but the last year we have been stable. We travel back and fourth and right now whilst that works, it wont be a forever situation.

Whilst we arent married (yet) we want to make our future together.
the girls see their dad every other weekend and he sees the eldest every week on a tuesday. He makes less effort with our youngest as she is harder work and he struggles to cope with her and her needs. He refuses to have them for any length of time, so no holidays other than those weekends and the expectational here and there on his terms. America has so much to offer for Autistic children and the lack of support we have here, the resources, school spaces for SEN children is devastating. So whilst my personal life is a driving force so is the future of my SN daughter. I will also have a job lined by via my boyfrend who owns his own business and a stable home to provide.

i know my ex certainly will not agree. I have been very easy and open with trying to co parent which he is unable to do. i will also take him and the girls into consideration but for many reasons i think our life would be a million times better there. I would ensure contact was kept like it is now, and also come for visits and happy to add the weekends in days and offer those days to him in chunks.

Has anyone been successful? im not looking for opinions just help and advice. Weve been through a lot and this is just a brief summery. thanks mums!

You do seem to investing a lot in your new one and off boyfriend which has been more stable lately....

They have a good relationship with their father. ..will they resent you for separating them? Are you prepared for that?

What if your new boyfriend is less stable once you move. Youre totally dependent on him for everything including your job?

Seems bit too soon i think to be sure its stable enough before ripping everything away from your supoort network and that of your children's

Not a chance in hell of a judge agreeing. I'd hope not anyway. Everything, your home, your income, your visa is dependant on the boyfriend - no judge would move settled children to live in such an unstable environment. At the very least you'd need a job from an employer who is not your bf to show stability.

I think it’s highly unlikely that’ll be able to move your children to the US without their father’s permission. Please get proper legal advice, but I think it would be considered child abduction.

Have you looked into the visa process yet? It’s a rigmarole (we did it years ago, my DH is American). It’ll take a while if you do get his permission.

No chance a judge will allow this. And how would you get / afford healthcare for a SEN child? But, you won't get that far anyway.

It’s not going to happen, OP. It would be one thing if you were originally from the US and returning would mean the support and bonds of your DC’s family - although even then, courts would still be very reluctant to allow such a move away form an involved father: I have an American friend who was unsuccessful with her application to relocate with her daughter without her father’s approval, despite a return to the US being about a large extended family there for them.

But proposing that you remove your DC from the country they’ve lived in all their lives, away from their father, extended family, friends, schools and routines to live with a boyfriend of yours who they barely know and who none of you have never lived with before - there’s not a chance any court will see that as being in their best interests when they have a good relationship with the their father here.

If you’ve never lived in or raised children in the US you have no idea how to navigate the education and health systems. Support for disability and SEN varies hugely within school districts and depending on what your health insurance is prepared to fund. Stating that “America has so much to offer autistic children” is incredibly naive, as is the pie in the sky idea that your boyfriend will just give you a job at his business and you’ll be an American and all will be hunky dory: I’m married to a US citizen and it absolutely isn’t anywhere near as simple to obtain residency rights or citizenship as you seem to think it is.

How utterly selfish. Your ex sees your dc regularly and you're considering moving to the other side of the world with them, with a man who you already have a history of being 'on/off' (despite it being a new relationship!!)
Your poor dc 🙁

Thankfully you'll be handed your arse in court and rightly so.

To be honest the only, very rare, cases I’ve seen where this has been allowed, the applicant parent has been essentially returning “home”. To their family, their children’s wider family, native language, etc. I’ve never seen it allowed when it’s a move to a new place that the children don’t have any links to.