Advice on family court

[calmbeforethestorm19]

Hi I was looking some advice. I'm 25 and my daughter's father is 24. She's 4 and her father has been having contact with her for a while now. He used to take her overnight at the weekends and once during the week . It used to go well but the last few months he has been out partying and hasn't showed up for her a lot since March. Contact broke down as he wasn't showing up didn't call text or nothing so she didn't go to his house. In April I received a solicitors letter stating he wanted contact again. I got onto a solicitor and she dealt with his solicitor so I woudont have to have any contact with my daughters father at all. Contact started again in may . It was going good until June he didn't show up again a few times So I said that's it he's not seeing her again I messaged him and said that's it you can't be picking and choosing when it suits you! A week after that my solicitor received an email from his solicitor stating that he was going for a contact order. I told my solicitor to ignore him and his solicitor. My daughter's father has no parental rights over my daughter and is not named on her birth certificate. So he can't go for a contact order with no PR. It's been 6 weeks since he last seen her and since my solicitor ignored his solicitors email. If he was going to court to try and get PR would I not have heard word by now that he's got PR and is going for a contact order? We've heard not a thing. On Monday evening he blocked me of what's app this is where we did the communicating. I was thinking maybe his solicitor told him to block me and have no contact while he was pushing for PR and a contact order in the background. I live in Northern Ireland and I'm not sure of the process but if he was going for PR or had obtained them would I not have been notified by now and if he was pushing for a contact order ? It's been 6 weeks I'm just wondering and looking advice as I'm not sure of the whole process ..thanks

Not sure if it’s different where you are but in England he would have to apply via court and to be fair it could take longer than 6 weeks, so it may just still be in the works

Oh no:( what factors does a judge consider when granting PR

In England (may be diff where you are) they consider whether dad has shown sufficient commitment to the child to justify PR (the bar for this is very low though, even some contact would probably be enough), they also consider the level of attachment between father and child, and his reasons for applying for PR - the fact he’d be doing it in order to gain contact would likely go in his favour there.

In England it is much more likely than not that the courts will grant an unmarried biological father PR. Even if they don’t give the contact order, they usually give PR as it gives the status of fatherhood, they lean towards this because the courts view is that it’s beneficial to a child to have both parents. Unless you have evidence/concerns of abuse, neglect etc

Oh no I don't want him having any Pr at all.. when will I be notified if he gets them? Do I be at all? I know where I live is diff than England but in general there how long does it take

Does your child want to see him?

She hasn't asked about him once... so I don't honestly think so I didn't say to her she doesn't mention him at all

Unfortunately as her father and a father who has repeatedly asked for contact, unless you have serious genuine concerns of abuse etc, he will most likely be granted PR by the court even if that is not your wish. Being flakey with contact isn’t enough to deprive him of PR or contact.

You should get notification from the court if/when he applies, with a form to fill out yourself.

PR & contact orders can take 6-12 months here, initial hearings usually much sooner than that though.

He has a criminal record for sending me death threats while I was pregnant with her that's the only thing ..

And haven't received anything from court to say he's trying to get them well it's only been 6 weeks I suppose

You can bring that up, but if you’ve been allowing your child unsupervised contact with him before now then his argument will be that you clearly don’t deem there to be any threat and the court will not find evidence to substantiate the worry enough to deny PR if he has had this unsupervised contact before now

Unless you can prove your child is at risk the courts will grant contact. It could be much more than if you agreed between you. Could you offer him something like 1 day every other weekend? Assume he's not going to turn up and bonus if he does?

While he's going through court is he not allowed to have contact with me at all

Which court proceedings are these?

No court proceedings as yet but if he is going

Through the family court

There’s no rule to say he’s not allowed contact with you while applying for PR etc, but his solicitor may well have advised him not to if it’s going down the court route anyway

So how did you communicate with him and do handovers in the past?

We communicated on what's app. But on Monday evening I noticed he had blocked me on what's app which made me think he was instructed to do so by his solicitor

I'm so confused. So if you were in communication after he was convicted for threatening you, and nothing has happened since, why is he not allowed to contact you now?

Honestly, family courts are brutal. They will make your relationship with him so much worse and you may well be annihilated by the judge for refusing contact when you've allowed unsupervised in the past and he's not shown any risky behaviours when with your child. I'd try and sort something out between the both of you.

That's what I'm saying I'm confused too.. I'm assuming he's not allowed contact with me if he's going through the court I was thinking he was maybe instructed to block me.. now I have no way of communicating with him at all

He is allowed to contact you he's just choosing not to.

He blocked me Monday evening out of no where that's why I'm saying maybe he was instructed to have no contact while pushing for child access but didn't think that' was a rule

That's stupid him choosing not to contact me.. if he was to gain access we would need some sort of contact? Hes just childish doing that then .. I would think

Even the biggest cunts get access op. And the fact you have volunteered access for periods shows you have no real concerns about his capabilities...
Yanbu to want a proper schedule... A judge wil expect he has been paying cms and will take a dim view of he hasn't. But will still grant access regardless.. Your dc isn't pay per view. Or at risk it seems.

The family court does stink in a way. If we were to come to an arrangement now how would it even be possible if hes already applied for PR and then onto a contact order