Child Arrangement Order - Section 8

[Alsy08]

After advice regarding a Child Arrangement order that has been in place since 2020. My son turns 16 this year.
My ex lives in Kent and I live in Somerset. My son resides with me and the order was set for EOW and half the holidays, but that part was always sporadic!
I also explained that as my son gets older that he would want more flexibility and that this had to be taken into consideration (this is in the court order)

My son turns 16 on 12/08 and is currently staying with his dad. His dad has told him that the court order is in place until he’s 18 🤔 I’ve already had confirmation from my solicitor that the order no longer stands once he turns 16. I’ve seen the section 8 info from the children’s Act 1989.

This has now caused great confusion. Has anybody else had this ridiculous situation? He starts college in September, has a new girlfriend and wants to get a job.

He still wants contact with his dad but not EOW etc. His dad also pays a reduced amount that he pays for travel etc and just wondering if this is why he is saying this to his son?

Has anybody been in a similar situation and got any advice? Just really feeling frustrated for my son and want clarification without causing any conflict.

Thank you for reading (sorry for the long post, I’ve rejoined after a long time)

He's 16, he can do what he wants. There is no possible way to enforce a court order. In any case you're correct that the contact element of a CAO should end when the child turns 16.

Just to add that I did not put forward for this Child Arrangement court order it was my ex 🤔

Thank you for your post. Alsy 😊

My ex still creates a contact planner and as always there is no flexibility at all for me. Our DC will be 19 this month! They only go along with it as their dad bought them a car and pays for insurance. I've been clear for years that they are free to come and go as they please. If I book something in I let DC know and they arrange to be with me then. Family Court has no idea how controlling these men try to be.

I think I’m just trying to work out why his dad thinks it’s 18? My ex is very controlling and think he possibly still needs that control and this is why he has said this to my son.

Is it even worth contacting the court for clarification or is this something that they won’t even look at? I just want my son to be reassured in this situation.

Within the order was for us to communicate via Ourfamilywizard and the last message to my ex was never replied to……I rest my case slightly 😂 so have decided not to re subscribe. However, I will still have all the content available.

do you have a copy ?
if so, make another copy and send it to him

maybe he really does believe it is 18
and maybe he has mislaid his copy

At 12 my ds went nc with his df and we had a court order....

I think social services told me that ours was until dc are 18. In reality no court is going to force a 16 year old to do what it says.

The lives with element expires at 18 I think. But as you say it's irrelevant what the order says once the child reaches 14/15 and can make their own decisions.

Yes I do have a copy. He also has a copy which I uploaded and referred to on many occasions on the OFW app which we had to use within the court order.

Let’s hope he looks it up properly and realises that it isn’t 18. Thanks for the advice, think I will send a further copy once my son is back from his time with him, don’t want to cause any conflict whilst he is with his dad.

Its been difficult for him to have these conversations with his dad, including staying with me during his GCSE exams 😬

A judge would have listened to what he wanted at a younger age (around age 12)

Check what it says on the order. CAO - spends time with orders are generally 16 unless it specifies 18, which is usually if there's a safeguarding element where it's doing things like mandated that contact be supervised.

Unfortunately we had the hearing during Covid and so I had to put my son’s views forward which I definitely did including having flexibility, this is in the court order.

It doesn’t specify age on the court order. There are no safeguarding elements whatsoever. I just can’t work out why his dad has come to the assumption of 18. This has caused great confusion for my son.

I think that the live with element is correct as you say. That part is he lives with me, however if he chose to move out I wouldn’t stop him (my ❤️ might be hugely broken)

My son is very kind hearted and has a much better relationship with his dad now as he’s older. I don’t want him to be taken advantage of by his dad. I want him to make his own decisions and he really doesn’t want to go every other weekend and given his college course, he’ll be doing things at weekends and wants to get a part time job, plus a new girlfriend in the equation.

Realistically, the court isn't going to force a 16yo to go to contact EOW and your EXH needs to recognise that your son is a young person/emerging adult with a life that is different to when he was 12.

Absolutely, this is exactly what I think. It’s been a difficult conversation that he’s had with his dad. But so glad that he’s done it. I just received a message late last night from my son saying that did I get the age wrong with the court order…..because his dad says it’s 18 and all along I’ve told him it’s 16 and also had an email from my solicitor for clarification. It just frustrates me because he wants to move on with his young life of course & I 💯 want to support him with this without his dad causing any issues. Thank you for your advice.

Is it because he won't want to pay cms for 2 years I wonder....

He will still have to pay as my son will be going to college for 2 years. It’s more that he’ll have to pay more CMS on his £50,000 a year salary because his contact won’t be EOW. He struggles at having to pay anything in all honesty 😬

oh ! I was just about to come on and say about CMS and see @Sunshineafterthehail beat me to it !

Yes you’re right, he won’t want to pay any more if he doesn’t have our son EOW and holidays etc….he’ll have to pay more because he gets money for his travel currently.

The whole system is ridiculous and unfair. I’m currently unable to work and no longer getting paid and going to lose my job.

The PP who said the lives with part of the order expires at 18 is correct. The "contact" part of the order expires on the 16th birthday.

Lucy Reed has a useful blog on this:
www.pinktape.co.uk/rants/how-long-does-a-child-arrangements-order-last/#:~:text=No%20court%20shall%20make%20a,of%20the%20case%20are%20exceptional.

Thank you for sharing the blog, very interesting 😊