I'll try and keep this succinct where possible. At the moment I have a non molestation order out against my ex partner. The non mol has a clause in it which allows him to contact me via email only to arrange seeing his daughter.. which he doesn't do. His sister and mum do reach out and ask how she is, I talk to them briefly to let them know how DD is doing and send photos. What i'm wanting to do is to go to court to obtain a 'live-with' order. He's been absent from her life pretty much since we split 2 years ago. I have never restricted access but after many failed attempts over the years of asking "when are you seeing her?" and "would you like to see her saturday or sunday, or when works best for you?" I gave up asking as was constantly ignored or knocked back. The non mol was due to abuse from him towards me, he's never had an interest in his daughter, he just purely loves to torment and scare me.
Over the course of our relationship and post-relationship there have been 7 instances where I have called the police, and police reports were filed. The final time, they went into his home and confiscated marijuana. I know he has a prolific drink and drug problem. He also as present, has no fixed abode, no job (lost it due to alcohol and drugs) and is sofa surfing.
I'm looking to get a live-with order, just to have something in place that she is to (continue) living with me, which will allow me to take her on family holidays too (I sent 2 emails to ask him for permission and I didn't get a reply). I want to take my girl abroad and make lovely memories without worry or stress. And i'm also looking at asking for a double-barrel surname. I don't think it would be fair to remove his surname, but I think it's fair considering I raise her alone, for her to have surnames to reflect both parents. I don't wish to ever restrict access and that channel of communication (email) or otherwise when the non-mol gets lifted next year (all being well), will always be open for him to spend time with her. His mum and I have agreed should he wish to do so, she would be present to do supervised visits with him. My mum has also offered to do supervised visits.
Do you think in the eyes of the court this is unreasonable on my part? I'm pretty anxious and scared about the process. I don't want the judge to think i'm being malicious or trying to stop him seeing her - far from that.