How can you divorce someone when they won’t turn up for court?

[Helpwithdivorce]

Help please. Divorce finalised. Has been for over 12 months. I know I can divorce but I need the financial order sorted and to buy him out of the house. I’m not looking for some silly settlement. I’m giving him 50% of the house (only asset) pensions are the same. No savings on either side.
Everything set up for the order. Been to court twice. He hasn’t shown up twice. No comeuppance for him. He doesn’t care about money. Only control. This is his last bit of control and I know he won’t turn up again. I’ve spent thousands trying to divorce him and get this sorted. Court again in 2 months. How can you divorce someone when they don’t turn up??
What am I supposed to do? Never get divorced? Never get his name off my house? I’m so so stuck and I can’t afford to spend thousands more money trying to get out of this mess. Please help

I've divorced three times and never had to go to court. Can't your respective solicitors sort it between them?

I thought you could only go to court 3 times and the final time the judge the judge can rule on a settlement. What does your solicitor say?

He doesn’t have a solicitor. Don’t know where he lives no communication with him whatsoever. He will not co operate AT ALL with this divorce. I need to divorce him without his consent basically

She said we can go again but the judge may decide we have to go back again since we cannot serve him the papers and he needs to have a ‘fair chance’ at being able to turn up. He’s had plenty of chances but once he knows we’re on to him he won’t accept any signed mail. He’s known when the last 2 dates were but chose not to turn up

I don't think there is much else you can do but keep turning up at court. I'd be trying to get my solicitors fees paid out of his share since it's his fault you have to keep going (I know it's not cheap as I went to court numerous times)

Have already tried that. It won’t come out of his share. None of his bills that he hasn’t paid for the past 3 years will come out of his share. It’s absolutely ludicrous. It shouldn’t be this hard to divorce someone!!!

@Helpwithdivorce it will be worth it when it's over. Mine took around 4years and a lot of money (I ended up being taken for everything he could) but it was such a relief when it was over.
Hopefully the judge will rule in your favour if he doesn't show again.

Not a divorce, but I was having some legal trouble with an ex so my solicitor hired a bailiff to deliver paperwork to his place of work

Gave me no end of pleasure knowing he was humiliated at his very important place of work.

He wouldn't respond to anything sent to any of the 3 addresses I knew he was at.

I’d love to do that. But he can’t hold down a job so I don’t know where he’s living or working. Or even if he is. Even his family and friends don’t know or won’t tell me if they do

I think it's on the bailiff to find them? They can do it for unpaid fines and overdue council tax!

Not sure of course, as I knew where my Dickhead worked so it was easy.

Best of luck with it.

Thank you. Tried that. They found him arranged to meet him and he didn’t turn up. This is what he does

You're nit giving him 50% of the house, that's the starting point.

I had to use Court Bailiffs to serve papers. He failed to turn up on numerous occasions. His slack behaviour caught him out in the end though. The Court saw it for what it was, which was abusive and controlling behaviour. I was awarded everything, bar a small sum which went straight to his legal fees. He got nothing and I got his remaining pension too as he'd already liquidated one. Utter cunt. It is frustrating and expensive, but go for costs to be deducted from his share. It is worth it to be free.

Send him the court date via email and WhatsApp and text message. Take the evidence that you have done this to the court with you and ask them to make a final order in his absence.

In the communication with him remind him that the court can make final orders in his absence.
And tell him what you are asking the court to do.

Seriously you need a better solicitor. This happens all the time.

I’ve tried using a court appointed ‘server’ which I assume is the same thing. He failed 3 times

I can try email but I do not have his number. The one he had when we were together is no longer in service. I have tried that

I do appreciate my solicitor isn’t the best. However she is the cheapest I could find and has still cost me over £10k which I simply don’t have. I’m not in a well paid job. I just want to get divorced and have his name off the house. No one tells you when you get married that it’s basically impossible to divorce someone without it costing you the best part of £20k

This happened to my partner.

He didn't know where his wife was living so gave the address to the best of his knowledge and they tried to serve the papers three times. He contacted mutual friends and family too. He went to court, the judge said to give it another try and so he did.

He went back to court a second time and the judge said she obviously can't be found and he'd done everything he could do go ahead and submit the financial settlement. He offered 50/50 and the judge signed off on it.

She has never reappeared and when the sold the house, an appointed solicitor acted on her behalf. As far we know, her share of the equity, pension etc. is in a holding account and she has never claimed it.

So it is absolutely possible but there is a process to follow. It took two years from start to finish and this was a couple of years ago.

I admire her ability to ghost with such stunning ruthlessness. Even the hardest and most stubborn people would find the that degree of financial temptation hard to resists eventually.

Thanks for this. We’ve already been to court twice and he’s not turned up twice. I’ve contacted friends and family members and they say they don’t have his address. We managed to get a phone number for him but as soon as we had it he changed it, spoke to my solicitor on the phone and basically said he wanted me to waste as much money as possible trying to divorce him.
Judge said last time we need to serve him with papers and if we did and he didn’t turn up again he would proceed without him but how do you serve someone who cannot be found?

My partner served it to her parents' address as that where she moved immediately after moving out. Turns out the reason it wasn't successful is that noone was at home when they tried on three occasions but now we know her parents had sold their house and moved elsewhere and the ex had moved to a different city.

So perhaps sending it to the last known address to the best of your knowledge would work? This is all a process and I'm surprised your solicitor and the court seem to be at a stalemate, I'd do what the judge asks and go from there.

Could you hire a private investigator to track him down? I know it’s more money but it’ll be worth it. They’ll be able to find out if he’s registered on the voter’s register or if he’s paying council tax somewhere. He might be claiming benefits in which case there will be a paper trail to him. Good luck. He sounds like a bloody nightmare.

How much are you due to give him, tbh I'd rescind that given how much money it has cost you.