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Need honest advice to not be unreasonable

7 replies

Justamummi · 14/07/2024 21:21

I have a 2yr old, my ex partner who I haven’t spoken to for 18months has just contacted me asking me for my child’s details so he can extend his parent visa which was based on another child, who’s parent is no longer supporting him being in his older child’s life. Our separation occurred when he walked out on us when the baby was 1month old and 1 week out of NICU born prem. Since that time he has been emotionally abusive and been exposed for substance abuse. He has not had any contact with baby or attempt to visit him I have been told by his family that he has extensive drug history in his country of origin. He is in no way fit to look after my little one, he was absent for the registration of birth so he is not on the birth certificate and my LO does not have his surname. He gave £50 for 1 birthday and that is it. Because of his drug use he cannot focus properly and cannot maintain concentration for simple tasks so I could no way give him any responsibility for the baby. He is now asking me to write to home office to support his application as well as give details of myself and extended family
members who he has zero contact with. Am I being unreasonable by not helping him extend his visa? I asked him to attend AA last year and he refused, there’s of course so much more to this story but I’m trying to keep it brief, any advice would be appreciated 😊

OP posts:
AbbieLexie · 14/07/2024 21:27

Not unreasonable at all. Block him

FannyPowder · 14/07/2024 21:43

Block him.

littlegreencaravan · 14/07/2024 21:44

No chance would I be supporting this. Keep him as far away as possible.

ChockysChimichanga · 14/07/2024 21:44

Serious question here, why on earth do you think there is any argument at all for agreeing to this arrant nonsense?

Justamummi · 14/07/2024 22:29

@ChockysChimichanga thanks for your reply. He is saying that I’m denying my Son access to him if his visa doesn’t get renewed and also said UKVI will chase me if I don’t help him and grant him a visa instantly because I’m withholding his child from him. I don’t know if that’s true. I don’t want anything to do with him let alone give any details to him but he telling his family I’m being unreasonable so I just wanted to make sure I’m not being over emotional about it. Thanks again

OP posts:
AgreeableDragon · 14/07/2024 22:46

Justamummi · 14/07/2024 22:29

@ChockysChimichanga thanks for your reply. He is saying that I’m denying my Son access to him if his visa doesn’t get renewed and also said UKVI will chase me if I don’t help him and grant him a visa instantly because I’m withholding his child from him. I don’t know if that’s true. I don’t want anything to do with him let alone give any details to him but he telling his family I’m being unreasonable so I just wanted to make sure I’m not being over emotional about it. Thanks again

UKVI stands for U.K. VISAS AN IMMIGRATION, not child services!!!! They will not be in the slightest bit interested about whether he’s seeing your child or not.

However, they will be interested in the fact he’s not named as the child’s father, his substance abuse and that you are not willing to support his application. So writing to them is probably a good idea!

Justamummi · 14/07/2024 22:54

@ChockysChimichanga you’re so right, I’m sure they would be very interested in what I have to say. Thanks again, I feel like a weight has been lifted. I appreciate you for replying thank you

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