Social services involvement

[sophie12x]

Hey so this is abit of a long thread sorry in advance. I got pregnant with my first son ( now 2) 2022 . Social services got involved due domestic violence between me and my dad and numerous police reports ( I was 19 at the time) was placed in a m&b unit decided I passed parenting assessment but still didn't want me to be left alone with the baby due to mental health issues fast forward my mental health got worse I ended up giving my son to my mum who now has a sgo for him . I have contact with him whenever I want my mum is very supportive and lets me take him out all time social services aren't involved anymore due to court judge decision. I got pregnant again while the court proceedings was going on for my mum to be a sgo but moved out the area near my dads where social services got involved (Greenwich) ( moved back to area my mum was living in) Greenwich Social Services made a referral for social services in my area to get involved with me , I heard from them once when I was around 12 weeks asked how I was etc stuff like that and I stated and told them the truth I'm on medication getting support my mental health is in a much better place. And they said they would get back to me on there decision of their involvement, now im currently 36 weeks and still haven't heard back from them , my mum said this probably because there hasn't been no reports / police reports and everything has been fine etc . My point being is when I do eventually give birth does any have any knowledge on what would happen , I mean would they turn up to hospital to try remove baby? Would hospital staff keep in knowing I previously had social services involvement or I will I be able to go home? Should I call social services myself and ask what's their decision I'm just really unsure and scared for labour as it is and this is making me more nervous any advice would be really appreciated thanks ladies🩵

Are you medically able to consider home birth? Definitely try to find out their plans but a home birth could alleviate any anxiety over what may or may not happen in hospital

I would really recommend asking your midwife about this. I know it's probably not what you want to do as would be nicer to avoid but it's definitely better to be upfront about any of this than it gets stressful when you have a new tiny baby.

They should have done a referral via maternity when you disclosed previous involvement and then social services have to make a decision to take on the case or not in a timeframe (not sure exactly how long but certainly quicker than between 12 and 36 weeks pregnant!) If they wanted to take any serious action then they would need to have been having regular meetings with you and all the professionals around you/previous social involvement etc and it doesn't sound like that has happened so no they can't just remove your baby without warning. I really hope that means they have assessed and closed your case with no further action as they are reassured about the progress you've made - ideally they would have let your midwife know that outcome but sometimes messages get lost - and your midwife will be able to chase this up and get an answer for sure that it is closed. hopefully not - but if they have just been really slow at doing the assessments/meetings at least you know where you stand and what the next steps will be. Honestly your best bet is to consider them as a support and not a barrier - I know involvement can be hard work but they actually can provide lots of services to help with adapting to a new child in your life.

I would really disagree with the PP - all for a homebirth if you want for yourself but a terrible idea to avoid social services - if you were planning to have midwives they would come from the same trust as the hospital and therefore have access to the same safeguarding info and alerts as hospital staff, and to avoid this the alternative would be a free birth with no professional attendants which I would never advocate and certainly will look more suspect further down the line if social services do get involved.

This must be such an awful time, not knowing if you’re going to be able to bring baby home.
has your midwife said anything about it? Health visits? I am amazed they’ve said and done nothing.
have you prepared for the baby and bought everything to show you are prepared? This may help but I understand difficult if you don’t know if you’ll be keeping them or not.

in your shoes I would ring social services and ask what if any input they will be having, it’s not unreasonable to expect some answers especially if you’re having to purchase and prepare for an arrival and it will at least give you some answers. I’d also try and seek advice about how to get both children in your care as the fact you have one with mum and would like the other won’t look good so your intentions needs to be towards getting them both with you.

Sorry I must clarify I wasn’t suggesting a home birth to avoid SS - but instead to reduce anxiety around being in hospital and any uncertainty and to protect the OPs time with her newborn , obviously SS if they needed to be involved would be but it’s much better for mother and baby to have the time and privacy they need and appts pre arranged rather than anyone at any time pulling back the curtain round your postnatal bed and invading your space when it could be planned to be convenient for all

It’s hard to advise without knowing what the plan is following delivery but I would definitely speak to your midwife and contact your social worker to get a better idea of what the plan is.

In my experience, midwives are very respectful of women when in hospital to have their babies, even when we know if advance that babies will be removed from the mothers care.

If the plan is for you to keep custody of the baby, you may require a discharge planning meeting before leaving the hospital. This normally involves you, your social worker and the safeguarding midwife. The aim of the meeting isn’t to try to catch you out but rather put plans in place to give you the best chance of keeping you and baby together.

As tempting as it may seem, please do not disengage with maternity care or attempt to deliver without health care professionals present, as it gives the impression you’re trying to conceal the birth which can work against you from a SS perspective.

Good luck!

Thanks for your comment but I have already spoken to to midwife and she doesn't have any concerns to report me! Also I don't think of them as support as with my first son the only reason for my deterioration in mental health was because they literally failed me hence why I ended up giving my son to my mum. So last thing I want is them involved at al.