Residential Legal Advice

[blanketcandle]

I bought my home in 2016, at the time it was a new build and I bought it off plan. I purchased the house for 206k in 2016 and today it is worth 350k. There is a mortgage of 155k on the property.

In 2021 I met my partner and we are now engaged. He moved into the house in 2021 and pays 50/50 of the monthly bills. Before we met, he was bought out of the home he had with his ex partner but after paying off debt he was left with a very smal lump sum that he spent. He has not paid into my home apart from paying bills each month.

When he moved in he needed a workshop so I built him a large workshop in the garden so he can work from home. This cost close to 15k. This business is very profitable and he has no rent to pay for the building as he uses it for free.

Over the past few months he has been vocal about expecting a percentage of the house if I was to die or if we split up. Just having these conversations has been very upsetting and caused me to pull away from him emotionally. He has stated several times that he’s not paying into the house if he won’t be getting anything out of it in the future if something went wrong. I know that if he lived on his own and rented a house his bills would be the same if not more as rental costs a high.

He also told me yesterday that he’s got me insured through his employer. His cover is for critical illness and if I die he gets over 50k. This shocked me a bit. I don’t know how that wouldn’t be enough of a payment to start over if I died but he has stated that he also wants 25% of the equity in the house. He said my children can have 37.5% each!

I’m a single mother with 2 teenagers and my priority will always be to set them up in life. If I died I would want them to have as much money as possible which is why I’m also insured and I have a teacher pension etc. I have no intention of letting my fiancé have access to the equity in my home if I die. He would start over again if I died but my children would have lost their mother and they don’t have a relationship with their father as he moved to China after our divorce. He was an abuser and it is a blessing that he is no longer in their lives but they would still have no one if I died.

I would really appreciate some advice. This is a summary statement and does not detail the whole situation.

Hi @blanketcandle . I’m really sorry, but this guy does not have your best interests at heart. He is essentially living and working rent free, he would not be able to do this otherwise so should be paying something to you for rent ( definitely don’t put him on the mortgage) and he is saving money on rent so should be putting that away not expecting a share of your estate if you die.

Do you feel the relationship is healthy, as this doesn’t sound like the behaviour of a god guy?

These dreadful men!
It would put me right off too.
I wouldn't be entertaining this either. So he's not offered to either buy a proportion of this house or the 2 of you buy a new house together, he just thinks he's entitled to a share when you die, other than paying towards his part of the bills what other contribution has he made? Did he pay anything towards his £15k workshop? Honestly I think I'd be seriously considering finishing things.

You’ve posted in legal advice, so I’m assuming you’re not looking for relationship advice, although possibly that would be helpful too.

For the short term, make a will ASAP so that your intentions about the house going to your children are set out clearly, and use a solicitor who knows the whole situation.

Ideally, a tenancy agreement should be entered into so you can show he is renting from you, but given what he has already said, that is unlikely to be something he would agree to.

So the question is, do you want this man in your life/house any more now he has shown his true colours?

Thank you for your comments. I feel better already as I was worried I was being unreasonable. He did not pay towards the workshop and I bought a lot of the tools he needed. He doesn’t have a very good credit rating due to defaulting on previous loans before we met. I would sell the house and move together in a new house but he can’t get a mortgage for another 3 years.

I'd keep everything separate. Maybe you should address this really bluntly and get a cohabitation agreement. You might as well deal with it and either sort it out now or split up otherwise it will just fester.

Well I think I would get a will done now setting out your wishes just in case the worst happens and hopefully stop him trying to make a claim on your estate. If you can get through/over this unpleasant display of entitlement and in 3 years buy together (educated guess - bankruptcy?) when he can get a mortgage. That gives a plan to work towards and he can start saving towards the new house so he goes in on a better more equal footing. His outgoings must be very low so hopefully he has plenty left over each month and it's not being frittered away. Then you can redo your will along with documents to protect your share of the new house if/when you buy together.

You need a cohabitation agreement firstly, then a will secondly.
Speak to a solicitor. Yes, expensive, but 100000% worth it. If you get knocked down by a bus, he does have a claim on your house.

I'd thirdly consider life insurance for yourself, to provide a good amount for your DC. Then at least they'll have that (hopefully you're here for a long time though!)

See a solicitor before he establishes a right to remain in the property. Preferably get rid of him, now, because he wants your money, not you. His values are not your values and, luckily for you, he’s made that clear. Tell him to go. Truly, see a solicitor asap.

Are you planning on getting married? I'm surprised you didn't have these conversations about money before moving in together. I can see his point, being homeless if you were to die first. However, the way you write it doesn't come across as him being very loving towards you. If he is working and contributing to your life, he should be benefiting financially too, not just your children.

Un-engage yourself from this individual. 3 years into the relationship and he's making bold statements on his financial expectations of YOUR life's work and assets, AS WELL AS covering his bases and getting your life insured through his work. No chance, there's a bullet heading your way OP, dodge it now.

Well for God's sake, don't get married. He sees you as a meal ticket. If you marry, you'll screw your kids.

You need to be blunt with him

1. The house is yours. The equity from your payments and rising prices is yours
2. Everything you have, house pensions and life assurance is going to your children
3. He benefits from not paying you rent or for hid business premises. He can save that to invest
4. you have no intention of his poor credit history ever combining with yours.

Over the past few months he has been vocal about expecting a percentage of the house if I was to die or if we split up

Make sure you keep any proof that he never gave you money for the workshop plus never helped you with physically or monetarily with any improvements whether it painting a refitting a kitchen. While the onus is on him to show he did help you, you can help yourself by keeping your receipts and any messages with trades.

I do know people, both women and men, who got some money for helping their ex with improvements to their ex's home. However they could prove they had done so and it was within 5 years of the improvements taking place.

Also as PPs said definitely don't marry him as if he cared for your children he would not come out with this nonsense. I know a few people whose step-parent actually cared for them, so their parent's house was entrusted to their step-parent to live in for the rest of their life and then passed to the child(ren). As you are not in this situation get a will leaving your entire estate to your children plus make sure you have signed an expression of wishes for your pension leaving any money to your children.

If he stops paying his bills then you need to evict him and you can do so within any time line you like as there is currently no rental agreement. Get help from friends and relations, particularly men, who take no nonsense to do so and immediately change the locks.