I currently still live with my ex partner (not ideal) but just waiting on a completion date on a house I've bought and he's bought me out on our current mortgage. We were together 9 years and welcomed our DS 10 months ago and things went downhill so fast and he told me he 'won't tolerate my anxiety' because I, like a lot of new mums, have been anxious about lots of things in the first few months! And it got to the point he told me he just doesn't like me as a person anymore even though my friends and family look at it the opposite way and think I seem so much happier since becoming a mama.
Anyway, I'll be living a 30 min drive away (couldn't stay closer because of the house prices) and he's trying to insist on 50/50 custody. We both work full time condensed hours, so I get Monday off work and he gets Friday and we don't work weekends. I am so worried about changing the baby's routine I just don't know what's for the best. I do every bedtime, majority of baths, feeding etc and now he suddenly wants him half of the time even though I feel like I've been a single mother for months already.
I just don't know how much overnight contact is too much/not enough at this age. I initially suggested 2 nights a week but he would see him in the days too which I think is more enough because he's never even done the baby's nighttime routine. I suggested I have my Monday off with the baby, Tuesday I can drop him to nursery at 7am (which is near my ex house) he could then pick baby up at 3pm and have him overnight and drop him to nursery the next day. He picks baby up from nursery Wednesday and brings him home to me afterwards. Thursday I usually work from home but my mum is with the baby to watch him for the day and take him on walks etc. Friday is then ex's day off so I could drop DS to him in the morning before I start work and he has him all day and night, drops him to me Saturday morning/afternoon then I have him again until Tuesday. Does this sound reasonable? I just feel like from Monday-Friday I'm hardly seeing him 😔 He's still trying to push for another overnight which quite frankly he won't handle and I think 2 is going to be a struggle for him because he's never done it and DS is very attached to me atm and teething etc. Does this sound ok, too much or not enough? I in no way want to be selfish here but I just want things to be stable for my son and for him to be happy and comfortable. Sorry for the essay!