Sarahs Law - don’t have the necessary information

[Sarahslaw]

My partner’s ex has introduced another new man to the children (my step-children) only months after their last step-dad left. This in itself isn’t great for the kids, but this new man has a lot of red flags (the fact that he is not allowed to see his own child being a massive one, but also changes in the behaviour of one step-child since his introduction as well as other snippets the kids have told us).

My partner therefore asked his ex to give him the information to do a Sarah’s law request or to do one herself. She has point blank refused (despite being previously happy to do one for her last partner, who despite passing the checks did go on to physically harm the children, but not badly enough for social services to care only for school early help to get involved). This has obviously made us even more worried that she knows something will come up if a check is done.

my partner has spoken to social services, the police and the school who all understand his concerns and the red flags, but say they can’t make his ex disclose the information to do the check.

so, my legal question is, is there any way that we can legally get the information we need to do a Sarah’s law request?

so far, all I can think of is:

1. put in a prohibited steps order to prevent him being around the children during their time with their mother until checks are done to safeguard them. I’m not actually sure if you can have such an order so I’m probably clutching at straws.

2. a SIO to order her to conduct a Sarah’s law request for the children’s safety.

3. hire a private investigator (I don’t know if they actually would be able to tell us his full name and date of birth though).

i would be very grateful of any/all advice or ideas.

Is there a court order in place for contact and residency atm? If the children are in danger has your partner gone to court to take residency?

Does the man have social media?
When someone in my family was looking to do a Clare’s law I was able to find out everything needed thanks to social media - birthday posts gave the date and then then made searching for a birth record easy.

We have tried social media but she refuses to even give us his full name and doesn’t appear to have a friend connection with anyone of his first name.

Also, no there isn’t a court order but 50:50 custody. We believe the children may be in danger and social services/police understand my DPs concerns but say nothing meets the threshold yet. Her previous partner physically assaulting one of the step-children didn’t meet their threshold because ‘it was a joke and playing around’ either, so we really don’t know how bad it has to be before social services or a court would consider them to be in danger.

the child whose behaviour has changed has SEND and is unlikely to be able to verbalise any abuse and so this makes us particularly concerned.

The nuclear approach would be not to return the DC until the ex has disclosed the info. Though assuming she has pr she can do the same.

Yes, the issue is that she will just go and take them from school. Plus if possible it’s best the kids don’t know about this or feel their dad is stopping them seeing their mom. My DP is seriously considering this, but it seems likely to backfire on him and one child is a teen so could just go back to their mother’s house.

Honestly I would have thought an investigator would be able to find this information for you fairly easily. If you are so concerned that you are considering not returning the children and you can afford it, that is the route I would go down.

Thank you, even if we need to stick the cost on the credit card we would rather that than do nothing.

What information do you actually have about this person?

I used to fill out the Clare's/Sarah's law applications via 101 when I worked for the police a couple of years ago so I can kind of remember what information is on the form.

Is there likely to be anything that links him to her address?

I think in this case a PI would be your quickest option. From experience, a good one will have all the information very quickly and accurately.

As others have said I would avoid any steps such as withholding the children from her, at this stage, legally she can do exactly the same.

The child that is a teen, is this the same child with send that cannot verbalise the situation?
If not, what do they say about it?

How old are the other children ?

To answer a few questions.

nothing to link him to her address as he doesn’t live there, though he is now there most of the time and certainly every weekend the kids are there.

the child with SEND is primary age. The teenager was the one assaulted by previous partner and despite confiding in us about that they still wanted to see their mom, who they love very much. They are almost monosyllabic about the new partner and won’t say much at all about them. None of the kids know his full name either.

Does he have a car that you could get the registration for? The police would be able to see who it's registered and insured to and get a potential address, and possibly date of birth?

If one child is a teen can they find out the man's last name?

Sorry just read they don't know.

We could find out his registration plate with ease as his car is parked outside the house. However, the police seemed clear they needed a name and date of birth.

If the teen is on any form of social media and he is too, it will very likely be suggesting them to each other as contacts, given their proximity. Which might help with name and date of birth ultimately. Easiest way would be private investigator though, I agree.

Thank you. We did spend last night trawling social media to no end. We also don’t want to drag the kids into it and ask them to find/verify his identity as that will be very uncomfortable for them and we wouldn’t want them to think they had contributed in any way to the end of their mothers relationship if Sarah’s law does show he’s a risk. One of the children already felt they were to blame for the previous relationship breaking down because they told their mom they didn’t like hearing all the arguing. We’re really trying to keep them out of it if possible.

Totally get that! I hope you figure it out, it must be so worrying.

Just as an update. We paid a PI and got nothing. Possibly, as it turns out because his name wasn’t correct as he had lied.

We managed to get his number plate and the police processed the request and immediately called my DP in for a disclosure. It’s was as bad as we could have imagined and the kids were in real danger, but are now thankfully safe with us.

Well done for getting the kids safe!

How lucky they are to have both of you. Well done for persevering.

I'm so glad these kids have you in their lives. I can't believe the risk some people put their kids at just to be in a relationship with anyone.

@Sarahslaw so glad you managed to get the info and protected the children.

Thank you. I updated partly because I wanted people to know that a number plate and first name could be enough to help them if they’re in a similar position.

Well done for persevering with this op . I wonder how many children this law has saved from harm?