I'm 43m and my ex partner is40f. In the year 2002 I met a girl and started a relationship with her. It was a good relationship and we were very close. One afternoon she informed me she had to go to her ex partners house to pick up her belongings that she left there after their relationship ended. I asked her how they split up and she told me that her ex partner beat her up and raped her. I didn't say anything as I didn't really know what to say to be honest. A few months later I leave to start my basic training for the military but I am still in the relationship. After a few months of being in the military we split up as she insisted I follow my dreams ( the military wasn't my dream). We split up and I was informed by numerous people that whilst I was away at base she was secretlty in a relationship with another man and actually cheating on me the whole time. Fast forward a few months and I am currently back in my home town on military leave. My ex partner spots me in a pub and we began chatting. She tells me she loves me and wants to get back together. We end up having a few drinks together and spent the day and night with each other obviously having sex on multiple occasions that day . I go back to camp and try ringing her through the work when I'm free but she was very distant and seemed very secretive. After days of trying to get hold of her I'm informed she's actually in a relationship with someone and was in a relationship when she told me she still loved me and wanted to get back together. Her boyfriend at the time was on holidays abroad with his friends and she had basically cheated on her boyfriend with me. I was unaware of this so I decided to have no further contact in the future and continue with my military career without any distractions. In 2021 this person informs me that I have a 17 fyear old daughter with her. I then discovered that the night she was unfaithful to her boyfriend was the night she fell pregnant with me. IT GETS WORSE . When she found out she was pregnant she knew I was the biological father by the dates of falling pregnant. Instead of confessing to hee boyfriend she made him believe he was the father of my daughter for 17 years and even put him on the birth certificate. He had a wealthy family and she obviously only lied to him due to his money knowing she would be financially stable. They had a son together and that's when he realises that the children look nothing alike and that the daughter he has been raising looks nothing like him, his young son or the mother. The daughter who is actually my child looks exactly like me. He started asking questions and obviously knew she had been unfaithful years ago and kept mentioning my name but she continued to make him believe he was the biological father to my daughter. In 2021 when I was informed I had a 17 year old daughter I met with the mother. I asked her how hee and her ex partner split. She then informs me they split up as he beat her up and raped her. I literally had a flashback as when we met in 2002 she also told me another ex partner of hers beat her up and raped her. I begun to realise that this person is toxic. I stupidly end up in a relationship with her again and she informed me that her ex partner also raped my daughter. I become suspicious and I start to ask questions myself. She becomes highly volatile and we split up after 4 weeks. After the split Im told that she split with her ex partner as he was starting to unravel the 17 yea lie he had been living. When my ex partner realised she had been exposed she then falafel accused him of rape in order to cover up her deceitful web of lies. I had started to bond with my 17 year old daughter but after we split she turned my daughter against me also. She then started telling my daughter lies about me in order to turn my child against me and again to cover up her deceitful past. My daughter completely turned on me just like she turned on the man that raised her. My daughter has made 2 false accusations of rape against innocent men and her mother has falsely accused 3 men of rape. The father of her son now only has access to his son once a week in a contact centre due to her lies. In all fairness the man who raised my daughter was a cocaine addict and a drug dealer. My daughter was raised in a hostile and violent environment. My daughter now has a cocaine addiction and has completely gone off the rails. After we split my ex started a smear campaign against me. She was constantly contacting the police and knowingly giving false statements about me in order to get me arrested as I knew her secret of lying about being raped. It got worse as she started contacting my family members slandering me and making false accusations in order to turn my family against me. My car was getting damaged as she was now accusing me of rape etc. I ended up having to put a restraining order on my ex partner and my daughter. Over the last year or so I have been having fake profiles on Facebook messaging me. I can clearly tell the person behind the fake accounts is my daughter. My daughter is growing up just like her mother and I have completely disowned her as she is also toxic and has lied about rape. My daughter has clearly been affected by her upbringing and I imagine finding out her father is not her biological father after 17 has also affected her. My daughter and my ex literally ruined my life in a space of a few weeks with their lies. I relapsed on alcohol after 12 years sobriety due to their lies. I lost my job and home and my car. I now have my own place and have my car back and gotten back into work.
Thing is I feel really bad for my daughter as she's clearly being manipulated her whole life by her deceitful toxic mother. I think my daughter seeks comfort in making fake profiles on Facebook to speak to me as she is aware I want nothing to do with her.
I'm starting to think if I should forgive my daughter as she has clearly been manipulated by a toxic with for 17 years but unfortunately my daughter has grown up to be exactly like her mother.
Do I forgive my daughter or do I learn my lesson and stay away from her for good.
My daughter currently hates me because I know she's lied about being raped and her secret has been exposed also.
Any advice would be great.
Thanks