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Order of sale?? Domestic Abuse

7 replies

Wingingitbutonlyjust · 10/06/2024 22:06

I’m looking for some advice/guidance/people to share their experience I guess. I will try to keep a long and pretty crummy story short. I split from my partner of 15 years (not married) in January. We have two kids, jointly owned housed that we bought 9 years ago. There was abuse throughout our relationship and since separation there has been police involvement and I have had to submit not one but two applications for non-molestation orders because first time round undertakings and then almost immediately breached. Second an order was granted. Due to related issues I have also started the child arrangements process annnnd finally, my next steps are to find a way to get the house sold so I can get the hell on with my life and find a new home for me and the children.

So here is the current issue…. We own as joint tenants, no deed of trust that states otherwise and so the split is 50/50. He has been advised of this on multiple occasions and it seemed that he had accepted his fate, we got the house on the market, sold subject to contract and now he is refusing to progress through the sale as he wants a bigger share of the equity. His dad gave us some money that went towards the deposit and now he is demanding that on top of the 50/50 split. He has not made a legal challenge for this, he is just bullying me via my solicitor. I don’t want peoples opinions on this bit, what I would really like is to hear about any experiences getting court orders under TOLATA to order and grant the applicant control of the sale, rough costs and timescales, any top tips, things not to do etc etc etc. Is this something anyone has done as litigant in person?

Basically, I am drowning in court applications and need some encouragement to carry on fighting and to not just stop paying the mortgage and let the bank take us both down. I am emotionally exhausted, already racking up solicitors fees to have achieved absolutely nothing, it has been months of continuous turmoil and I am really, really done in.

OP posts:
Karensalright · 10/06/2024 22:45

This is not legal advice, I am an experienced DV worker.

As you well know he will continue to use your fiscal connections to control and abuse you.

Last involvement i had in a TOLATA case it cost the woman £2,500, she represented herself part the way but engaged a solicitor for the hearings.

Because he was awkward all the way, her costs were deducted from his share of the equity and she gained control of the sale.

I think you have to weigh up the cost of conceding whatever it is he wants, to the emotional costs to yourself.

Can you afford such a loss of equity for you to move forward in your life? That is the question to ask yourself.

Putting yourself through the mill to achieve what you know to be right legally and morally is not always the right choice.

Your actual victory will be your freedom from him. Expediency might be an option.

redastherose · 10/06/2024 23:06

Can Rights of Women not assist you? www.rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/

Might be worth you contacting them. I'm a conveyancer and have seen a fair amount of court orders with joint sale provisions and have seen a few where the women have gone back to court and shown that the man had refused to engage and the judge has signed the transfer instead. It's entirely possible.

I'd personally loath to let him bully you out of money that you need for yourself and the children going forward.

RandomMess · 10/06/2024 23:21

The judge signed off SILs house sale when her idiot ex wouldn't.

Hang on in there and self rep.

Ultimately you will have all the work and costs of the DC.

ByCupidStunt · 10/06/2024 23:24

How much money we talking about here?

mybeesarealive · 10/06/2024 23:32

S.14 application under TOLATA. As others have said. The judge can legally make an order that permits him/her to sign the transfer for your ex - and wouldn't it be lovely to play him at his own gain and take his power away from him (while also fixing the costs of the shenanigans against his equity). You'll need evidence of him derailing the sale, so keep records.

Wingingitbutonlyjust · 11/06/2024 16:38

We are talking enough for me to put a deposit on a shared ownership property and he is disputing a huge figure. If I concede to his bullying, private rent will be extortionate and I could end up homeless whilst waiting to find either private or social housing. I will never be able to afford to buy again.

OP posts:
Escapingthenarc · 30/10/2024 09:35

I’m in the same situ! Any progress @Wingingitbutonlyjust? have it all crossed for you. I’m still stuck in the same home after two blocked sales and horrible psychological abuse two years after ending the relationship due to his affair…

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