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Original poster

Advice for getting a court order to force sale

11 replies

Mum2EmLuJa · 29/05/2024 20:33

Hi, hoping someone can help. I have a property with my ex husband-we have been separated over 13 years and divorced over 10 years. I now live 160 miles away and have done for 11 years. Originally we just let the house out as at first it had no equity and then we had a good long term tenant. However, he moved back in around a year ago when he split up with his new partner on assumption it would be temporary and then we would sell it or he would get me off mortgage and buy me out. It has been up for sale for couple of months but now his mental health has taken severe turn for worse and has addiction issues, he refused to let 4 viewings that were arranged a couple of weeks ago take place and is now uncontactable via phone-he only answered me once saying his mental health comes before selling house?! I feel at my wits end as desperate to sell and get my equity (approx 70k between us) and the fact he is uncontactable and can’t arrange anything with estate agents is making me ill. He was awful with emotional and financial abuse for years after we split up and feel this is him once again controlling the narrative. How expensive is it to get a court order forcing sale? I have no money at all (even less now I am getting no maintenance off him for our daughter) so really can’t afford much to this so much that I am considering once I get any letter from mortgage lender advising arrears on mortgage I want to ring them to repossess straight away. It feels so unfair that we have been split up for so long and he is living in a property he basically couldn’t if it weren’t for the fact my name is on the mortgage 😢

OP posts:
PippaNix · 29/05/2024 23:37

Not a legal expert but went through something similar a few years back. I will say you definitely need a solicitor to navigate this. It costs money, but you can’t afford not to if making a TOLATA claim as it’s a complicated area of law.
The good news is that if your case is strong enough to win, your solicitor can ask the courts to approve a costs order to recoup your legal fees from your exH. This will be taken from his (or yours, if you don't win) share of the equity on selling.
You do need to speak to a solicitor about your individual circumstances though as being married and having children, plus potentially his health etc. can have an impact. I don't know if you got a financial consent order on divorce, so this could also have an impact. Ultimately though, £35k each is enough to rehouse yourselves even if you need to rent, so I don't think his defense is strong enough in this regard, but I'm no expert as I say and don't know all of your circumstances. I would recommend you pay for at least an initial consultation to see where you are at and where you stand/next steps.
Mine was pretty straightforward. Not married and no children, just a stubborn and greedy ex not prepared to give up the lifestyle my income afforded him. I ended up paying about £2-3k in the process but ex was ordered to sell within a timeframe and paid about £15k for my legal costs. The whole process took about 18 months and was stressful, but way less stressful than the feeling of being trapped that he kept me in. A small price to pay for my freedom!

Original poster
Mum2EmLuJa · 30/05/2024 07:59

Thank you we were married (but only 2 yeasrs) but have been divorced for over 10 years and our daughter is 15 has lived with me and my now husband (we have been together 12ish years and have 2 children). I had to actually apply and won a residential order for her as when he found out I was moving away he was refusing to hand her back). Part of reason I didn’t want to stay in that house is that he would turn up whenever he wanted and purposely when I was at work letting me know he was there withering trashing things/going through all my drawers or stealing things-he took tv, my own laptop, smashed my phone and smashed further laptop amongst ripping wallpaper etc and police couldn’t do anything as was half his house. I worry due to his addiction he will soon not be paying the mortgage on the house and there is no chance I will pay anything towards him living there as want house gone and he isn’t my responsibility. It’s just a mess and hate having any financial ties to him, when we first split up he would blackmail his maintenance and as I say purposely break/steal things to cost me money

OP posts:
Needanadultgapyear · 30/05/2024 08:33

Did you get a financial order when you divorced? If so what did it say about the house, if it said it should be sold you maybe only going for enforcement.
If you did not get a financial order you would be well advised to do this to finally severe all financial ties and it will cover the house.

Pinkyandperky011 · 30/05/2024 08:39

We've been through the process of getting a possession order recently which was £355 but much less complicated so we didn't need legal advice but just wanted to mention that this may be included in your landlord insurance.

Collaborate · 30/05/2024 10:07

Some questions before I can offer a way forward.

  1. Have you remarried?
  2. If so, did you divorce him or did he divorce you?
Original poster
Mum2EmLuJa · 30/05/2024 12:10

Collaborate · 30/05/2024 10:07

Some questions before I can offer a way forward.

  1. Have you remarried?
  2. If so, did you divorce him or did he divorce you?

Yes I have remarried and I divorced him on unreasonable behaviour grounds

OP posts:
Original poster
Mum2EmLuJa · 30/05/2024 12:11

Needanadultgapyear · 30/05/2024 08:33

Did you get a financial order when you divorced? If so what did it say about the house, if it said it should be sold you maybe only going for enforcement.
If you did not get a financial order you would be well advised to do this to finally severe all financial ties and it will cover the house.

No we didn’t get any financial order when we divorced

OP posts:
MummyTea · 14/07/2025 00:08

i am in a similar situation but have two kids. He is using kids as an excuse not to sell.
which solicitor did you use?

Original poster
Mum2EmLuJa · 14/07/2025 08:05

MummyTea · 14/07/2025 00:08

i am in a similar situation but have two kids. He is using kids as an excuse not to sell.
which solicitor did you use?

I haven’t I am representing myself got court again 6th august

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 14/07/2025 08:13

So because you haven’t got a financial order, that means that you may not actually get half the equity in the house. You have presumably got another house where you live with your DH and children, so would be seen by the courts to have no housing need whereas your ex has no job, mental health issues, would struggle to be rehoused if the current property were to be sold. It really isn’t as simple as selling the house and splitting the profit equally I’m afraid.
With regard to your other comments, he was perfectly within his legal rights to force you to go to court if you were taking his children away - morally is a different matter. In addition, if the mortgage isn’t continued to be paid, the mortgages, ie you and your ex, would both be subject to proceedings and this could end up being a huge detriment to you should you want to take out another mortgage in the future. Over the 10 years you’ve been divorced, your half of the mortgage payments have been working for you as you’ve said there’s now £70k equity in the house.

Original poster
Mum2EmLuJa · 14/07/2025 11:25

Soontobe60 · 14/07/2025 08:13

So because you haven’t got a financial order, that means that you may not actually get half the equity in the house. You have presumably got another house where you live with your DH and children, so would be seen by the courts to have no housing need whereas your ex has no job, mental health issues, would struggle to be rehoused if the current property were to be sold. It really isn’t as simple as selling the house and splitting the profit equally I’m afraid.
With regard to your other comments, he was perfectly within his legal rights to force you to go to court if you were taking his children away - morally is a different matter. In addition, if the mortgage isn’t continued to be paid, the mortgages, ie you and your ex, would both be subject to proceedings and this could end up being a huge detriment to you should you want to take out another mortgage in the future. Over the 10 years you’ve been divorced, your half of the mortgage payments have been working for you as you’ve said there’s now £70k equity in the house.

Hi it’s in the final stages at court in my favour as he isn’t turning up and has been obstructing viewings constantly, I am getting a control of sale and asking for all arrears to come out of his share as well as money set aside in a trust for our daughter to help with her university costs as he won’t pay a penny-currently owes me over £3k in child maintenance as not paid anything for over 18 months. I also did NOTHING morally wrong moving away from him! He was abusive and controlling would destroy my belongings when out, stole all my clothes, trashed the house, threatened my now DH he was cominh round to beat him up, had to ring police constantly over him! He is a lowlife cocaine addict and my daughter has turned out so much better than she would have done if he lived closer. The court has actually stopped him seeing his other younger daughter with a recent ex full stop-no contact allowed despite them only living 5 mins away!

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