So…not brilliant relationship with parents who live 6 hrs from us. Used to think things were ok, but ever since DH and I refused to go in on buying a property 8n Spain with them, things have year on year become progressively more strained. They did end up buying the property, its value went down and they had to rent it out constantly to pay back the loans they took out to purchase. They basically blew my Dad’s pension and got 3 loans supposedly using my brother’s details etc. From that point on they’ve been Uber secretive and unwilling to go into details, even though it’s them brought the subject up. They’ve made my brother executor and POA, and again are as tight as clams whenever the subject comes up (they’re both in their 80s and Dad now has Parkinson’s.
During a call today mum was complaining that one of the Apps they need to use to sign documents won’t let them in. I work in a role using lots of IT and regularly encounter the ‘user error but I refuse to believe it’. They said they’d got my brother to have a go at getting in last week but he had no joy. When I suggested that I might be able to help mum fobbed me off then went into a bluster about ‘it’s all too stressful’ and turned the camera off and gave the phone to my dad. He said bye bye etc and all ok. 3 mins later he calls back and tells me ‘do not go on there, do not try, it is our private business, do not touch it’. I explained they hadn’t actually told me what ‘it’ was and nor do I have his credentials to even try. I was quite annoyed by this point as I really felt like something was being hidden.
years ago, when I went to stay with them for a few days, I was rummaging next to the phone trying to find a piece of paper to write on, and picked up a utility bill in my name, but their address. At the time I was in the military, living in military accommodation, about 600 miles away. I said what’s this, and my mum snatched it out of my hand and hid it saying ‘nothing, leave it alone’. They had money problems their whole life down to poor decisions.
Apart from obviously feeling crap at how things ended, I’m also concerned that maybe this account thing they can’t get into has something they don’t want me to see - if it’s money squirrelled away I honestly don’t GAF, it’s clear there’s going to be an unequal share of any assets they have - they now live in a 1-bedroomed mobile home so even if I were interested it’s not life changing.
But what’s worrying me now is - what if they’ve forged me on the finances for the property in Spain? They were in negative equity the last time my mum mentioned maybe selling it.
Is this a rant or what can I do? 😞