What are our rights?

[username098765]

I posted a few days ago about my partner and I. We had an affair and have now been together for 12 months since he left his wife. They have a young ds who I am not allowed to have contact with. My question is legally is his ex allowed to do this? He doesn't come to our house, he has to visit his ds at his ex's house. I know I have no rights here but going forward surely this can't go on forever?

It's for your partner to negotiate contact with the mother of his child(ren), which is what is best for the child(ren) not adults who aren't the parents.

If they can't agree on their own, they can move to mediation and then if they still can't agree then they can move to court to have contact agreed by a judge.

If he gets divorced and sets a visitation schedule then it is up to him if/when you see the child, the ex cannot police what he does on his time with his child, assuming you are not an unsafe person, just lacking in morals.
If the father does not make efforts to sort this out, then yes, I suppose it could go on indefinitely until he does.

When you say "not allowed contact", is that because of the ex wife requesting this?
In general, legally there's no restrictions on his parent time unless he's subject to some formal order (eg contact centre or similar). So he can do what he wants and see who he wants, assuming they pose no threat to children.
If it's simply the exW doesn't like you and doesn't want to you to meet her son then legally she probably has no legs to stand on.
So then it's a matter of how much he cares and how long he is prepared to put up with the current situation. I'd say 18 months isn't super long to introduce a new DP. I certainly waited longer than that (but no affair partner in the mix).
If he wants he can go to mediation or court to formalise his access arrangements and pick up DS rather than go to her house. She can of course make his life very difficult if she wanted ... endless threads on here to illustrate. So he may want to try mediation first.

Parents don't have rights, they have responsibilities, it's the child who has rights.
Your boyfriend can go to court to get access sorted. The fact he hasn't bothered googling this in a year doesn't paint him as a great father.

It's up to him to sort with his ex wife.

But why on earth should YOU have any rights??

Imagine someone came along, wrecked your family, your husband left for that woman and now that woman wants rights to the child?

You reap what you sow I'm afraid. You shouldn't go round wrecking families and lives.
People who willingly participate in wrecking families and lives are vile.

Keep your beak out. The child has nothing to do with you.

And this.

Sounds like a great parent.

Why would you have rights?

Awww POOR you.

This is between your boyfriend and his wife to sort.

You have no rights. The child in this situation has the right to see both parents. If the mother understandably wants to keep you away from her child then your boyfriend can go to court to get ordered visitation, and then he can introduce his child to whoever he likes on his time.

Perhaps he's lying to you as an excuse to go back home and shag his ex. I mean he would definitely not cheat on you, right?

If your partner goes to court for a Child Arrangements Order, his ex will not be able to impose a condition preventing you from having any contact with his son. However, in the absence of an order, it is up to the parents to agree. If she insists there is to be no contact with you and he accepts that, it is perfectly legal.

Why would the poor mother want her child around the woman that contributed to wrecking her child's home?

Give your head a wobble ffs.

Whether the mother wants it or not, she can't stop it if the father goes to court for contact. Unless there are genuine safeguarding concerns, she can't restrict who her children see when they are in their father's care, and he can't restrict who they see when they are in her care.