Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Mediation with ex (DA)

2 replies

Mamabird2022 · 24/05/2024 13:13

Background
So after a three year abusive relationship (mental and emotional and a little financially) we separated in September 23. We tried to co-parent but after failing to turn up at correct times, demanding overnights when it wasn’t safe and continually threatening court when he wouldn’t get his own way I realised it wasn’t going to work. he grabbed me in an argument, got arrested and then wore me down to drop charges making me feel guilty and stupidly I fell for it.

I agreed to a trial period, after three weeks he went back to his usual behaviour, going through my phone and causing arguments about things I had said to my friends. There was a second altercation where he was shouting and screaming at me in front of our child (21months) in the middle of the night waking her and then snapping at her. Removed my phone from me so I couldn’t call the police and she was frightened.

I’ve had texts from him saying he wants nothing to do with her and then he demands to see her. He has reported me to ss twice with false allegations called the police in a different county to say I had removed her without his permission. All this failing he has now contacted mediation. He hasn’t seen his child at all for about 6 weeks since threatening to take her and run and I’m waiting to go to court for a residency order.

my mediation is in shuttle over zoom so I’m safe but I have no idea what to ask to make sure DD is protected.

i would really like to have contact centre visits where he is drug tested before a visit and for him to to go on a domestic abuse course/ parenting course but am I being delusional to ask for this. Does anyone else have any idea of what else I could ask for? They also mentioned a parenting app. Does anyone have any info on which one is the best

OP posts:
HavingAnOffDAy · 24/05/2024 13:22

I honestly think you need to get your mediation reviewed.

When I has having similar issues with my ex-h I had an assessment with a mediator who then confirmed (as expected) that 'we' were not suitable for mediation in connection with DC due to my ex's behaviour.

Do you have a solicitor? Surely they should be able to advise you?

Mamabird2022 · 24/05/2024 17:47

@HavingAnOffDAy i was told that it was my choice whether I did mediation because of the circumstances. The mediator said to me if I went straight to court it could cut both ways and he could be allowed unsupervised visits and what a judge says goes where in mediation I am in control. It just seemed like the better option

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page