Proof Hearing

[User1964]

I started seeing someone 6 months ago. She told me about legal cases in connection with a divorce and custody cases involving two of her children. I was hesitant to get into a relationship with her as I had just come out of 20 year controlling marriage. Still - did not listen to that inner voice and now I am deeply involved in her seemingly insurmountable legal problems.
I have lost confidence in the family court, police and social services. They have been duped 100%. Their gullibility is just unbelievable.
I don't want this thread to be about me moaning but I thought maybe someone might have some advice that may help in some way.
She does not deserve any of this. She is a sweet and kind person who has two controlling abusive ex partners who have totally conned the courts and social services. I have been spending weekends with her and her daughter (under 10) for 6 months and she is an amazing parent. Has an even temper and is fine - until she is being harassed by agencies of state who her ex partners are using to continue control and harassment. She has done some irrational things - never mistreatment of her children - which they have provoked by abusive actions and then used this as evidence she is not a fit mother.
I can get into legal specifics about where we are. There is a proof hearing imminent. Her lawyer seems to be working for them at times.
I asked social services to look at this case and have been accused by them of threatening them. That's not true. I only acquainted them with certain facts they have ignored or are simply disregarding.
I feel like I am getting drawn into this and often think of leaving the relationship but my conscience would not allow me. She is on her own with all this.
OK sorry I can't write more at the moment but will get some thoughts together for some actual questions. Thanks for reading.

i think you must remember there are 3 sides to every story. Hers, the ex’s and then the actual truth. Woth this case involving 2 ex partners I’d be wary of believing it’s all ufair to your partner.

i think after a short 6 month relationship you seem far too involved. Clearly you have met and spent time with the child already which is very early on to do so a lot of people would say.

Also, asking social services to see files seems like very much overstepping boundaries after being together only 6 months. And offering them facts they have missed is a bit much. I would suspect social services may not take kindly to this relationship and level of involvement in this case.

maybe take a step back and think about it all. What would you say to a friend if they told you the same story ?

What would you say to a friend if they told you the same story ?

I would want more details and facts to determine whether the situation is being correctly assessed.

i would more say they were far too involved in a very complicated situation in a new relationship.

Your involvement particularly with asking to see social services info is clearly hindering her case not helping.

you say you’ve come out of a long and complicated marriage. I really feel you have rebounded into another complicated relationship. Did you give yourself much time to take time for you , to be single and recover ? .

mods please delete this thread. It has been a waste of time.

Not how MN works
People can give opinions that you dont feel are useful or correct as long as they folllow Talk Guidelines.
A new Boyfriend (presumably) contacting SS to provide them with "facts" will do far more harm than good. It's nice that you want to support but make sure you don't cause even more issues than she already has

I’m sorry if you feel I’ve not helped

if you can write what you actually want answered maybe that would help.