Probate. Am I wasting my time getting a solicitor to represent me?

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My mother passed away recently and left a will. She has a considerable amount in her estate, house and liquid assets.

The problem is that the two executors, family members, cannot stand each other and I witnessed a fight between them days after my mother was buried that very nearly got physical. The verbal was horrendous. One is female and the other is male.

We have to date no information about what is going on apart from a chatty email from one of the executors that makes no sense and they didn't include a copy of the will.

I've been there in the home for two weeks. Frankly I'm appalled. Am I wasting my money on getting a solicitor to speak on behalf of me? My thinking in doing it is to get them to let them know it's serious business being an executor.

I’m sorry about your mother. The executor situation sounds very difficult. Before you spend any money on a solicitor it is worth thinking about what you actually want them to achieve for you - you need to give them more specific instructions than just “get the executors to take this seriously”. Do you want to ask for regular updates to be sent to the solicitor so you don’t have to be chasing or communicating with the executor? Do you want them to threaten to get (one of?) the executors removed and replaced by the court?

Before Grant of Probate, only the Executors are privy to the contents of the Will. They are under no obligation to divulge the contents. They do have an obligation to process the Estate in a timely fashion, but you are looking at 6-12 months depending on complexity. It is not a fast process and in addition, there is a backlog and it is taking between 9-19 weeks for Grant of Probate.

Having been Executrix for three family members, I can tell you that it does take a long time to gather, track down and check all the information / documentation. There is also a lot of waiting for other organisations to process valuations etc, transferring ownership, liquidating assets.

If you believe they are not competent you can apply to the Court for them to be removed, but it is costly.

I’m sorry to hear this, inheritance does sometime bring out the worst in people.
When my mother died, me and my step-sister were both executors: she was happy to “reserve power” as I already had POA for Mum’s affairs. We were lucky to have goodwill and cooperation though!

“Thank you for your email. I do hope that Mum’s estate can be processed by you as executor without too many problems or complications.

I was confused when you said …. In your email so perhaps you could explain further exactly what you meant?

I noticed that there was some friction between yourself and (insert name of other executor). I hope this will not prevent you both from performing the duties of executor in a timely fashion, as Mum would have wished. Perhaps it might be best if one of you reserves the right to act if you don’t feel that you can work together on this.

I look forward to hearing from you about progress with Mum’s estate.

Best wishes

www.gov.uk/applying-for-probate/if-theres-a-will

Thank you all for your replies which have been very helpful to me.

Getting a solicitor isn't the way is my conclusion. However, I do know that information is being given freely to some beneficiaries and not others and it's this I find upsetting, especially as I would like to bid for an auction item - said beneficiaries are not willing to give me the details.

For the benefit of doubt, I don't live in the area, Northern Ireland. I have had to travel from England to provide end of life care/respite care and attend my lovely mum's funeral. I did organise the deposition of her clothes, bags for the charity bins and her best clothes to charities within her town, plus clear and pack expensive items for auction.

The latter was done after her funeral, I hasten to add.

Not sure anything should be auctioned until probable granted?

Why are they auctioning an item that you would like? Couldn't you just ask to keep it and the value of it taken as part of your share of inheritance (eg get a little less cash)?

My understanding is nothing should be sold/removed from the home until probate is granted, and contents of the will made clear. I think chattels (eg clothes to goodwill) are fine, but nothing of monetary value or where there might be others that want it. Just out of interest how are the executives related? Siblings?

I'm very sorry for your loss, OP. Everyone's emotions are heightened at the moment, including your own, which is only natural. With that in mind - and I mean this very kindly - you need to stand back and give the executors some time. The amount of work involved is staggering - I estimate that I averaged 3 hours per week for 6 months, when I was executor for my DM, and that was a pretty simple estate. It's not just sorting the probate - it's all the bank accounts, correspondence, house utilities. I sent hundreds of emails, spent hours on the phone to banks. Everything is harder when you are not the account holder and, though banks supposedly have bereavement teams, they vary wildly in how helpful they actually are. Assuming that the executors are also close relatives of your mother, they will be dealing with all this while also processing their own grief.

I would have been upset and angry to have someone chasing me up after a couple of weeks. If I had received a passive-aggressive email with the wording that @INeedVitaminSeasuggests, that would have had the opposite of the intended effect. They don't have to tell you anything at this stage, and they don't have to give you anything not specifically bequeathed by your mother, so it is foolish to aggravate them.

My suggestion would be to offer help (in addition to what you have already done), instead of veiled criticism. And make a specific enquiry about the auction, in that context. They are much more likely to be motivated to share information with you if you are helping them, than if you are sending them passive-aggressive chasers.

This early stage I would hold back on getting your own legal representation. Annoying and upsetting the executors is counter productive. They are not getting paid and won't appreciate you chasing them. You would have to pay your own legal fees, they wouldn't come from the estate, it's something to bear in mind and get very expensive.

I am genuinely surprised that you found my suggested draft to be “passive-aggressive” - I would find it a little formal but perfectly pleasant and polite. I’d assumed from the OP that they don’t have a particularly close relationship with the executors.

I hope this will not prevent you both from performing the duties of executor in a timely fashion, as Mum would have wished

That sentence alone would elicit a loud Fuck Off from me. The "as Mum would have wished" is a really shitty, emotionally manipulative thing to say to someone who is presumably grieving, and who has just been landed with a thankless and unpaid giant pile of admin.

I would suggest OP emails the executor to whom she is closest and says, "I know being an executor is a huge amount of work. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help - I want to support you and [other executor] in any way I can. I'd really appreciate being kept in the loop about how Mum's things are being disposed of, and if I can help with this at all, I'm really happy to do so".