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Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

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Original poster

Chances of keeping our home - separation

7 replies

Heybearu · 27/04/2024 09:23

Hi,
My husband is leaving and I'm so worried for my kids particularly the eldest who has autism.

She is going to really struggle with the moving between two homes as it is. All I can afford is a part buy part rent flat out of our area away from her friend's and school.

I was hoping to ask at mediation for us to keep the family home for the next few years until she has completed her education. I think this would be the best for her wellbeing and help set her up for a more positive future.

We have some debt but my proposition would be we remortgage the house to encompass the marital debt, and then in 6-8 years sell the house and share the equity at that point.

Is this complete piece in the sky?
In just desperate to do my absolute best for my kids and I feel if we can stay nearer friends and school it will help them so much.

OP posts:

Original poster

Heybearu · 27/04/2024 09:27

My husband's income is 4x mine so he would realistically be able to afford another small mortgage as well as being named on ours. Or he could comfortably rent in the local area. The kids will be with me most of the time probably 70/30

OP posts:

OnceUponAThread · 27/04/2024 09:38

If he agrees to it, you might be able to do it, but you're highly unlikely to be able to force it through a court.

Some things to consider.

what is the pensions situation? You might be able to swap equity for pension if his is significantly larger.
how much equity are we talking about?
while he might be able to take on a second mortgage, it's hideous from a tax and stamp duty perspective. Plus where will he get a deposit from?
do you earn enough to take over the mortgage on your own? That would be more palatable and increase your chances of staying in the FMH.
with the disparity in earnings, and a child with autism, you might get a higher proportion of the house (if sold). This may leave you in a better position than you're envisaging.
if you do a deal where you stay in the house for 6-8 years what is your plan. Property prices will have risen and you'll be in a worse position. How will you house yourself?

Unicorntearsofgin · 27/04/2024 09:49

It is possible if your husband agreed but I caveat most courts prefer a clean break.

Wouid there be a possibility of you maximising your income to buy him out or downsizing to something suitable? You will have far more chance of support for a year than 6-8 years.

Sorry this is happening. Divorce is shit and ultimately everyone’s living standards drop as the family income has to support two households rather than one.

Original poster

Heybearu · 27/04/2024 10:08

Ok thank you for the advice.

This has come out of the blue so i hadn't financially prepared which is frustrating.

His pension will be larger than mine but I'm not sure y how much so will have to ask for disclosure.

I can try to increase my income but it will never be to the point of being able to buy him out.

Ok time to plan for the flat and how I can help her get through this.

Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:

JustAnotherLawyer2 · 27/04/2024 18:04

See a solicitor.

The courts will want to ensure all of you are housed adequately - and if that means keeping the current house until your child is 18, that is a distinct possibility, especially given her additional needs.

solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk

Original poster

Heybearu · 29/04/2024 23:12

Thank you
It is all about stability for her,
Ok I will see what is advised.

OP posts:

Collaborate · 30/04/2024 09:09

OnceUponAThread · 27/04/2024 09:38

If he agrees to it, you might be able to do it, but you're highly unlikely to be able to force it through a court.

Some things to consider.

what is the pensions situation? You might be able to swap equity for pension if his is significantly larger.
how much equity are we talking about?
while he might be able to take on a second mortgage, it's hideous from a tax and stamp duty perspective. Plus where will he get a deposit from?
do you earn enough to take over the mortgage on your own? That would be more palatable and increase your chances of staying in the FMH.
with the disparity in earnings, and a child with autism, you might get a higher proportion of the house (if sold). This may leave you in a better position than you're envisaging.
if you do a deal where you stay in the house for 6-8 years what is your plan. Property prices will have risen and you'll be in a worse position. How will you house yourself?

I'm pretty sure you're not a family solicitor as no family lawyer would say OP is unlikely to be able to force this through.

There is simply not emough information, but having an autistic child means that the court will take her needs in to account very carefully. One of my children is autistic (now an adult) and I understand how difficult such a move could be.

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