Long post as didn't want to drip feed!
My DM (now in her mid 70's) married a man who has exhibited more and more bullying and coercive controlling behavior over the years. Let's call him E.
He is now quite ill with stage 4 cancer. She has looked after him for 2 years, endless hospital appointments, prescriptions, meals, intimate care etc. This was in the home she bought with our Ddad (who passed away when he was in his mid 30s).
Obviously E now has rights to the house legally through marriage. DM regrets marrying him but feels she has had a duty to look after him. Think of the most demanding toddler and double it, that's him 24 hrs a day.
He is now in hospital recovering from a broken leg (fell trying to get to bucket to pee in the night). It is likely he will die in the next 12 months and he wants to come home. DMum insistent that she has had enough and that he now needs nursing care (NHS have said they will pay due to high level needs). The abuse had got to the point where he recently threw a jug of pee all over her in a fit of anger. He also threw his walking frame down the room. We got social services involved at Christmas and they did talk to her but she finds it difficult to admit it is domestic abuse. They can see what's going on, she just says he is difficult and angry because of pain. She won't report anything to police and told SS she wasn't a safeguarding risk.
Now, crux of the matter - We know he has the right to come back home, but she also has the right to refuse to care for him (she is conflicted about this, despite the abuse and makes excuses for him). SS said she could just choose to walk out and then they would put an emergency care plan in place. She could stay with either me or my sibling. SS can see the situation for what it is and even said they would house her.
The legal question is: would she lose any rights to the house by walking out and refusing to be his carer any more? One of the care team told her it puts her at a disadvantage legally.
The house is her only asset, she's worried he might do something spiteful regarding it - or change his will and give everything of his away. She's not bothered about money but really the house was paid for by her since the 1970s. He's never contributed to the mortgage as far as I know. I know this doesn't mean much legally.
She wants to leave it to my sister and I. She said she would put up with caring for him if it meant keeping the house. We would rather she had a life but can see her POV.
What are her rights? Does it put her in a bad position if she was to leave the property and refuse to care for him. He's an absolute brute, very spiteful, very controlling and jealous. Doesn't care a fig for any of her needs. Shouts at her loudly in the ward (hospital want him out as he's rude and demanding - apparently one night he rang the bell over 30 times).
Caring for him means she can't attend to her own health needs (overdue operation), she can't eat or sleep properly. She's just had enough. At 76 and after so many years of living with domestic abuse, who can blame her.
I have asked her to speak to a solicitor but she keeps burying her head in the sand.
Any advice on her legal situation is most welcome. We just need some facts so she can make decisions. She wouldn't leave lightly, she still cares about him (despite everything he has done) but she has reached the end of her tether.
She's been such an independent woman, it's been horrible watching him diminish her. Just want her to have a few years where she gets to live her own life and not be a slave in her own home.