Final hearing - child contact

[Mama1026]

I have a final hearing coming up - my children are 9 and 6. My 9 year old has said (to cafcass) she does not want contact and the judges have said I do not need to drag her kicking and screaming. My 6 year old is happy to see her dad, currently supervised 2 hours every other weekend.
Last hearing he refused to do any courses and disagreed with cafcass that he needs minimum contact 6 months supervised and domestic violence awareness course.

What happens next?!

Well I doubt it will go well on his part, presumably the courses were suggestions, but obviously will depend on what the contact centre say, if that’s where he sees DC.

The thing is, he's so fixated on me that he's not set out what his wishes are. It's just going against what I've set out or what's been recommended for the girls.

My experience was, if it remains conflict for over 2 years then it will never settle down. So I got right out, I moved a long way. Peace

You moved away? This sounds so appealing 😂

I’ve just had similar and the court will not look favourably on him not doing the courses because he feels he doesn’t have to - and being fixated on you - narcissist.

the red herring will be the supervised contact and feedback from them potentially as guessing supervised contact can’t go on forever. How does your 6 year old feel now. What is he asking the court for?

This is the thing! He's not mentioned any proposal because his statement is aimed at bringing me down! It's ridiculous! They've said I don't need to drag my eldest as she would be kicking and screaming which is good but my youngest is okay going - slightly up and down but by all means happy! The courses won't change him as he is vile I don't think it should go past supervised but that's not a long term solution!

Do you think he will bother to turn up for supervised contact?

Yes definitely! He tries to pretend he's the worst best dad but doesn't do anything for them! He doesn't work and too much time on his hands! It's more so for his girlfriend and his family to benefit from seeing the girls

Is it the caring dads course?

No he's been recommended by cafcass to do a domestic violence awareness course and solicitor has recommended a perpetrator course

Yes the caring dads course is one of those - also recommended by cafcass. 17 week course.

Wow that's a long course! I feel like he shouldn't have access until he's done something but supervised is the best thing I guess! I hope he f*s up during visits so it goes to indirect which is also recommended by cafcass - should he mess up it's to go to indirect

I found they were very very lead by the cafcass report. It’s so stressful I wish you lots of luck.

Thanks you so much for the support! It's been on going for over a year and I feel like he won't give up! He is a disgusting person honestly! I've been granted a pso so that's a good start!

As soon as he finds something/someone else to fixate on he should go away I remember womans aid being extremely concerned about my ex and his fixation on me he hasn't shown up since Christmas and before that it was the previous March he is very enmeshed with his latest fiance and long may they continue

I wish that was the case but it isn't unfortunately!! I'm glad you're out of that situation now!!

I'm mostly out we still live in fear of him losing his interest and fixating back in our direction my one son is very angry at him but I think if he turned on the charm he would see him again despite all he has done

That's so sad! It really isn't fair on the children because of how vile their parent can behave! I always hope he loses interest because he is no good for the girl he really is an awful person!