Advice needed ex won't return da

[firsttimemum1234567]

So to cut a long story short, ex has ds on weekends and ds lives with me. I got a call from social services saying a report has been made by ex saying he's concerned about ds in my care making wild claims that I'm a drug user and prostitute which is completely untrue and absurd. Social worker said herself that it didn't make any sense and told me to try and mediate with him but this call was prior to ex saying he's not giving ds back. He's completely refusing, my mum even called begging for my son back but he's saying no. I luckily still have all evidence of previous domestic violence, he bit me, threw my phone in my face, years ago.

He believes he'll get full custody from his false claims and just plainly not returning ds to me. His actions are erratic and I believe he must be going through some mental health issues of some sort to do all this. He doesn't even care if ds isn't at preschool. What's the quickest way to get my darling son back?

Oh gosh. I don’t have any idea. Maybe call the police?

this happened with my nephew but this was like 25 years ago and because the dad was on the birth certificate it was deemed civil so they had to go through court. It has probably changed since then

I’m just wanting to send you so much love. I can’t imagine what you’re going through and I am sending hugs too ♥️♥️♥️

Is there a court order re access, or just worked out between you?

Is your ex on the birth certificate? Is the custody arrangement court ordered?

Thank you for replies.

There is no court order and he is on the birth certificate. I really regret putting him on, I had the chance not to but I thought at the time he was a sane and normal person

If yes and no to above then court might be needed.

Does ex work? Will he be using childcare and you can just pick up ds from there? He can't stop you without a court order preventing you.

He's saying he's quitting his job to look after DS 'full time'. Even though he goes pre school and he doesn't drive so he won't drop DS there

At the very least tell the police you want a welfare check. Mention dv and his mh. If ds isn't happy when they call they can bring him back.

I already did yesterday because DS was meant to come back yesterday but police just did a welfare check and said it was fine

I also did do a full report on all the DV

They said based on what I'm saying he'll be arrested soon but I'm waiting for them to contact me again for a statement and then after that they said he will be arrested

you need to seek an emergency order, in court, asap. See a solicitor.

You need legal advice. My ex did a similar thing. I had to go to court to get my son back. I made a child arrangements application in person, asking for my son to be returned to my care and for a formal schedule for contact. I managed to get a hearing two weeks later and the judge ordered him to be returned to my care pending further hearings. There were then several more hearings, fact finding, cafcass report etc before the final order. My ex was a jerk who had money to burn though. Hopefully yours will roll over once he's in front of a judge. Good luck.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c100-application-under-the-children-act-1989-for-a-child-arrangements-prohibited-steps-specific-issue-section-8-order-or-to-vary-or-discharge

You need to speak to a solicitor and instigate court proceedings as soon as possible. There are delays in many places, so the sooner the better. He will be refusing to take him to nursery, as you know you can puck him up then. He has parental responsibility, so unless you get something officially sorted, he could continue messing your son about.