Ex wants to see child less

[littleheartsx]

My ex works 4 on 4 off he takes our son overnight for his first two nights off, so every two nights in eight. We’ve had this plan since January and he has only taken him a handful of times.

He now wants to reduce it to two nights one week and then one night the next - he said he wants to get more long lies.

I don’t want to agree to this as I work nightshift and think I do enough as a single parent and deserve the two nights I have. I have bent over backwards for this “man” I have kept our son this far as his sleep is horrendous, now it is starting to resolve I am happy to stick to our original plan of two overnights.

I know I can’t legally force him to take our child overnight - the only thing I could do is not be home when he tries to return him on his second night and that way he would need to keep him. Obviously I won’t do that - or will I lol!!

He is threatening me with lawyers letter , mediation etc, what I want to know is can we even do mediation for wanting to see a child less?? Will a lawyer even touch him? As I am not withholding contact at all!!

Mediation could be really helpful here. I’d agree to that if he pays for it.

Yes you can & should do mediation here. If he wants to reduce his contact time then you can’t do anything to stop him, but you can then amend for CMS purposes and he may have to pay you more to reflect the change.

Nothing you can do if he wants to see him less and I suspect if you are not in when he goes to return him he won't have him at all. Let him pay for mediation if he wants you are not losing anything.

Poor child, I hope he doesn't get wind that his 2 parents are essentially fighting to not have him. Please don't just not be in that wound be horrendous for the lad. Mediation seems pointless- no one can make him have him more but if he wants to pay for it I suppose he can crack on. In the mean time make sure the child maintenance reflects how often he actually has him

Agree to mediation, make him say out loud, in front of the mediator that he wants to see his child even less than the little amount of time he already does.

Ask him to repeat that.

Ask him if he wants his child to grow up knowing that his father wanted to reduce as much as possible the amount of time he spent with his child.

Your ex is obviously a piece of shit and a useless parent. You can't force him to have his child more, but mediation may make him realise that what he's asking for is despicable, or it may not 🤷‍♀️

He’s one years old of course I wouldn’t just not be in. And I am not fighting not to have him, I am fighting for his dad to take him the nights we have agreed. Essentially his dad wants to have more free time to go out etc I want to have the two nights so I can catch up on sleep, washings and everything else that comes with the default parent. The only person missing out on anything is him, as our son will realise as he gets older.

I will do mediation I just don’t know how much it will help, he barely sees him as it is, it feels cruel that he would want to reduce that time even more.