Adding my name to my son's child bank account

[Jeany1967]

A bit of advice needed please.

I am separated from my husband and we are soon to be divorced. It has not been very amicable so far. While we were married he took care of all things financial, but now we're separated I feel like I need to get a hold on things. While we were married he set up a child's savings account for our son and only put his name on it. I didn't query it at the time and just let him do it. My family and friends pay small amounts into this savings account for my son's birthdays and Christmases etc. He doesn't really have a relationship with his family so it's literally just my side of the family that contribute to this account.

Fast forward 5 years, we're now separated, (soon to be divorced) and I feel as though I should be on this account. Especially now we're no longer together. I just don't trust him with money (he was very controlling and secretive while we were together and I just feel like I should be able to have control over this (as he is as much my son as his).

I've spoken to the bank and they told me to go to my local branch with proof of ID and something with my address on it and they will add me. I did this today and they are now saying that they need him to either come in with me (not possible) or sign something to give permission. He has been so difficult during our separation and will not do anything I ask so I know this will be the same.

Does anyone know where I stand on this please? If I ask him and he says no, can I go to the bank and insist on this? Does he have to allow me, seeing as I'm his mummy? Or because he was the one that set it up and his name has been the only one on the account since opening can he refuse? I really don't trust him with money and I'm worried that he might be taking money out of the account too.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Honestly if he’s difficult and likely to cause problems then just open another account for your family to put money into going forward.

If he was the adult who set the account up then unfortunately the bank is correct, he either needs to go with you or sign something to give permission for your name to be added.

As pp said, you will need his permission to be added to the account.

Make sure that account is listed in your financial assets when tying up the divorce, at least so that it is evidenced as in existence and the balance.

I used to work in savings complaints for a bank. It depends on the individual bank’s internal policies/t&c’s. If I received your complaint for the bank I work for, I’d add a dispute block onto the account, preventing it from being used until the child was 16 years of age and could take ID into branch to withdraw the existing cash themselves.

make a complaint to the bank to get written confirmation of what their policy is and what action they’re willing to take. You can’t demand your name be added. They might tell you at first that you can’t complain if you’re not a customer, that’s not true, demand to speak with a manager if you’re told that.

As others suggested, also open a new account with your name attached and get all future payments paid into that.

Thank you all for your responses.

I will definitely be opening up a new bank account for our son for the future (as well as one for our other son who is 3) to avoid any further issues going forward.

I am just concerned about this original account. My soon to be ex husband has already withdrawn over £3k from it a couple of years back claiming we were in financial difficulties and we needed it to help us stay afloat. As previously mentioned, he took care of all things financial so I just believed him. I'm worried he may take out more money (as he's always saying he's struggling) but I'm also wary that he may be hiding money there to possibly avoid declaring it to the courts when we have our final financial court hearing in July and we have to split our assets.

This is also why I wanted to be added to this account - I just don't trust him and I feel as his mother I should be on the account.

Even if you take a birth certificate for the child into the bank?

Jot down where all family money is, and make sure you disclose this information when the time is right..he'd be committing fraud if he hides accounts.

By the way, if some of the money was from a government trust fund ,your exh cannot withdraw that amount.

Thank you!

I have my son's birth certificate, my driving license and passport and they still say my STBXH needs to sign a form to allow me access.

There is no way he'll allow me to do this. Even if he isn't doing anything dodgy, he will just be difficult and refuse this.

I will definitely be listing the bank account in our final financial court hearing. If I do, could he not just transfer money out of it and say that there is less then there is or would he need the last 12 month of statements?

Yes I'd do this and then also set up an account for your son and give your family and friends the details in advance of his birthday.

You need to open an account yourself and tell all your family and friends the new details.

Alternatively, you could ask your ex to transfer all the money into a junior ISA that neither of you can access.

Thank you!

I think a junior ISA is a good option so neither of us can touch it. I just want to make sure that his money is safe for him as he grows