Sexual assault and defamation

[potofpins]

NC for this.

A young contact (YC) has been in touch with me, very distressed. A couple of weeks ago she was sexually assaulted by someone whom I know from my involvement in a community group. (YC is not part of this community group) YC was coerced or forced into a sexual act that she didn't consent to. I've listened a lot over the past days, tried to reassure her and offered some suggestions about what she might do next, including speaking to someone I know who has worked with rape and DV victims. YC has reported the situation to the police and asked for her allegation to go on record but doesn't want to prosecute and so hasn't been formally interviewed.

YC contacted me because she wanted me to ensure that those in the community group are warned about the individual concerned. The alleged assailant is someone whom I and others have experienced as problematic on a number of occasions though not with regard to sexual misconduct.

My friend who has worked for years with women who've suffered DV has advised YC and me not to say anything to anyone about what's happened. She says she's seen too many men accused of rape, sexual assault and DV threaten their victims with a defamation suit. YC has taken this warning to heart and is now desperate to avoid trouble and has told me not to tell anyone.

I'm in the awful position of feeling reasonably certain that someone whom I encounter every few weeks in a group where there are some potentially vulnerable people is a sexual predator. Are accusations of defamation common? How can safeguarding work if no one dares speak out?

The key point here is that the victim has instructed you not to tell anyone. You have to respect that, in terms of not disclosing the alleged assault on her.

Speak to the safeguarding lead of the group, to say you are aware of an alleged assault by the member, but do not give any details that could identify the victim, and do not share the allegation beyond the safeguarding lead.

Safeguarding works because some conversations are protected by qualified privilege. That means you can't be sued for defamation based on what you say in such a conversation provided you weren't acting out of malice. In your situation, you can share what you've been told with whoever is responsible for safeguarding in the community group, but you can't share it with the group generally. As the previous poster says, be careful not to say anything that would identify the victim.

Thank you for this, prh47bridge. The community group is really informal and there is no committee, let alone a safeguarding lead. It started years ago as a group of people who get together to play a sport and has morphed into something wider. There's a fortnightly general cafe or pub meet-up and in between various people initiate events mostly centred on sport. It's all volunteer run.

The alleged assailant is part of this group. YC lives 60 miles away and has nothing to do with it, so there's little chance of her being known to anyone in the group. She contacted me because she knows I have some contact with her assailant. They met at an event in her city, had a date or two (during which she realised that he knew me) and then he attacked her. Obviously whoever I decide to talk to will have no idea of who the victim is.

We do get quite a range of ages, including parents who bring along their teenagers and young people. I'm going to have to think about which of the key people who organise things I could talk to in confidence.

I now see how offenders can keep getting away with it. I never understood why people don't speak out before, but I do now. It's really difficult.

I agree you support her and it's her call to make.

However as a general prevention measure, appoint individuals from the group to provide disclosures or equivalent checks.

Think about your responsibilities as a group and that that entails and how far that goes.

No individual meet ups in club name without a designated checked, safeguard person.

All parents responsible for under 18s.

You can't control what goes in outwith the group activities, but can make sure that attendees are as safe as possible.

Good advice. Remember that you have always had a sexual predator in the group; the difference is that you know about him now. And there will be others, either now or in the future. You need processes that protect YP from the predators you don't know about.

I don't think you need to make a huge deal. Just a process where there are people who will be present if activities taking place in groups name.

It's like I run a community post resilience group.

So was resilience in covid, now a book club and lunches, open to all. I can't stop people meeting up outwith, but I can ensure people are safe at those specific events.

And that we are alert for vulnerable people and like as @prh47bridge says share anything that happens under your group to the appropriate safeguarding avenues.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow much better put than me. There are always allegations, don't witch hunt, just ensure what you are doing is safe s it can be..

I get it becomes blurred though.

You hear the allegation, miss g comes to community event and is drunk and crying and leaves with him.

But they have left that group event, that then moves into adult safeguarding, police to do anonymous check, adult social work etc

So was resilience in covid, now a book club and lunches, open to all. I can't stop people meeting up outwith, but I can ensure people are safe at those specific events.

This is very much what has happened with our group. Started off with a few people in the local area getting together to promote their rowing hobby, spun off into a walking group and a canoeing group, a very competitive petanque group (now playing internationally!), various cycling groups (from gentle to fast and furious), a book group, a 'random days out doing stuff' group, pub night and a canoeing group. And then on top of that people propose lunches and trips to festivals and birthday dos and barbecues and fishing trips. It's brought a lot of random people who might not otherwise have met or bonded together. I'm going to see if I can get the six or seven people who do most of the organising together and talk to them about the eternal possibility of having a sexual predator in our midst.

Not sure whether to identify the person or not. I don't think anyone would be massively surprised. The words grifter, opportunist and narcissist have been used to describe him by various people. My only fear is that someone will talk or confront him and then things could get difficult.