Can I refuse meditation before court ?

[Ellarose23]

So my ex wants to take me to court (see my last thread on the reason why)
I keep hearing about meditation, which you’ve to sit with your ex and a meditator to try come to an agreement. The reason why he’s taking me to court is because we can’t agree , and if he’s taking drugs , can I really make that choice of just giving dd to him in meditation ? Will it be held against me if I didn’t go just because I know it’ll end in argument and we won’t agree so I don’t see a point . Although I just feel uncomfortable around him too . The judge will ask why I refused , will saying because I didn’t wanna speak or argue and couldn’t agree , will this affect the case ?

@Ellarose23 unless it's an urgent application you have to attend a Mediation Information Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before being able to submit an application. This will just be between you and the chosen mediator.

If he goes ahead with it, explain to the mediator what your concerns are, they will decide if mediation is suitable.

From bitter experience, try and keep it out of court if you can.

@Problemnumber99 As it is her ex who wants to apply for an order, he is the one who needs to attend an MIAM.

@Ellarose23 You don't have to attend mediation. However, the court may ask you why and it may be held against you. You don't have to reach an agreement with him if you do attend mediation.

@prh47bridge sorry, I meant when he does, she'll be asked to attend one too. Better the mediator decides mediation isn't right than refusing to attend at all

I opted for shuttle mediation due to abuse. Same time, same venue, same mediator just different rooms. Is that an option? Mediator has to shuttle between us.

I am also suggesting agreeing to mediation makes you look reasonable. Shuttle mediation means you don’t have to see your ex as you are in different rooms and the mediator shuttles between 5he two rooms.

Refusing mediation shows the courts you may be the problem and that you’re not open to trying to fix any issues and move forward to having a healthier situation for your child(ren)

mediation can be done over zoom and it can be helpful.

This is correct. Attend OP because its a good look for you. If you can't agree then it will go to court, court like it when parents have tried at least (once).

Thanks everyone . Il go when asked . I just know we won’t agree , though 😩

@Ellarose23 sometimes you just have to jump through the hoops to prove to everyone what you said at the beginning was correct.

Before any joint mediation takes place you will be invited for a sole session with the mediator (a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting or MIAM). He has to go to one before he can issue court proceedings but you will also be invited to one if he wants to mediate with you. That meeting will take place just with you and the mediator. You can explain to the mediator privately during that meeting that you have serious safeguarding concerns about his drug taking. It is unlikely the mediator will consider your case is suitable for mediation once you have explained the concerns. You can then confirm to the court you went to a MIAM and it was deemed not suitable.