Should I take it back to court?

[NowWhat2023]

My daughter is 5, diagnosed with ASD, she also presents with anxiety in school&home (afraid of losing things as small as a piece of paper and always needs the home sign up on the class social story). Her dad doesn’t believe she had ASD as he thinks I’ve misled professionals and she doesn’t present with anxiety or asd while with him - this is despite him having no contact with any professional (nursery,school,hv,gp etc). She see him most weekends since 2021, court ordered however this was made when she was initially referred for assessment, but he can go up to 3weeks with zero contact with her.

The court order states that following her first year in school and should she be settled in school that she spend 3 continuous weeks with her dad. Because she is often anxious going to her dads and unsettled when coming back I’ve suggested 3 one week or 2 ten days, the former of which we have done before. Not ideal but better than 21 days. He has refused and keeps stating what he wants and saying our daughter will just have to get used to it. Also not much point in trying to talk much more about it as when he wants something there’s no leeway.

I’m thinking about taking it back to court but just wanted an outsiders advice on this.

Just bumping here, hope you get someone with more knowledge than me re Court. If she’s already done over a week/10 days with ex and been fine, I don’t see Court changing what has already been agreed, I presume it’s the summer holidays that are to be shared 3 weeks each.

@Mindymomo no she has only done a week at most with him and the last time being Easter ‘23. After which she is unsettled and takes a few days for her to settle, this has been discussed with him before. And yes it is the summer holidays that are to be 3weeks each, I’m not disagreeing with the amount of time I don’t have the strength to if I’m honest but I do disagree with the pattern in which it is done.

Normal "being unsettled" may not sway the court to change the order, but if the diagnosis is a change of circumstances (in that she is worse than she was when the order was made) then that might be grounds for taking it back to court.

@Collaborate the diagnosis is a change as it occurred after the final hearing. I don’t believe cafcass even looking considered this but had suggested no stays longer than 7days but the judge went with every other week and half of holidays

Also not normal being unsettled. For instance with school she will wake every couple of hours worried about her water bottle. With her dad it’s a lot of saying she is scared to go but she isn’t very good at communicating what’s wrong

@Collaborate maybe you can help.. the court order says ‘if DC is settled in school this change is to occur’ but I’m confused as to who decides that she is or isnt settled and what settled actually means. If a child shows anxiety in school is that still counted as settled 🤷🏽‍♀️

Probably worth taking it back of the diagnosis is since the order. There is also a difference of opinion about whether she is settled in school. A judge will have to decide all of that.

Yes I think going back to court will as the diagnosis came 2yrs after the final order was made.

With regards to disagreeing on if she is settled in school it isn’t the case. My ex is basically saying the order means when DD starts school not when she is settled. But the order says ‘upon x being settled in their first year at school’, this to me doesn’t mean upon her commencing school. I’ve spoken to a few others about it, who agree with how I read this, and by definition settled in doesnt mean starting. But I don’t know if this is something that is usually put into orders which just means starting school