What does it mean to be an executor to a will? Complicated situation.

[Sleeplesnights]

I could really use some advice please.
My dad informed me around 8 years ago that myself and my brother would be executors to my mum and dad's joint will. Sadly my dad passed away almost 5 years ago. Here's when it gets tricky.

My brother and I are NC. We've been very on and off for about 15 years now,my dad was aware of this and shortly before he died from cancer,he asked if I was still ok with being an executor with my brother? I said it may be a bit difficult and if it was possible to maybe make it myself and my aunt? Who we are both close to. I'm not sure if he managed to change it but the way his illness progressed,I don't think he would have got around to changing it.

Since my dad's death,things have become very stressful. I've not spoken to brother since my dad's funeral. I've no new contact details since they moved and they've changed phone numbers. I really need to try and talk to mum but she finds all this upsetting. Obviously I'm hoping there's many many years left in mum but I'm worried when the time comes,it's going to make a horrible time even worse isn't it,when my brother won't even talk to me? 😞😞😞

Your mum can make a new will and appoint new executors surely? My mum did after my dad died. I have no legal knowledge apart from making joint wills and appointing executors.

We went one removed from our sons and appointed a nephew from each side. It takes the heat out of the situation and removes that problem when you're already grieving.

Does Dad's will do anything significantly more involved than pass his estate to your Mum?

Is there significant value in the estate other than their home.

No nothing more.

OK. So if you're Mum's comfortable and has what she needs then there's not necessarily any urgency. It's not uncommon to find a situation where, upon second death, the first estate was never administered.

Do you know where the original will is?

If Mum's will is a mirror of Dad's then she should think about making another, or at least executing a codicil so the executors are people who can work together.

Thank you so much. I've no idea where will is but I need to bite the bullet and have a chat with mum at some point I think.

My understanding is that there is no such thing as a joint will. Your parents probably had mirror wills.
You should administer your dad's will now to save any potential complications later.
Your brother can remove himself as an executor but if everything is going to your mum it might not be too tricky to administer the will without having to liaise with him too often.

Yes sorry, meant a mirror will. I'm predicting my brother will be very difficult and I can't see him willingly stepping down as an executor.

If your DM makes a new will, the. Your brother doesn't have any say in 'stepping down'. It's her choice who to appoint.

But if your dad's estate is all going to your mum there is very little for the executors to do. And it's better to complete the estate now, rather than do both when your mum dies.
This is a tricky situation and is always harder because your dealing with so many other things. But it's definitely best to sorry our your dad's affairs now rather than delay the problem.
First step is to get the will!