Residency, “lives with” and a dickhead ex.

[Daveandroger]

My son is 14 and has an EHCP. He will need careful handling when moving on to post 16 education. His father lives in another county and 90 mins drive away.

His dad is an alcoholic dickhead. He means well but he also resents every penny maintenance he pays and has helpfully told son that at 16 he can live with him. This would be a DISASTER. He hasn’t got the first clue how to deal with my son and his special needs. He has highlighted a local college, and in any event the placement for his post 16 education would have to be sorted on his EHCP by the September before - when my son will be still 15.

How can I stop this nonsense and make sure that my son CANNOT go to live with his father?
We don’t have any formalised child access arrangements and instead have worked on him doing EOW loosely.

I imagine it's court. At your son's age he should have a say but his special needs should also be taken into account. I'd speak with the safeguarding lead at your sons current school

The court can only make a "lives with" order for a child over 16 in exceptional circumstances. You need to consult a solicitor.

Thanks. What represents “exceptional circumstances”?