Criminal Absentee Father

[ParaJay]

Dear Mums Net community,

I hope this post finds you in good spirits. Today, I am reaching out on behalf of my sister, who is facing an unexpected and challenging situation involving the absent father of her daughter. Twelve years after disappearing without a trace during her pregnancy, he has resurfaced, and the circumstances have taken a legal turn that we never anticipated. Seeking your advice and insights, we find ourselves in uncharted waters, grappling with the complexities of safeguarding my niece while navigating a legal landscape that involves a father who has been absent for over a decade.

The Background:

When my sister was five months pregnant, the father of her child vanished, leaving her to navigate the challenges of single motherhood. My niece has been brought up in a loving family environment with support from us all. My niece received no birthday cards, no financial support—just radio silence for 12 long years. Suddenly, he reappeared, expressing a desire for contact. My neice has no idea about him and has never mentioned or asked about him The situation took a more serious turn when he requested mediation, a request my sister refused due to his violent history, which included homophobic attacks, drug convictions and multiple assaults. Consequently, the matter has landed in court, where he is pushing to be officially recognised on the birth certificate and gain joint parental control.to add to all this, she has had several threatening messages from his partner and stalking behaviour from them both. she has moved house because of this. it was reported to the police but as family courts are dealing they cannot get involved

Seeking Guidance:

In this tumultuous time, we are turning to the Mums Net community for guidance, support, and any advice you may have to offer on:

1. Legal Representation: If you've been through a similar situation, could you recommend a reliable solicitor with experience to help navigate the complexities of this case?
2. Safeguarding Measures: How can we ensure the safety and well-being of my niece, given the father's violent history? Are there specific legal measures or steps we should be aware of?
3. Establishing Paternity After 12 Years: Has anyone faced a situation where an absent parent sought legal recognition and joint parental control after such a prolonged absence? What steps were taken, and what were the outcomes?
4. Support for the Child: How can we best support my niece emotionally during this challenging time, considering the sudden reappearance of a father she has never known?

Our primary concern is the well-being of my niece, and with your collective wisdom, we hope to make the best decisions for her future. Evidently, this is taking a severe mental and physical strain on my sister, hence myself reaching out. Thank you for taking the time to read our story

He is her rather. I find it highly surprising that she never showed any curiosity.about him. Do you think it is the fathers new partner that is driving the contact now? Do they have children?
As regards court, a 12 year old is old enough to have their wishes taken into account.Has her father said what sort of contact he's after?

Thank you for the reply, no she’s never asked about her biological father. Obviously it’s a topic that I think we’re going to have to approach soon. Yes the new partner has a child, it’s just strange how it’s come all of a sudden after such a long absence. He’s never met her.
well the request from his solicitors is he wants joint custody.

There is no such thing as parental control in law. He might get parental responsibility. That gives him the right to a say in a few things (her education, medical treatment, any change of name), but it doesn't give him control.

Your niece's wishes and feelings regarding contact will be taken into account and will be a major part of the decision. Even if contact is awarded, after being absent for 12 years the best he can hope for is indirect contact initially, and he may not get anything.

Your niece has the right to know about her biological family and have her father named on the birth certificate.

Raise your safeguarding concerns if in court if you have evidence to back them up.

Parental responsibility is actually very limited, unless you are in Scotland.

Has your sister done a Claire’s law and Sarah’s law requests with the police?

Is he on birth certificate? Maybe stonewall and make him establish this. Don't do mediation. Have a solicitor and get everything through court. The daughters wishes and protection should be paramount.

Since he is pushing to be named on the birth certificate, he clearly isn't.

He won't get joint custody, or whatever the term is. After 12 years of absence if expect he'll either get indirect contact (letters, emails etc) or nothing at all and the daughter can decide herself.

I would be very tempted to open a case with CMS though for maintenance. If he's decided he wants to be in her life he can also pay what he owes. It wouldn't surprise me if the sheer threat of CMS got him backing out of the whole court thing anyway.

First and foremost, can you produce evidence of his convictions?
Secondly, I’m going to give you the name of an exemplary barrister- one I’ve used in my own PR case whose expertise I trust implicitly. He is phenomenal (and an incredibly nice person! We need nice people). I suggest you invest in his sound advice and guidance: Nicholas Anderson at 1KBW.

Courts in this country will make head rolling decisions that do not benefit the child. I’ve lived it. I’ve learned it. In this case, you need good, solid, legal counsel. And you need to be willing to pay for it.

Op where is this happening? Laws will be different in different countries and you may not get valid advice.

Assume you are in england

You likely will not be able to stop him getting on the birth certificate and parental righ.ts should he push it through court so other then not helping him there's not much to be done there.

As dn is 12 she will have a day in where she goes so she can simply refuse to see him if she wants.

If he has reappeared perhaps you could go to CMS for child maintenance which may put him off. Maybe he will do you all a favour and disappear again.