How can I protect children’s inheritance?

[SouI]

Hello,

DH has repeatedly refused to say he won’t remarry if I were to die unexpectedly. I don’t mind him having another relationship if something were to happen to me. That being said I would never remarry.

I’m worried because if he were to remarry he would effectively disinherit our children. This happened to me when my father remarried. I’ve asked him and asked him but he won’t say he won’t remarry and disinherit the kids.

I’ve worked very hard to ensure the house is paid off and if nothing else I want make sure my children inherit my half.

What steps can I take to ensure this? We are currently joint owners, but I understand I ought to change this to tenants in common. Does this affect my rights to the house at all? I’m worried DH would take a loan out against his half of the house or something and it could be repossessed (he’s tried to do this before but I refused). He is also resistant to changing to tenants in common but as I understand it I don’t actually need his permission.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

@prh47bridge Thank you. That sounds like the priority. Until then a will is pointless.

We have a will where the part of our money we had before one of us dies goes to DC & cannot be left to a later spouse. Anything after that can be. It was a trust so it does cost money to set it up.

@migigo DS is a whole other issue, I have no idea what to do. I have two other healthy children but DS will never be able to work or live independently. He will have to live in government/supported housing for the rest of his life. Honestly, no idea what to do there unfortunately - I can't leave him any money because people will steal it from him knowing how vulnerable he his.

I think your concerns are valid, especially as you have an adult disabled son you would want to be provided for and it’s fairly common for men to be survived by later marriages.

Yes, you should protect your children. Isn’t this why a lot of older people who meet someone after their spouse dies, just live together. You mentioned that you had a disabled child. Would getting any money as an inheritance stop them getting any benefits?
An acquaintance of mine has a daughter with a severe disability. Her and her husband will be leaving all their money to their son so that the daughter will not lose her benefits. The son adores the daughter so he will make sure she is OK.

@TwigTheWonderKid Yes it is so challenging. My DS only became disabled as a young adult, so if I had left my portion to him it would have really complicated things for DH if he needed to sell for whatever reason etc. DD and DH don't have the best relationship either - what happens if they fall out massively when I am gone and she owns part of the house? You can never know what will happen.

I trust my dh implicitly. We are in the process of changing from joint tenants and will each leave our half of the house to the kids. Right to reside for rest of life.
We both want to make sure the kids get something. Will shortly be spending all of my Mums money ( monet from her and Dad's house plus money left by grandparents) on care. Luckily our house is worth enough that half will cover a reasonable house/ a decent care home.

@Flossflower That is something I had not even considered. He will need to live in government supported housing when we are gone with benefits. Seems so cruel to leave him nothing but maybe that is the only option to keep him safe.

@SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress Another thing I hadn't even considered. I am very much of the opinion I will choose Dignitas when my time comes, but DH will definitely prefer care. I wonder if being tenants in common will impact how much care fees he will pay. House is now worth a lot thanks to house price inflation since the 25 years we bought it (but no good to the poor young people of today) so he should be okay.

Personally, I think that the French system is better. The children are protected heirs.

Why are you asking on MN when you should be speaking to a solicitor?

Me and my sister got my dads share of the house when he died and my mum
has I think it’s called a lifetime interest in it
meaning she can live there for the rest of her life

@HalloumiGeller Why does Mumsnet have a legal section? I’ve received a lot of help here today.

@rwalker That is what I’d like to do with DH. Thanks

my DH is quite a lot older than me and says he wants to do a "blood line will" that will ensure our children inherit any potential assets, should I re-marry.(he is not against the idea of me re marrying) In reality we are both very lazy about this sort of thing and neither of us have a will!

The Russian gold digger?! Get divorced, co parent. Your property will then go to your DC.

You really need to speak to a qualified solicitor (not a will writer- they are unregulated) look for one with the additional STEP qualification.
It is common in this situation to leave assets on a ‘life interest trust’ for a spouse. Meaning that he will have a right to live in the property and to any income arising from investments. However on his death your assets will pass in accordance with your wishes.

For your disabled adult son, does he have mental capacity to manage a potentially large amount of money? If not you need to consider a trust for him also so that the trustees (who you choose) can look after the money for him. This can also prevent the funds for being taken into account for means tested benefits. You can write a letter of wishes setting out the access you feel would be appropriate for him to have eg a budget each week for shopping but that any larger purchases need to be owned by the trustees.

for your other adult children, leaving them a direct interest on your death as opposed to the life interest to your husband would mean that they would have to pay CGT on any increase in value of the property (assuming they don’t live in the property) and if they became divorced or bankrupt then the house would be part of their assets and open to claims whilst your DH requires a place to live.

Hope this give you some pointers to think about and encourages you to seek professional advice and put appropriate protections in place in your Will.

To add the property must be owned as tenants in common (as others have stated) in order to pass under the terms of your own Will and not automatically to the survivor as is the case for joint tenants. You can send a notice of severance and add a restriction to the property title. The solicitor preparing the Will should be able to help you with this.

This is not sufficient protection for the daughter. You cannot assume that the son will look after the daughter. However trustworthy and adoring. What if he dies? What if he divorces and the money gets diverted? What if he is scammed? What if he goes bankrupt? All his money and the disabled daughters money will be gone. The acquaintance needs to speak to a solicitor about a trust for the daughter which can ring fence the funds from being taken into account and ensure that the funds are looked after for HER benefit.

https://www.gov.uk/joint-property-ownership/change-from-joint-tenants-to-tenants-in-common

@Neriah

If you trust him so little, why are you married to him?

This is such a po-faced stupid comment it's hard to know where to start really.
The OP is talking about a situation after her death. People's situations change and their priorities change. Trust has nothing to do with it.

If OP were to die, and her DH remarried and his wife became pregnant, his financial priorities would change in terms of his financial provisions he'd make on death because he'd have young children to take care of.

History is littered with examples of older children of a first marriage getting nothing from their deceased parent by way of inheritance because of a second marriage, the new spouse living in the former family home etc. Obviously it stands to reason 100% of these remarrying spouses are absolute untrustworthy bastards. FFS.

A marriage automatically revokes any existing will and many people don't realise that. It's perfectly possible for the parent to remarry thinking everything is sorted with their will, they die and in fact they are intestate because they didn't know their marriage revoked their wil.

@SouI you are correct - you need to sever the joint tenancy and make a new will. You will need solicitors to do this effectively, properly and in a way that secures what you want. You don't say how old you are but it may be worth getting your GP and your solicitor to formally record they consider you of sound mind (to avoid problems later on).

- I can't leave him any money because people will steal it from him knowing how vulnerable he his.

You can set up a trust for him - but you will need trustees who you trust (relatives for example or you can get the solicitors/professional trustees to do it but they would need to be paid.

This is something that is really worth doing properly and paying for legal advice. Make sure you use a good firm of solicitors and an individual solicitor experienced in wills, inheritance and probate. Be careful because it is an area where there are lots of "free wills" on offer (really a loss leader as many people will end up using the solicitors as executors) and you can end up with rubbish advice from someone who doesn't really care.

Apart from the house, what are considered joint assets in a long marriage? I don't understand how people can will away items to other people, for example such as art hanging in a jointly owned home which would surely be considered a joint asset despite being paid for by either of them?

for example such as art hanging in a jointly owned home which would surely be considered a joint asset despite being paid for by either of them?

Not necessarily. It's possible that art or individual items bought by one belongs to one. Lots of situations like this - where one spouse is a collector of widgets, the widgets are not going to be joint assets if it is their collection.

Similarly things that would be understood by both spouses to not be joint assets - like a mother's wedding ring, photographs of parents, the granny's favorite vase, clothes, jewellery and watches.

You need to speak to a qualified estate planner. Spend a bit of money now for peace of mind. If you really don't know how to sort out your affairs, get professional advice. There is so much incorrect advice on MN on this subject.

Change your will to that effect