I've written a few threads about my ex - he was abusive in every way (no extreme violence) and I ended up in refuge for months while he dragged me through court.
He tried stop me relocating and demanded a LOT of contact (his demands increased at each hearing!).
Cafcass saw right through him and at the final order, which he and I both agreed to, I was allowed to move 2.5 hours away. This was signed off in September 2023.
He was given 2 hours contact a fortnight, supervised in the community by my sister. I've been driving the 2.5 back to take the children as my sister also lives in that area.
From the end of January, the order states that contact is to be 4 hours every fortnight, every 2 weeks, supervised in the community, with the handover point being much closer to me (and obviously further from him). I agreed that his dad or sister could supervise.
Well... as January approached he started messaging me through a third party saying that his dad was ill and his sister has "travel anxiety" that he knew nothing about, so I'd need to agree for someone else to supervise. He put forward names I'd already said no to in court - most of them being lads from work I don't know and the children have never even met (they're 4 and 2).
In the end I felt cornered and agreed his stepdad could supervise contact. Even that wasn't good enough- he can only do once a month apparently so "we need to organise something for the weekends in between".
Ex's dad sadly died in December and within DAYS he applied for a variation to the child arrangement order, saying the circumstances are extreme as his dad is gone and his sister has travel anxiety.
But again, he's made me sound so fucking unreasonable in the application, when all I've done is follow the court order, even thought it's meant doing 5-6 hour round trips in one afternoon with several small children!!
Again it's all about his wants- the fuel is going to cost him £60 a time, he feels that I've been unfair and unreasonable, I'm reluctant to let him have more contact, he's tried to ask me fairly and politely and I've refused, he believes that supervised contact shouldn't be going on for much longer, especially as he's been so good with them the times he has had them, etc etc.
I just want to move on, and I cannot BELIEVE that I might have to start this whole court process all over again because he can't accept the order.
I've barely got any time to respond.
Can anyone advise? Please 🙏