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Dealing with my fathers estate woes.

46 replies

rubberthedim · 13/01/2024 22:10

Hi Everyone,

I'm sorry this is going to be quite a long post however a lot is going on that I could use some good advice over or even just some well-placed opinions.

A month ago I received a letter saying my father had passed away, we hadn't spoken for the past few years because frankly, he wasn't a very good person and kept treating his parents (now deceased) badly.

I went a week later to the solicitor who contacted me to find out what was going on. My father had passed away and a friend of his (so he claims to be) handed in a letter which he believed to be a will to this solicitor.

My father didn't leave a valid will. Only a half-baked letter saying he would make one but he didn't and the solicitor I visited by this time had done a valid will search and confirmed there is definitely not one in existence.

So I am now as his closest living relative the beneficiary of his estate. It's not a lot my father wasn't a well-off man or anything and to be honest I am not concerned with his money or anything.

It turns out after a little investigation that my father took ill around May 2023. He had a recurring illness and it led to him dying in August of 2023. The day he took ill he was at this so-called friend's home and his car was left on his driveway. In October some people were acting suspiciously around his car for whatever reason and then my father's landlord decided to take the car away from the friend's home and store it at his property.(I'm not sure I believe the stories of what and why things were done by these 2 people).

Now at the solicitors, he said he had done this that and the other to locate me and verify I was entitled and the search for wills etc. All was left to do was for letters of administration to be filed in my name to tie everything up. I asked this solicitor what would happen next and what the options were as I was worried I was going to get stiffed by a bill over it all, and given my father's history I was of the mindset that I didn't want to spend a penny of my own earned money dealing with his estate. The solicitor told me no that won't happen at all it will all be paid for by the estate, and if there isn't enough money in the estate then the solicitor will just write off financially all the work he had done to date and hand me the file with original documents in. If the bank came back with enough money in it to fund the work he would carry on.

He also said at this point that my father's friend (now knowing that he has no claim to my father's estate) has said he is charging for storage of my father's car, and a few other small items. As did his landlord say he was going to be charging for the storage of the car that he took away in October from this friend's house AFTER my father had passed away.

The solicitor said that if they were asking for something reasonable it should be considered, if not his words "they can go do one".

So I walked away still shaken up by the news of my father's passing. Full of ambivalence because although I had come to hate my father in recent years for the awful things he did. I still loved him.

This was all just leading into Christmas so just before everything shut down I ordered a couple of death certificates of my own just to be safe in case I come to need to prove his death to anyone. The solicitor had given me the email for the landlord so I emailed him saying who I was and explained I knew he had the car there and some of his personal items and that I would be able to collect them anytime he wanted.

He came back to me a few days later and explained a few things about my father's last months (not much was told but I got a sense of what had gone on) and that he had some of his things from his flat in his shed and he also had the car. He also proceeded to tell me then that he was owed over £600 for storing the car since October. (the car he took of his own accord and with no one's permission). Basically £5 a day for this.

The solicitor then told me the friend had been in touch to say he wanted ~£1300 in storage fees for the car being on his drive from May until October (also £5 a day), and for looking after his laptop and his ashes. a few hundred pounds for having my father cremated (the funeral was paid for by my father's bank account).

Now just to put that into perspective. between them, it's around £1900 and counting for car storage. The car is worth only a few hundred pounds at most.

So after all this, I decided I wanted to handle his estate myself, which was almost just having to do the online application for administration which I had done in the past so no problems there. So I emailed the solicitor and said thank you very much for everything you have done but I would like to take it from here.

The solicitor then called me within seconds of the email being sent and said basically, It's almost all done if you stay with us we can get it all finished for you. It will only be a few hundred quid more than what the bill is now because it's pretty much just the administration application to do. But then he made what I thought was an actual valid point and concern.

He said that if I stayed with him he would essentially be able to insulate me from the landlord and the friend when it come to dealing with the issue of what they want for storing things etc. So I decided to stay with him thinking okay well at least if the solicitor deals with them that will be hopefully a better outcome.

I then got another email after Christmas from his landlord reminding me of the bill for storing the car. So I replied and said (I've been polite to everyone along the way) that the solicitor is handling everything at the moment so I can't speak of what may happen about the storage charge however if he was okay with it I would be happy to come and take the car off his hands and also my father's belongings.

I then got a reply from the landlord saying that I cannot have the car or his belongings until either I pay the money he has asked for or the solicitor has agreed to pay it in due course. So I emailed the solicitor explaining what had happened and also said how I felt about the situation. That being before any mention of storage fees or any fee from the friend and landlord my first thought had been one of gratitude to them both because they had done something that they didn't have to do and that I would have probably in my mind after the estate had settled given them some money as a gratuity for what they had done. A small but meaningful amount. However, since all that had been said by both the landlord and friend was asking and then literally demanding money for things my sentiment was they can go themselves *fill the blank. They both just seem to be trying to squeeze whatever money they can from me.

The solicitor came back to me a week later after asking for his help and said I would have to negotiate with them both myself and that he didn't have time to deal with that given he was doing the work for a maximum agreed fee.

So with all this going on, feeling overwhelmed by the demands and the solicitor not doing the thing that he had sold me on staying with him for. I wrote him an email and said I would like to cancel our agreement and finish dealing with the estate myself and that could he please turn over the documents he holds (such as the car logbook) as soon as possible. I said I knew there was some work done for me and I understood being charged for it.

Despite being annoyed with the solicitor over what happened I said in every message that my decision was personal and not a reflection on his work. That I was grateful for what he had done etc etc and didn't say a single unkind thing.

4 days later I got an email saying there was a bill attached. which amounts to £2000. around 1300 or more as I understand it, was for work done before I even met him that he was fine with writing off had my father's estate not been in equity. which he also said I was "agreeable to".

And he said in his email. He would only turn over the papers which include the car logbook once I settled the bill.

Since this email, I have contacted the DVLA and cancelled the V5 as a precaution. I have initiated contact with my father's bank to let them know that I am the person responsible for handling his estate while I try to get my head around everything that is going on right now.

So that leaves me now with, a solicitor who for now won't turn over any of the documents I need. A landlord who wants what seems a ridiculous amount of money for storing a car that he simply took off his own back and a so-called friend of my fathers who wants well over £1200 for storing the car and a couple of computer bits, storing his ashes and money on top for having his cremation taken care of. Oh and also he wants £150 for cleaning my father's flat once when he was in hospital or I won't get any of that or my father's ashes either. I plan on at least giving the friend some money for having taken care of his cremation as I have no issue with wanting payment for that. Even now if both the landlord and friend said don't worry about the money just come get the stuff I would still probably end up giving them something in kind. I just hate the attitude I have been met with by them just seeming to want to make money off of my father's death.

I feel like I am being squeezed in every direction at the moment at a time when I am still trying to get my head wrapped around the fact my father has died. On top of all of this, I have been suffering from major depression for the past few years which isn't helping me to have a clear enough head to figure out what to do.

Any advice, opinion or facts that any of you may be able to give would be so helpful right now.

Thank you for reading this very long explanation of what I have going on right now and need some help/guidance with.

OP posts:
Plexie · 13/01/2024 22:36

I'm not a lawyer but have some basic legal knowledge.

Unless your father entered into a contract with the friend and landlord for storage etc, then no debt has occurred and no payment is due from his estate. You have not entered into a contract with them, so owe them nothing.

If the friend incurred some costs dealing with your father's funeral etc, he should be reimbursed from the estate.

Threatening to withhold items unless you pay them money sounds like possibly blackmail or extortion under the Theft Act (note again I am not a lawyer!), which would be a criminal offence and therefore a matter for the police.

Do you live in the same police jurisdiction area as the friend and landlord?

Plexie · 13/01/2024 22:40

Oh, and it would be the responsibility of the friend and landlord to prove they had a contract, and not for you to prove there isn't one.

husbandmidlifecrisis · 13/01/2024 22:53

So sorry, OP, what a nightmare. Bumping for you

CandyLeBonBon · 13/01/2024 22:59

Bloody hell what a bunch of knobs. Sorry op I've got no advice but hoping my comment keeps your thread in active so someone might be able to help.

AllEars112232 · 13/01/2024 23:14

Agree with @Plexie , (also not a lawyer).
But I would add that do not pay the friend a penny without being given proper receipts for the cremation. My bet is he did not pay this fee.

One option might just be to leave everything and walk away. They all took responsibility at the time, let them crack on with it. Do you need to get involved any further?

pinkyellowflowers · 13/01/2024 23:28

I would report the landlord for theft of the car - there's no signed agreement. No payment due.

The friend can get £100 for the cremation costs but nothing for storage - he did a favour for a friend!

I would get solicitor to confirm in writing what they say - can you confirm that you're not handing me over the ... until I pay ....

Try not to stress or panic. Your dad isn't stressing about this. Like you said, there's not much money involved. Just make sure you're not out of pocket.

rubberthedim · 13/01/2024 23:54

pinkyellowflowers · 13/01/2024 23:28

I would report the landlord for theft of the car - there's no signed agreement. No payment due.

The friend can get £100 for the cremation costs but nothing for storage - he did a favour for a friend!

I would get solicitor to confirm in writing what they say - can you confirm that you're not handing me over the ... until I pay ....

Try not to stress or panic. Your dad isn't stressing about this. Like you said, there's not much money involved. Just make sure you're not out of pocket.

The solicitor has literally put in writing that he will only hand them over after payment.

As for the landlord, I am first trying to get an inventory from him to be certain of everything he holds of my fathers before going down the police route. And also for the replacement V5 to come so I at least have something tangible over owning/being responsible for the car.

OP posts:
Plexie · 14/01/2024 00:03

It wouldn't be theft because he doesn't intend to "permanently deprive" the owner of the item. He's willing to give it back if the OP gives him money. Which might meet the definition of blackmail.

Assuming he drove the car when he took it, that might be taking a vehicle without owner's consent, although I don't know if that would help with getting the car back.

prh47bridge · 14/01/2024 09:56

Plexie · 14/01/2024 00:03

It wouldn't be theft because he doesn't intend to "permanently deprive" the owner of the item. He's willing to give it back if the OP gives him money. Which might meet the definition of blackmail.

Assuming he drove the car when he took it, that might be taking a vehicle without owner's consent, although I don't know if that would help with getting the car back.

It may be theft since he does intend to permanently deprive the owner of the item if they refuse to pay. It is certainly taking a motor vehicle without authority, which is a form of theft. It may also be blackmail, which also falls under the Theft Act.

rubberthedim · 14/01/2024 14:45

prh47bridge · 14/01/2024 09:56

It may be theft since he does intend to permanently deprive the owner of the item if they refuse to pay. It is certainly taking a motor vehicle without authority, which is a form of theft. It may also be blackmail, which also falls under the Theft Act.

I am also not sure it would be theft as he said he took the car to keep it safe so probably was some good intention to begin with.

I'm thinking somewhat along the blackmail kind of line because I'm pretty sure that when I come to say I won't pay the £600+ that he wants for it his reply will be well you can't have it then.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 14/01/2024 14:49

They stole the car and are extorting money to return it.

Parky04 · 14/01/2024 14:54

I would have declined the inheritance. It's more hassle than it's worth!

rubberthedim · 14/01/2024 14:54

Another part of the issue is there are personal belongings with both the landlord and friend. Both have 1 of his computers each.

I am keen to get these. They won't hold any real monetary value however my father lived quite a lot of his life online so I would like to be able to find out more about how he was/what he had been up to since we last spoke and before he died.

I still don't know a lot about how he died. Only the death certificate and that it was over some months. I am waiting for the coroner's office to get back to me after asking for a copy of the inquest into his death. I haven't asked the landlord or friend for any details as for the moment I would like the facts before multiple opinions about what went on come to light.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 14/01/2024 14:55

So they have stolen his computers as well?

rubberthedim · 14/01/2024 15:00

endofthelinefinally · 14/01/2024 14:55

So they have stolen his computers as well?

The landlord has one of his computers in his shed that came from my father's flat along with some other belongings, I am trying to get an inventory of what he has exactly.

The friend has a laptop that my father had left at his home before he was hospitalised and he also now has his ashes from the cremation that he arranged. The funeral/cremation was paid for by my father's bank as the funeral arranger is allowed to produce invoices to be settled straight to the funeral director by the bank which I understand.

OP posts:
Riva5784 · 14/01/2024 15:09

If it were me, I would contact the police, tell them what you know, that these people are in possession of your father's laptops, car, ashes and other personal possessions, and ask the police if they think any crime has been committed.

rubberthedim · 14/01/2024 15:11

Riva5784 · 14/01/2024 15:09

If it were me, I would contact the police, tell them what you know, that these people are in possession of your father's laptops, car, ashes and other personal possessions, and ask the police if they think any crime has been committed.

This is certainly something I am going to have to do once I have a list of everything in his possession and the updated V5 in my hands.

OP posts:
AllEars112232 · 14/01/2024 16:39

rubberthedim · 14/01/2024 15:11

This is certainly something I am going to have to do once I have a list of everything in his possession and the updated V5 in my hands.

Don’t wait for this extra information, you have enough to take to the police now.

henrysugar12 · 14/01/2024 17:29

Would you have the login details for his computers? If not they will be virtually useless.
Unless the car and other personal effects are particularly valuable I think I would cut my losses and just walk away. The one who has the car won't be able to sell it or scrap it without the recent v5, so it's useless to him.

rubberthedim · 14/01/2024 17:59

henrysugar12 · 14/01/2024 17:29

Would you have the login details for his computers? If not they will be virtually useless.
Unless the car and other personal effects are particularly valuable I think I would cut my losses and just walk away. The one who has the car won't be able to sell it or scrap it without the recent v5, so it's useless to him.

Password won't make any difference to me I can get into it if I need to.
Also, the personal items of his may include some sentimental items he stole from my grandparents a few years ago before they died so I would like to get the stuff and hope they are in there.

OP posts:
Riva5784 · 14/01/2024 19:15

I agree with @AllEars112232 you have enough information to take it to the police now.

Or at least give yourself a deadline. You say you are waiting for a list of everything in his possession, but how long are you willing to wait? He may never give it to you. You have no control over his behaviour and you already know he is not a nice person.

rubberthedim · 14/01/2024 20:09

Riva5784 · 14/01/2024 19:15

I agree with @AllEars112232 you have enough information to take it to the police now.

Or at least give yourself a deadline. You say you are waiting for a list of everything in his possession, but how long are you willing to wait? He may never give it to you. You have no control over his behaviour and you already know he is not a nice person.

I haven't asked for the detailed list yet as I've only just cut ties with the solicitor.

I will be contacting landlord tomorrow explaining that there is no longer a solicitor and as such I will be dealing with everything now.

In doing this I intend to find out what he has of my fathers under the guise of asking for a list in needing to value his estate for probate and that any financial decisions will be made after all the assets and finances are known.

Hopefully that will be enough for him to let his guard down and tell me all of what he has so whatever legal route I have to take to get possession, I have it in writing from him what he is witholding from me.

Hoping this will also work with the friend however I do not have his contact details at the moment. Landlord knows him so hoping he will pass my contact details on to him.

Would imagine the friend would want to be in contact with me given as he wants over £1300 off me for storing things and what not. Same principle for him when I do have contact so that I have his list in writing and that he is not letting me have it.

Once I have lists from both of them that's when I will look to take whatever action is needed. Hoping they do give me a list.

OP posts:
EddieBearAndBaby · 15/01/2024 13:59

This sounds like such a difficult situation, I can't offer any legal advice OP but I'm bumping for you

Cantalever · 15/01/2024 14:08

You need a different solicitor OP - one that you employ to look after your own interests. Do you have any doubts at all that this one may be working for the friend and landlord, rather than you? Could they all be in this together as a dodgy bunch?
I would go independent with your own legal advice.

rubberthedim · 15/01/2024 17:50

Cantalever · 15/01/2024 14:08

You need a different solicitor OP - one that you employ to look after your own interests. Do you have any doubts at all that this one may be working for the friend and landlord, rather than you? Could they all be in this together as a dodgy bunch?
I would go independent with your own legal advice.

That's what I had however, they didn't keep to their end so I have terminated my business with them and am currently going independent. Regarding dealing with the normal estate administration I'm fine with doing everything and have done it all before. It's just the friend and landlord who are the issue with possessions.

OP posts:
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