My ex has chosen same properties for ‘both parties’ in an area a couple of miles away that is cheap, not awful, but not somewhere I’d choose to live. That isn’t being snooty. Bordering an undesirable town. We moved from a 4 bedroom detached £550,000, in a nice area of town, to a one bed semi £365,000, on the cheaper opposite side, a month and a day before he left taking the proceeds - which were to be used to extend. He has spent most of this now. He refused to send money over to renovate the property to create bedrooms for the girls (originally intended).
We have two children 12 and 16. The sixteen year old is on final year of secondary.
I picked properties for me in this part of town with 3 beds, average was £420,000, was told to pick 3 beds also for him.
I was aware he was planning to move around 6-8 miles away so asked him which areas he was looking at and picked areas from the catchment areas he was looking at. The houses were cheaper in those areas. I picked nice 3 bed houses for him. They averaged around £325,000. A similar price to what he has picked in the cheap place bordering the undesirable town he has no intention of living in.
That said he has picked 2 bed houses for me and him in the worse area saying these are suitable. They are even cheaper than my current one bed house!
My youngest, 12, has a very strained relationship with him and stopped staying at his house after 11 months due to his temper. The 16 year old lives mostly with him, but still has around 10/12 nights a month here.
Married 13 years at separation nearly 3 years ago. Youngest has chronic illness which I have to manage and affects my ability to work. Another factor is that my ability to work around this are further squeezed due to no family on hand to help and my illness, which whilst not debilitating currently, means I would struggle to do more than current care scenario due to tiredness in evenings.
ex is high earner - averaging £135,000 Pa.
The girls are frequently at odds with each other and a bedroom share would never work.
The youngest, 12, would hate to leave.
I asked for £35,000 for house renovation work, plus £15,000 for 2 year old car, to replace very old worn out car I was left with. Pensions value £343,000.
It’s going to FDR at the end of the month. The stress is overwhelming. He has barrister and solicitor representing, I have a barrister for day of hearing. Any advice would be gratefully received!