About to leave husband: help please.

[Katbum]

Hello,

I've made the decision to end my marriage. We have been married under a year and have a one year old baby. I am the breadwinner earning 70k. We live in south London. My husband looks after baby full time while I work, but obviously this won't continue when we seperate as he will have to fund his own life. We rent a property (small flat, all in circa £2k pcm), and I am responsible for all expenses. I own a house which is rented out: I don't earn anything from that per se, but it covers itself as an investment. My husband has no interest in that property. I am panicking about how I will afford childcare - how do people do it? It's looking like £80 minimum per day for full time care for a one year old, and I cannot afford that on top of everything else. No chance of getting any money out of husband once we are over, so that's not an option. Please help so I can get on with my life.

Sorry, I can't really imagine how hard it must be. Maybe get an au pair? Have you considered selling the property you let to release finds until child goes to school or you can get funded childcare then you can reinvest?

As he is SAHP and main carer, then don't take it for granted that you will get 50/50 residency - you may well get less.

Of course that won't deal with bills, because what you save on childcare, you'll be paying in CM.

If he is not going to seek a share of the house, then you might need to sell, buy something smaller and fund shortfall in your budget that way

You might be able to do a salary sacrifice for a tax break on childcare. Speak to HR. I'm guessing that he does childcare by day rather than work - I'm getting cocklodger vibes - but you will need to demonstrate that you are Primary Carer ie you do the night waking, medical appointments, plan for the buying of clothes, shoes, next stage toys/nursery equipment all the child's needs are met by you etc It would be helpful if you were still breastfeeding as it's much easier to demonstrate your parenting involvement etc I had an ex who didn't work but his childminding was crap - baby on CBeebies, him on PC, I prepped all clothes, laundry, foods, got up at night and early. He just waltzed to school or nursery looking quite The Dad of the Year. But enough about me!

Yes exactly I do everything but be there physically while I am at work! And am breastfeeding. But honestly doubt he would try to legally enforce a custody agreement that makes him responsible for all the things, even 50% of the time.

Get legal advice and work through the finances.

You own a property, long term could you move in? Again legal advice will be needed.

A marriage of less than one year is very short, how long were you together?

3 years.