Would it be stupid to ask for no further communication from solicitor until the new year. Struggling to cope.

[Onedaystronger]

I'm mid divorce. Ex has rejected all opportunities to be collaborative and seems to take every single opportunity to argue every point, evade questions, and bully me into backing down for an easy life.

If he has his own way I will be left unable to manage financially which is a whole other thread but I am very frightened about the future and how I will manage to live and eat.

He has caused multiple delays.

We've had a pattern of communication from his solicitor to mine only arriving last thing on a Friday, or during my week off work. Usually threatening, brief and out of the blue.my solicitor says she's duty bound to forward it to me immediately which is understandable. More often than not my solicitor forwards it to me minutes before the end of her week with a covering email will say that ex's solicitor's email is a bullying tactic, that we can deal with it, and that she will call me the following week. It leaves me feeling incredibly anxious and I'll informed all weekend.

It feels deliberate on Ex's part but whether it is or is not I now approach my inbox with a sick feeling, and this ramps up every Friday until 5pm when the solicitor's close.

I accept that I can't hide from this, and need to do all I can to get it sorted but I'm struggling to cope with these Email bombs. There is nothing currently outstanding from my end.

My solicitor's last day of work is tomorrow (Friday), and she is back at work on 2 January.

Would it be irresponsible or cowardly to ask her to hold communication until she returns in the new year to give me time to pull myself together?

I feel for you and couldn't read this and run.

(It feels like a deliberate tactic to me. So a hand hold for that. I am not a solicitor.)

Has your solicitor got an out of office on for the coming days or is she one of these people that never does (I tend to fall into that camp....!)

She surely must be allowed to down tools for her job when she's off.

For your peace of mind I'd ask her to confirm this and that if someone is keeping any eye on her inbox they can be instructed to respond that '[Ms Solicitor] will reply on her return from holiday.'

I can't see how this is being unreasonable.

I'd push back a little on her interpretation of 'immediately' too. Is she a relatively new solicitor?

Just because she sends the emails doesn't mean you have to open them. Set up a rule to automatically put everything from your solicitor into its own folder and only look when you feel up to it.

I feel for you OP, this is where I was last Xmas. It always happened on a Friday to a point I started calling it Ghoul Friday (my family all call my ex The Ghoul) 23rd Dec last year (last working day) I got an email saying he was going to send the entire contents of his THREE storage units to the family home where I was living (as he was refusing to sell it) as he couldn't afford the storage fees. I had to sit on that all over Xmas and new year.
The only thing you can do is either not open the emails (I found this impossible) or open them, read them, rant about them to someone and then shelf it as to be dealt with. I learned to do the latter but it took some time. I learned it was his way to make me feel shit so I decided to not let him win that.
It's hard though

It is a deliberate tactic unfortunately. As others have suggested, set your emails to go to a separate box and open them when you feel ready. I wouldn't hesitate to tell your solicitor that it is causing you anxiety. He will keep doing this to push up your costs. Your solicitor does not have to respond. I'd be inclined to tell his solicitor that you are no longer willing to negotiate and get it before a judge. It's far far easier. I speak as somebody who has been through this (and without a solicitor).

My ex did this like clockwork.
He is trying to financially and emotionally exhaust you. My ex stopped when he got another girlfriend which took six years from when we separated.
Here is what I learnt.
Most expensive way of resolving things was court but that put boundaries around his behaviour.
The next most expensive was legal correspondence, for the reasons you are discovering.
Most effective and least expensive was mediation, although this was still £300 an hour and it went on for an inordinate amount of sessions as it was a delaying tactic from ex.
Collaborative law was a waste of time and money.

So are there things you need a court decision on? Go straight to there as you will waste money otherwise.
If not and it is details, go to mediation. I know mediation is not recommended for abuse, but it is possible to get a good mediator who is aware of bullying tactics and you can have a break out room if needed. This gives you a simple response which is that things will be discussed in mediation and you can ignore the solicitor’s letters.
The only way to defeat bullies is to stand up to them unfortunately. And it’s very expensive to do this via solicitor’s letter.

Your solicitor works for you - tell her again that forwarding something last thing on Friday does not work for you, and you prefer she hold any correspondence until Mondays (and in this case until January). It’s not true that she has an obligation to forward anything to you “immediately” - the requirement is that she provide a service which is “is competent and delivered in a timely manner” (that’s SRA Code of Conduct 3.2 if you need to quote her actual professional duties at her).

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this, and hope you get a break over Christmas.