Inheritance tax Q involving DH

[JaffaCake24]

DM sadly passed away and I will inherit a reasonable sum.

I am concerned about how things will change between me and DH.

V traditional marriage, he works full time, I’m at home. He gives me a lot to look after kids/run the house. But then he earns v well.

We have three options as far as I can see with what to do with DM’s nest egg.

1. buy a bigger house. DH has our own house in his name only. He bought it and I have contributed nothing. We have been married 20 years though.

2. I buy a flat close by and rent it out. However DH will no doubt say now I’m getting an income he’ll stop giving me monthly allowance. Perhaps this is fair?

3. I buy somewhere abroad and go out with DC for holidays there. DH will not join because he’s a workaholic.

We’ve never had joint accounts.

We never will.

I think I’ve read on here if I put it into the marital home it becomes half his. Is that right?

If I buy a flat by myself or abroad, does it remain mine, if we were to divorce?

I think I'd keep it for some security. Although your home is a marital asset if you divorce, your husband could make the DC sole benefactors of all his assets in his will if he dies, leaving you with nothing.

This is a real problem. You’re married but he owns the house and he’s much wealthier than you? That’s not a marriage.
If you were to divorce now, you would be entitled to at least half of everything - savings, house, car, possessions. Because the law recognises that as a married couple you own everything jointly. However if he were to die whilst you were still married, he could leave all his things to the local cats home - house, savings in his name etc. if he died without a will you’d be better off.
The first thing I’d be doing is to sort out the nonsense of you having no financial control.

I'm a bit concerned that he gives you an allowance tbh

Please get a job and then get a divorce. The situation you are in is so sad and honestly you do not need to live like this. See a solicitor asap to understand your position.

Honestly - I think you should LTB. He sounds like a total fun sponge and you’re living an existence where you seem to have no agency or power. It’s all what he wants. No joint assets despite giving your life to raise his kids? Screw that. Use the money to go and kickstart your life.

16 and 12? Blimey, I thought you had tiny kids.

Why not get a job? Or retrain? You have a lot of living to do once the kids are grown up and gone.

Agree with others that property investment is no longer worth it, straightforward investments are better and less hassle.

I would buy the holiday house - because I love the sea.
Seek advice as to whose name it should be in (even the kids' names)
Seek advice as to where to purchase the house. (which country?)
You could spend regular time in Provence but own a house in Italy or near kids uni., for example. Examine flexible options with an advisor but knowing where you want to spend time.
I would only advise that if you buy property do not wait years while the value of your money goes down.

""DH has our own house in his name only. He bought it and I have contributed nothing. We have been married 20 years though.""

Big red flag, imho. You've been together 20 years!!

And it's not "our own house" it's his!

Wake up OP, you need legal advice and quickly!!!

I've got a holiday home in Morlaix, Brittany. It's very easy to get to because Brittany Ferries goes from Plymouth to Roscoff. Morlaix is about 20 miles from Roscoff. I bought a lovely solid 7 bedroom and 2 bathroom house with only a tiny back garden, think BBQ and table and chairs area to sit in. Good as very low maintenance. It is 2km along a green route into Morlaix which is a picturesque port town. The house is only 200 metres from the start of the National Forest trail and about 15 minutes from the closest beach. It's an excellent location. Morlaix has many restaurants, a cafe culture, a flourishing market twice a week, tourist I formation where you can hire bikes from too and several takeaways. I bought my house before Brexit but I only paid €80k for it and that included a lot of furniture too. It's rural but close to a decent sized town. There is a field with ponies I look out on and very green all around. There is a swimming pool complex with 3 swimming pools and the leisure centre about a 15 minute drive away, also a large hypermarket is 10 minutes away. If you are going to buy in France I think it's best to buy somewhere you can get to easily by ship or plane but also has really good resources close by too, so you can make good use of it. We have bikes, kayaks, wet suits and lots of beach toys we leave there. We researched for over a year to get the resources we have close to hand. There is also a large Xmas market in Morlaix.

images.app.goo.gl/9fJv9hubMJAUnNaC6

This is Morlaix.

It looks so beautiful. Thank you for sharing all of it with me. So very kind of you.

if there was more sun I would choose it in a heartbeat.

But it’s too close to U.K. and gets a lot of rain I think?

We owned on the north coast of France also, not in Brittany and whilst also a beautiful region the weather doesn’t make my heart sing.

I agree with you about links for transport. Very important. We did love the ease of travelling as you described but just not sure a smaller town is for me and the DC with possibility of lots of rain… not any more.

Pension and then a plush motor home

Running away fund

Thank you for this.

Like many who are in ND NT relationship I have developed an autoimmune disease (that’s what the MN threads show sadly). It may be the stress of never having our needs met and compromising continually oneself to keep the balance. ND DH thinks he’s normal. But he’s not and it’s very hard to live with.

Both DC are ND so the idea of kids becoming quickly independent looks unlikely. They both lean on me tremendously.

I love them dearly and the worry about their mental and physical health never stops.

Im not sure what I’d retrain in. I imagine I’d earn little to nothing?

But due to health all round it would have been hard to work. More recently been caring for DM for 2.5 years.

Self esteem is on the floor.

I will look at investments then.

If I bought a property it would be outright. No mortgage.

would that still be not worth it?

nothing seems to climb in capital value like property. I thought it might do for the kids. It would only be a mile away, or even a few roads, so very close by.

In the event of divorce it really doesn't matter whose name is on the deeds. The fact that the house is in his name is irrelevant, it would still be considered an asset of the marriage and would be at least half yours. If you have sacrificed your earnings potential in order to facilitate a traditional family life and enable him to focus on career safely relying on you for all your domestic responsibilities then you would be likely to be awarded more than half the pot. (Nb the pot will also include his pension, which may be worth more than the equity in the house)

He sounds nasty and controlling, bordering on financial abuse. If you initiate divorce proceedings now before you recieve your inheritance it might be that your Mum's wealth is not considered part of the pot to be divided up.

If you stay with him then your wealth does also become part of the joint assets of the marriage which will be divided up if you split.

But given how nasty and controlling he is, keep the details of your inheritance private from him as far as possible. Keep control of it for you and your children.

Absolutely, totally THIS ^

I sense that your marriage is less than perfect. If you think that you might be happier without him, now would be a good time to bail out.

But please do take competent legal advice!

Hi there,
Hope you don't mind, OP, but we've moved this to Legal Matters where we think you'll get good advice.

I haven't read the full thread.

If you were to divorce, the fact that the marital home is in his name only would be irrelevant. It will go into the pot to be divided between you.

As far as the inheritance is concerned, if you keep it separate and don't spend it on anything that is classed as a marital asset (e.g. the home), the courts will try to preserve it for you if you divorce. However, they will dip into it if that is the only way to achieve a fair settlement.

You mention Inheritance Tax in the title to this thread, but I don't see anything about IHT in your posts. Is there a question about that?

@JaffaCake24 What you can do is pass a lot of it over to your DC in trusts. Should you wish. Or use the money for holidays. Or invest for a pension but I’m not sure of how big a lump sum you can put in to maximise tax efficiency. Again, advice would be needed. Do try and get some enjoyment from life. You could invest the money and rent a place every summer. No upkeep to worry about. I know quite a few women who do this with dc. Husbands carry on working!

He is not much wealthier than you. You are married. All your assets are shared legally