Inheritance tax Q involving DH

[JaffaCake24]

DM sadly passed away and I will inherit a reasonable sum.

I am concerned about how things will change between me and DH.

V traditional marriage, he works full time, I’m at home. He gives me a lot to look after kids/run the house. But then he earns v well.

We have three options as far as I can see with what to do with DM’s nest egg.

1. buy a bigger house. DH has our own house in his name only. He bought it and I have contributed nothing. We have been married 20 years though.

2. I buy a flat close by and rent it out. However DH will no doubt say now I’m getting an income he’ll stop giving me monthly allowance. Perhaps this is fair?

3. I buy somewhere abroad and go out with DC for holidays there. DH will not join because he’s a workaholic.

We’ve never had joint accounts.

We never will.

I think I’ve read on here if I put it into the marital home it becomes half his. Is that right?

If I buy a flat by myself or abroad, does it remain mine, if we were to divorce?

best to ask a lawyer how to ring fence it but if you've been together 20 years do you see yourself divorcing?
owning property to rent or a vacation home it's easy, it takes constant maintenance.
personally i would put it into a pension fund or sorts high interest rate savings (not necessarily the stock market) and leave it alone for retirement.
share a bit with dh, get yourself a treat, leave the rest alone for now.

You don't work? Seems like a pension fund might be a good idea.
If it is a significant amount you should take legal and financial advice.

Pretty sure as soon as you inherit it it becomes a marital asset and he would be entitled to half in the event of a divorce.

Doesn't sound like you play a team game

If you put it in a pension he could claim half in the event of divorce. Ditto property, even if it's only in your name.

Actually, it's not unless it's been commingled by buying joint property, being deposited into a joint bank account, etc.

https://www.divorce.co.uk/your-finances/inheritance

The money you inherit is a marital asset if you live in England. Rules different if you live in Scotland. But the house you live in is also a marital asset. If you rent out the flat the income should be counted as joint. You can't keep it all to yourself.

Find a solicitor who has experience in inheritance and ask them. You will get a range of answers on here and some will be wrong (and some right) but you need advice that is tailored to you and your exact circumstances which you wont get on here

owning property to rent or a vacation home ISN'T easy, it takes constant maintenance.
i thought there was an edit function 😕

the fact you already have contradictory answers on here hopefully tells you that you absolutely need to get proper legal advice so you are in the best position possible from a financial pov if you were to divorce. this is an accurate summary https://www.mediateuk.co.uk/guide-to-financial-settlement-on-divorce/
some of the replies you've had already are just wrong

Thank you for all the answers. If I were to buy a property, I would let it through an estate agent.

We have owned property in the past and it’s a headache I know. They take 15% but that would be ok. For it to be hassle-free I wouldn’t mind.

Perhaps investing is the answer.

It’s what DH does for a living but he gives me no advice. Or just little bits here and there. He doesn’t like to advise me because he worries he’ll get it wrong which I do understand. And then I’d blame him.

Any thoughts on buying somewhere abroad? I was thinking of a flat or small house in Provence close to the sea. Discovered Grasse, only online. Thought it looked wonderful.

DH hates the area though but I love it. He had a bad experience in his youth. The area im sure is much changed in the intervening decades. We are such different people, largely bonded by kids these days.

I do care for him very much but I’d love some freedom very soon. Not divorce but just to spend time in a place that makes me happy.

I would feel guilty leaving him behind but he could choose to work less… he never ever would though.

Thank you that’s also helpful.

I don’t want to separate from DH I don’t think.

Just want to spend more time away discovering the world a bit and having the means to do it. I’ve been trapped for so long.

He likes routine and the routine is stifling. I’ve done it for so very long.

We do and we don’t. There’s a lot of trust built up over many years. I don’t want to rock the applecart too much. We have the same values so it works.

He doesn’t need the money. Much wealthier than me. But it’s a sweet thought. And he doesn’t like presents or birthdays 😊 he tells me to return any gifts I buy him.

i recently inherited, bought dh a custom suit.
bought myself some bling in memory of a mom who loved bling.
paid off some (not all debt)
gave generously to our three kids
have a nice sum in a savings account.
we're retired with good pensions coming up on 43 years married, can't really see that changing.
i took over part of my pension fund, as a self directed investor. hence my suggestion of a high interest savings account again less hassle.
outside grasse, although lovely and the nice airport easy to get to....the people i've met are dodgy. dd and son in law have a place in grasse (outskirts of the city) and damn it's a pain in the ass. frequently robbed and officials (electric or gas) won't come without "extra cash", some companies won't deal with the english.

You could just invest it in stocks shares, which are far easier to liquidate than property, and use when/if you choose? property ownership comes with obligations - one home is enough hassle for me. I’ve never understood the point of second homes unless there is some strong emotional attachment that overrides the practical considerations. I might keep our family home (raised abroad) if no one else in the family wanted it, but I actually dread the idea of being responsible for a property I would only ever see for a few weeks / months a year.

and note that he is not wealthier than you - at 20 years married you are equally wealthy. If you divorce you are entitled to half of everything whether or not your name is on the mortgage/ deed. There are potentially ways to ring fence inheritance if that is your goal, but the family home (and pension and other savings) is definitely half yours now regardless of whether you have paid anything in.

DH really doesn’t like the French Riviera. It’s very sad to hear your DD getting robbed there. Is that the house? Or personally themselves? Is true that the French service people can be tricky. We’ve owned in France and know how hard it is, despite DH being French himself.

I loved the area because of the sea and sun and relaxed lifestyle. But maybe there’s an underbelly I don’t know about. DH is often right. What a shame. I really want somewhere else to go during holidays.

I mean during the school holidays. I hate the stifling routine of being at home. DC need to see something else but these four walls and I’d like to build a life outside of my home life here in the U.K. i don’t see myself retiring here. The care of my DM was so appalling I am now scared.

You sound as though you are being buried alive. Do you ever have fun with your husband? How old are the children and how is he with them? Is he neuro diverse?

Correct on all fronts 😊
kids are 16 and 12.
Yes I am partially dead.

Plus his (presumably generous although it sounds like he might never retire) pension is also a marital asset.

OP I think you have to accept that the inheritance will become a marital asset but if you do separate, make sure you get a shit hot divorce lawyer to make sure you get a good settlement.

Would you be interested in using some of the money to retrain? What did you do for work before you had DC?

You say he gives you a lot of money to look after DC and run the house. Do you use some of this to take them on holiday? Do you save some of it in your own name including in a pension?

If it's a six figure sum you probably want to see a financial planner to make the most of the money.

But I'm not sure I'd bother buying a holiday home. Just split the money into short, medium and long term 'pots' and save/invest for the best return with a risk profile you're comfortable with. Maybe think about using some for university costs or house deposits for DC if this isn't already covered.

Then use some of the money to travel with DC during school holidays.

You might decide that, when DC go to university or leave home, that you could divorce DH, use your settlement to buy a smallish property to live in and if you do retrain, you'll be able to work to support yourself, and travel to your hearts content.

The main thing in terms of protecting the inheritance for the future is keeping it separate and you don't have shared anything so that should be easy. Never any guarantees, but given what you imply about the scale of the family's resources, you'd probably stand a better chance than many of not sharing it in the event of divorce. Incidentally, given the nature of the enquiry, it'd be a family lawyer not an inheritance specialist you'd need advice from should you choose to take it.

The idea of a second base clearly appeals to you and seems like a way to seek improved independence that many DMs, perhaps yours too, would think a fitting use of their funds. Having a local flat when you don't need the income or the security seems pointless. You could rent it out when you're not using it to fund holidays elsewhere (rather than tapping up DH) as I bet the kids will be interested in broadening their horizons yet further given their ages and that might help you feel more free, less suffocated, more fulfilled.

For me the real Q is location of foreign base. Why pick a place you have no connection to - beyond Googling it - but which your DH actively dislikes? Unless consciously/subconsciously designed to push him away? There must be 50 European destinations that meet the description you provide, but this one DH had a bad experience in. It almost seems pointed tbh, have you examined your feelings and motivation on that element?

I wouldn't buy a holiday home because of all the issues mentioned earlier. I invested in Holiday Property Bond years ago. Lovely apartments in many different countries, lots of families, organised outings if you want, staff to look after you. Good for stress free holidays if you want to go with dc on your own. Google it.

It's a slightly separate issue from your original question but I think you need to get a job. You need something other than your stale marriage and your increasingly independent children.

What do you want from life?

I'd see a financial adviser and look at a pension

Letting a property via an agency does not make it stress free, anything but. This year I've had to deal with noise complaints from other tenants, unpaid (or rather misdirected) energy bills from two different tenancies/void periods, delivery of a new fridge to a property 200 miles away which then turned out to be too big .. and of course the usual tax return etc. Just don't do it, it's a complete pain in the arse for too little return.