What to wright in a whiteness statement

[Babygirlmum]

What should I state in a whiteness statement? For family court, against my baby dad? He is taking me to court for a order for more access to our daughter. He originally walked out on her before she we born, I know this no longer applies. He has had regular contact with her. Up until his mum got involved and refused to bring her home to me, In which I had to travel two hours to get her, when the original plan was for her farther to bring her home on a certain day, his statements states that he wants her on every alternative Christmas, birthday, Easter, all starting this year as I had her last year, the court date is in January, I feel as though I can't have contact with him, he brings me down, he is nasty and I can't put up with him, I am going through a hard time, I have not long lost both mg parents, I can't have him giving me a hard time too. I feel my only way out is to block him.

Keep it factual.
He abandoned you when pg
You have offered reasonable access in the interest of your dc
He has not kept to agreed boundaries and kept her beyond agreed times with minimal communication
He is abusive towards you, give examples and any formally reported incidents
Your dc is ? Old and vulnerable
You are the main caregiver
Is she breastfed?
Is he on birth certificate?
Does he contribute financially towards dc?

Sorry but the reality is that you have a child with this man and however much you dislike him the courts will look to facilitate contact with your child unless there is an extremely strong reason not to. I’m not an expert but alternate christmases etc sound quite normal to me. You not wanting to put up with him isn’t any justification to prevent your child having a relationship with their father. And when it comes to parent child relationships you can’t just ‘block’ someone and assume that makes it all go away. Kindly, I think you need to approach this with maturity and realistic understanding of what it means to co parent with someone. Often it’s a nightmare if you don’t like that person and they try and make your life harder, but you have to do it. You can’t just block them on WhatsApp and make it all go away.

Also if it was before she was born, he didn’t walk out on her. He left you. And you say he has had regular contact. And that it was his mother that kept her too long. From what you’ve said I’m struggling to see how this is much different to any other Co parenting situation where an agreement needs to be reached about contact which facilitates a relationship between the child and both parents. It doesn’t sound like a situation where courts would see justification for you preventing him having access to your child, so you need to be careful you’re not seen as engaging in parental alienation.

Focus on what is in your child’s best interest and wrote based on that. You need to set out why you propose for weekly contact, holidays and special
occasions. Be clear on how your proposal is in the child’s best interest.

If your ex didn’t bring DC home then a Child Arrangement Order might be good for you too as it clearly sets contact out.

if you don’t agree to alternate birthdays and other special occasions how do you propose this is spilt? Eg time with each parent, handover at 1pm etc.

He's not a baby dad, he's a dad. Who the court will want to have contact with his dc based on the info given, as its deemed in the best interest of a child to have contact with both parents as far as possible.

Does he live 2 hours away from you or is it just his mum?

Will he actually follow through on taking you to court?

You can't block him, he's made a court application. You have to engage with this.
His requests don't sound unreasonable. I know you're struggling with your bereavements but you're going to have to manage this contact stuff. It's actually good for you if there's a court order as he will be expected to stick to it as much as you are.

There's a court date in January - he's already done it

Guess it’s predictive text but it’s write in a witness statement