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Grandparents taking me to court for access

34 replies

Smith100 · 12/11/2023 18:49

Hi

I was wondering if anyone had deal with a similar situation to one I am currently facing.

My mother has been abusive for years. Screaming, shouting and crying. Not just at me, also her in laws, colleagues, my brother and our wives for such reasons as, not saying bye, making pizzas for dinner, children visiting a toy shop.

This came to a head a couple of years ago when my sister in law had terminal cancer. My mother had one of her usual outbursts. When things calmed I said that my brother and his terminally ill wife were not to be told of events. At this point she made three separate threats against my brother. My father witnessed this and did nothing. He has never done anything about her behaviour.

At this point I felt that she was capable of anything so said she needed to be supervised around my children so that me or my wife could remove them in the event of one of her outbursts.

Both her and my father are vehemently opposed to me or my wife being there. I initially agreed that my father could provide the supervision but it quickly became apparent he was not up to the task so it reverted back to me and my wife.

Since then my parents have refused at least 7 different opportunities to see the children. Three offers were to have the children in their own home.

It has been almost two years and they are now taking me to court. I have heard from my brother that her behaviour has deteriorated further in that time.

Thank you

OP posts:
Theonlywayisuptoyou · 07/11/2024 14:02

4 separate court occasions seems crazy for a request with no chance of success. Sorry for the stress and expense you incurred, I hope they racked up a huge legal bill for no gain, surely they must have gone against legal advice to keep going. At least you can feel totally justified in going NC.

FrequentlyAskedQuestion · 09/11/2024 17:29

That all sounds very stressful and upsetting. Albeit the expected outcome.

Well, they have shot their bolt. I doubt you are planning to spend Christmas with them!

Ponderingwindow · 09/11/2024 17:47

for what it is worth, I have a parent who is not allowed unsupervised access to my child. We have managed to maintain a distant relationship. If courts got involved, I can’t imagine I would be very forgiving.

BeCoralBeaker · 11/11/2024 14:56

Hi could I have some information on how long the process took and did they get access to take it to court
I’m currently going through same thing I’m at the very start

JimPanzee · 11/11/2024 15:09

Thanks for the update@Smith100.
It's awful you had to go through that, great to hear it went your way in the end.

OrNo · 16/11/2024 20:47

I'm sorry you went through this but pleased you were vindicated.

Smith100 · 07/03/2025 14:03

theemmadilemma · 07/11/2024 13:45

How did they manage to drag you to court 4 times?

And do you think you could have done it without legal assistance?

Hi, not sure really.

First was a permission hearing where all they had to do was demonstrate they had a previous relationship with the children.

2nd hearing they basically got told to see the children (which they ignored).

3rd hearing was a bit of a non-event with the magistrate saying we were not going to agree. So then it went to a 4th and final session.

i think it took so long as the court assumed they were dealing with reasonable people.

In all honesty we needed legal guidance initially to understand the process etc. But once it got to about 3k in costs we stopped. We represented ourselves through the hearings, which I think family courts are used to.

OP posts:
Smith100 · 07/03/2025 14:05

BeCoralBeaker · 11/11/2024 14:56

Hi could I have some information on how long the process took and did they get access to take it to court
I’m currently going through same thing I’m at the very start

Sorry to hear that. Hmm, they appointed a mediator in August 2023 but they decided not to take the case on after speaking with both of us.

Then we got a court letter in about November 2023. But the first hearing didn’t take place til Feb 2024. The final hearing was November 2024.

OP posts:
SnappyReader · 14/03/2025 14:37

Hi @Smith100 I have PM’d you, in a similar position again (FIL went quiet last year) and could do with some advice please? Me & OH are worried sick ☹️☹️

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